944DRIVER

My friends describe me as a maladjusted discontented social misfit suffering from delusions of grandeur. This is my primary source of self esteem. I was born in Florida and kidnapped by polar bears vacationing at Sea World. They took me back to Canada where I learned to fish with my hands and float on large chucks of ice. I knew something was different as my hands were smaller than dad's and I never developed that white fur coat. Mom loved me though and I have fond memories of snuggling up to that big furry backside. My greatest fear is being chased by smoked salmon. Penguins are my best friends but turtles are more reliable. After retiring from the circus, where I started as the bearded lady, I started a dead flower and adult toy car business. I only watch movies with talking animals and I like to correspond by email with female inmates. My favorite color is fish and I like to read can labels. Now, I've done some self reflection and the question that begs to be answered is "Do I really want to be taken as a joke or some nut case?' And lord knows you women must see some real whacko’s on here. The fact of the matter is that I am a very complex individual but not at all complicated. I am extremely deep but totally transparent. Is the silly humor a shield? Probably!! Ladies, what you are looking at is one of the last nice guys left. I wasn't always. I am a hero personality. My life’s work is to "Comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable"

I prefer petite women with large breasts and small feet. Wait, I meant tall women with small breasts and large feet. Now that can't be right. All right, here's the deal. You are a woman, have breasts and feet. Oh and I really like hair. So you should have hair, preferably your own. You must love animals. If you have a dog, please include a picture of them in any correspondence. Now aren't you having fun. Oh my God he's doing it again!! If you've made it to here, I'm impressed. My answer to the above is "I'm looking for my angel". In life, I have found sometimes you need an angel, sometimes you ARE the angel. What idiot said it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all? I understand the concept but the truth in that reality is frankly disturbing. As a young man I was a womanizer. Women were objects to be used and discarded. (I did have the looks then to do selfish, self-centered destruction) At the age of enlightenment, I changed. I made amends where I could. If one practices deceit, then so shall they reap. I now have the scars I can talk about. I'll use this last piece to give you insight. I carry no emotional baggage. It's been turned to wisdom. I am a complete individual. I'm not married or in a relationship. My constant companions are my two dogs. I don't ever lie.....NEV R.....EVER. I don't want to own you or change you. I want to KNOW you. Oh, and I always know the answer to 'Do these jeans make me look fat?'