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December 24, 2004
Meeting in Person for the First Time
After spending adequate time chatting with someone, you have finally reached a point that the two of you want to meet...
After all, with online dating, this is the goal in the first place so seeing it come to fruition is exciting! Just as you took precautions when first starting out on the dating service, you now need to use a new set of precautions when meeting in person.
- Always meet in a safe, public location where there are other people around. Make sure a friend or family member knows where you are meeting, the time you are meeting, and the time you will be leaving. If you are not sure how long the meeting will take, use your cell phone to call the friend or family member when you leave so they know you are on your way home. Typically, a restaurant or coffee shop would be the best choices. If you change your plans, always let someone know.
- Never have the person pick you up in his or her car. Instead, you need to drive your own car so you have the opportunity to leave if you feel uncomfortable or things do not go as planned.
- Set up the encounter on a day and at a time when YOU are comfortable. Do not feel pushed into meeting at a precise time or place. If the other person insists that you meet where they say and when they say, then cancel the meeting altogether.
- Do not feel bad if you decide to cancel at the last minute. Too often, people from online dating services are eager to get things going, bypassing the friendship/courtship phase. Just follow your instincts and if the person is not understanding about you changing your mind or becomes angry, then you know it was not meant to be.
- If you need to fly or drive to another city or state to meet this person, make your own hotel arrangements in a reputable hotel and do not share the information. Rent a car at the airport upon arrival so you can drive yourself to the hotel and to the meeting. Do not agree to meet at the hotel lobby, as the purpose is to have a safe haven should you need it.
To give you an idea of the favorite places to meet, consider the following statistics:
- Coffeehouses � 47% meet at a coffeehouse where the atmosphere is relaxed and low-key, inexpensive, and provides the opportunity to talk in a safe environment.
- Restaurants � 28% choose to meet at a restaurant, preferably at lunch or early dinner. You want to choose a warm and cozy restaurant that is not too intimate so you both feel at ease.
- Bar � 22% meet at a bar to have a few drinks and perhaps dance. While this is not a bad option, it does have disadvantages in that talking is usually difficult because of the music and noise. Additionally, the scene of the bar usually creates too many distractions so you and your date are no focusing fully on each other.
- Home � Only 3% meet at home and in reality, this should be 0%! This is never a good option in that you really do not yet know the person.
- Parent�s Home � About 1% will meet at the parent�s house but again, even thought the individual seems nice and everything seems to be on the up and up, you do not know this person. Therefore, this too is a bad choice.
Posted by LC at December 24, 2004 03:40 PM
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