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December 10, 2004
Do Attractive Women Really Want To Meet Men Online?
A great question I was asked a little while ago was "Why would an attractive woman living in a big city ever use the internet to meet a guy?"
On first glance, it DOES seem kind of bizarre. We all know that women are "hit on" in regular life, be it on their way to work, when they are out with friends, at a club, etc.
And an attractive woman would have even more of this, so it would seem like the last thing a sane woman would do is seriously put up a profile on a dating site.
Well, the answer is that there is far more than meets the eye to this situation:
1: THE NET SAVES TIME AND ALLOWS FOR GREATER SELECTIVITY
First of all, although women DO meet lots of guys in their regular life, they STILL don't often meet a guy they actually DESIRE. That means a guy who's got that magical combination of things that makes her feel CHEMISTRY.
You see, women don't feel desperate just to have sex. They know they can have it anytime, so they tend to be a little more selective. The fact that tons of guys try to hit on her doesn't mean she WANTS those guys.
The internet gives women a chance to check out TONS of guys before they "waste time" on them. Women can read about a guy, his profile, his pic, she can chat over the net and therefore SCREEN the guy before meeting him.
(Unfortunately, most guys give off a TOTALLY WRONG IMPRESSION of themselves, i.e. UNSEXY, from their profile. I'll discuss more on this later in this article.)
2: THE NET ALLOWS FOR GREATER DISCRETION
There is another benefit of the internet for women. You see, women still have this fear of being labelled a "slut" and the social disapproval that comes with that. But through the internet, she doesn't have to worry about explaining her desires, she can just find a guy who has already made it clear either in his chat to her or in his profile, or by the sheer nature of a particular personals site, that he is looking for the same thing she is.
These days, there is a site for everyone, no matter WHAT you are looking for - whether it's a relationship, something casual, something within your ethnicity, or something very bizarre and far-out - there is a site for it.
All she has to do is just click and go for it. No embarrasing discussion for her, since she's already been accepted by the very nature of the site.
And NO ONE else has to know a thing.
On the net, you can state what you want, and find someone who wants the same thing, and presto - you got it. Very direct, and very discreet.
This is a HUGE factor that appeals to women.
3: INTERNET PERSONALS SITES ARE NO LONGER STIGMATIZED
Another factor that is appealing to women about the internet is the fact that there is no longer a stigma to using it, even for women. Many of these sites have spent MILLIONS of dollars on shaping a woman-friendly image and marketing to women to help them feel that meeting someone through the net is trendy, hip and cool.
SO HOW CAN GUYS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS?
What GUYS need to understand about meeting a woman online, is that the MEDIUM does not change the REALITY that women want guys who are COOL. They want THE MAN.
Just like you can be THE MAN in person, you can also be THE MAN online.
Guys who act boring or who act like nerds when they meet women in person, tend to exhibit the SAME behavior ONLINE, and thus get the SAME results, often referred to as "frustration" and "dry spells".
As readers of my eBook and my articles are aware, women simply feel REPULSED by guys who are desperate, lonely, or needy. Women also want to puke when they meet a guy who is expecting the WOMAN to lead the way.
It also helps if the guy can actually have an EXCITING or at least INTERESTING and FUN conversation, if he can be playful and not so serious, as this is just plain FUN and also is interpreted by a woman as a sign that he has everything under control, which makes her feel relaxed.
CLASSIC MISTAKES GUYS MAKE ONLINE:
1. SENDING A WOMAN A MANUSCRIPT.
Think about what goes through a woman's mind when she see a LONG message from you, a total stranger, just because you read her PROFILE.
Keep it short - a couple paragraphs tops. You see, most women have TONS of emails coming in from guys on the site. So they are BUSY, and thus keep their replies BRIEF in order to deal with it all.
If YOU send them an essay on how awesome you think they are, you're history. It's an instant message to her that says "He's a loser with too much time on his hands and too few women in his life."
And stay away from the compliments for now, it will sound very manipulative to her and also very desperate.
2. STAY AWAY FROM THE SAME OLD:
Don't give her the same old thing she's read from a thousand guys.
How many times have you read something like "Hi, my name is ___. I like walks on the beach, movies and etc etc."
That's BORING. Imagine YOU had to read the same old thing a thousand times a day.
Oh, my next one is a personal favourite:
3. NO SELF-THERAPY ONLINE.
Your profile shouldn't be a self-therapy session, where you explain all the hurt you've gone through and how badly you are looking for Ms. Right.
That doesn't turn women on. It might make them feel SORRY for you, but it won't turn them ON.
Women want WINNERS. So if you feel that your life sucks, and that it's been a real bummer so far, keep it to yourself - that way it can get better, especially at night!
This brings me to the FLIP-SIDE of this point:
4. DON'T "SHOW OFF" EITHER.
So many guys are so insecure, the first thing they do is start mentioning on their profile is that they are blah blah blah - their job, their status, their education, and it just looks like the guy is trying desperately to win some points, because he feels he is undesirable and is going to be rejected otherwise.
Don't worry, if you're really God's gift to women, she'll find out that stuff later. Let her figure that out on her own.
Instead of showing off, or appealing to sympathy, I recommend that you COMMUNICATE to women online using the LANGUAGE OF COOL.
For example, a COOL PROFILE NAME for starters. Do you know how many times I've actually seen guys use the header "NICE GUY" as their screen name? I've researched this stuff, and the answer is A LOT!!!
That's like putting your head in front of a cannon and yelling "FIRE AWAY!"
By Michael W.
Posted by LC at December 10, 2004 01:11 PM
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