MRWRITE

When you add in the shipping and handling costs, those Russian brides are just too expensive. So I got to thinking, I've been having pretty good luck with stuff from e-bay. Sure, it's used, but it still has some life left in it. This internet dating thing just might work out that well. I'm not much of a reader I don't waste my time actually reading profiles. I prefer to quickly scan them for key words & phrases like filthy rich nymphomaniac trust fund etc. If I sent you a bawdy email, it doesn't necessarily indicate anything romantic, I might just be wearing the beer goggles again. And I am an animal lover, especially the fillies that finish first with my $20 on their numbers. . I prefer to constantly reassure with loving phrases like "Hey, get yourself a beer while you're there" and "Here's a couple of bucks, why don't you run out to WalMart and buy yourself something nice." The difference between me and all those other guys is that I really mean it. I am absolutely a ONE WOMAN MAN! I would never even consider asking you to get together with my current wife.

Prefer totally submissive woman young enough or cute enough to look like a trophy wife. Must be wealthy, or have a good-paying job. If you're interested in doing that motherhood thing, that's okay - just don't expect me to get up and handle a squawking kid. It would be beneficial if you worked-out regularly because you will be hefting cases of longnecks on a daily basis. I won't be going with you to the gym. The same applies for church. A working gal will be expected to rise and dress without disturbing me. I can be a real bear in the morning, so have a cup of coffee and a shot of Jack ready for me when you come home on your lunch hour to wait on me. A good PDA could be the new bike you buy me (Ducati - not Harley), but I haven't decided on the color of my new truck, I'll let you surprise me. Seems fair, you're paying for it. Would also be good if you're a mute, I would let you take the mittens off when I wanted to know what you had to say. All responses must include your '04 W2, statement of current net worth, your credit score, and nude photographs from at least 3 angles. (Action videos may be substituted for the photos. Note to Paris H.: I saw your stuff on the web, you can consider this requirement filled.) Aliens, desperate to evade deportation, will be considered if they meet the above criteria and don't look too much like a mail-order bride. I have a reputation to protect.