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December 08, 2004
5 Tips for Getting from first email to first date
It may be exciting, the thought of going from anonymous emails to getting an actual date. Let's see how it works. From initial attraction to a face to face date, it's important to take your time.
Starting from a look at their picture, to exchanging "send a smile" and emails -- it takes time to build trust, to get to a first real date. What to do? Here's how to start:
Five Practical Ideas to Help You Get from Email to Live Dates
Idea One: Talk on the phone first. Ok, the other person's picture looks fine - so let's take some time getting to know the other person on the phone. It may be that they look great, send nice emails, but are hard to understand, or sound like "something's not right." Pay attention to your instincts. Talk to them on the phone, at least a few times, before agreeing to meet them in person, in a very public place.
Idea Two: Questions to Get Started With? Here's a few icebreakers that you'll want to know about in your emails and phone call to that other person: 1) What do you like to do on your weekends? 2) Do you like to go out a lot, or stay home? 3) What do you like best about someone you're dating? 4) When you eat out, where do you like to go?
Idea Three: Ask them upfront: After a few emails and a couple of phone calls, you may be ready to meet them in person. It's up to the both of you. If they are evasive or hesitant to meet, ask them why. It may be simply that they're shy. As long as you can phone them without problems, that may be fine. But, also look for red flags (eg answering machine always one, phone not answered regularly).
You may want to ask them upfront, how they'd like to go about this, to see what their ideas are. After talking on the phone a few times, you should know whether or not you'd like to meet. Make plans, in a safe public place. See our safety tips for ideas. Then, have fun meeting them at a local restaaurant or mall.
Idea Four: Being Ready for Romance Getting started in a new romance is both thrilling and a time of great uncertainty. Myself, I like to plan on finding a woman who's both a friend and someone I'm attracted to. Getting from a photo and description, to "first contact" by email, to phone call and then meeting in person, is lots of fun. Being ready to meet someone also means you may need to juggle your schedule a bit - as dates take up time, as you're having fun on the town with that new person in your life!
Idea Five: How Often Should I email or call them? On the one hand, you don't want to seem overly desperate. Then again, you don't want them to think you're not interested. Finding a middle ground depends on what each person feels comfortable with. Remember, one woman may want to send emails twice a week, another, every day. Each person expresses themselves differently, and works on a different schedule. Part of becoming a good dating partner is finding out who you're compatible with, and adjusting your style to fit the other person's.
Emails: It's disappointing if an email isn't returned within 24 hours. It also looks over-eager if emails are returned within 2-3 hours.So, find a middle ground. Same with phone calls - always return calls within 24 hours, but don't call back immediately, unless you're on familiar ground with that special person you're talking with.
Gary Peterson, Datelife.com
Posted by LC at December 8, 2004 12:10 PM
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