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January 24, 2005
Why Your Tribal Brain Makes You Nervous
Let me share with you a little secret about how all men's brains - including YOURS - is wired when approaching woman.
Have you ever thought to yourself, WHY do I get nervous or anxious when approaching a woman? After all, if you approach 5 or 6 new women every day, if you could be absolutely fearless and confident with women, your love and sex life would probably explode. So why would you get nervous and anxious at all -- seems like your brain isn't doing what's best for you does it?
Just take me, for example. Normally, I can approach any women, anytime, anywhere. Even if I screw an approach up, I usually feel fine about it and it doesn't stop me from making the next one.
However, last weekend I was at one of my sister's parties. The place was packed with single girls. Yet when I saw a girl I liked, I would freeze up and this little voice in my head would tell me, "What if you screw up... maybe you shouldn't do this... be careful!"
I just couldn't get that little voice out of my head and I left the party after only an hour because I was getting frustrated with myself.
So how come I could approach an anonymous woman on the street who I'll probably never see again, and yet feel anxious about approaching a woman at one of my sister's parties?
The answer lies in how humans evolved. For most of history, men and women lived in small groups of hunters and gatherers of no more than 100 individuals. If you made a move on ANY woman - and she rejected your advances - EVERYONE would know about it. And that would mean MASSIVE negative social proof with all of your potential mates. Because if one woman rejected you, you'd look like a loser to ALL of the other women you could mate with. You'd seriously jeopardize your ability to ever get laid again and have children.
So your shyness and nervousness is actually a DEFENSE to protect you from looking like a reject in the tribal setting. And that's why, when my sister and her friends were watching me that night at the party, I FROZE UP. After all, if I screwed my approach up with any girl, my sister and ALL of her friends would have seen me - and that would have looked really bad!
However, in today's world we DON'T live in small bands of hunters and gatherers. We DON'T have to worry about one rejection influencing all of the other females (potential mates) we know. In fact, in today's world, when we have the opportunity to approach a woman, we're COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. We can screw up badly and there are ABSOLUTELY NO CONSEQUENCES!
So we've spent millions of years adapting to an environment where rejection from a girl could mean disastrous consequences - and only in the last few hundred years has the situation completely changed. In other words, what was once a useful strategy for being genetically successful (i.e. being cautious when approaching women) is no longer a successful genetic strategy at all!
In today's modern society of anonymity, being nervous, shy, or cautious is DISASTROUS as far as getting laid. Shyness is a computer program in your brain, evolved over millions of years, that is meant to help you and protect you -- but now only hinders you. Times have changed, but your brain hasn't.
That's why you need advanced techniques that change the very core of your psychology from the inside out! And that's one of the reasons you need advanced seduction technology, including hypnosis and NLP... so that you won't be prisoner to millions of years of evolutionary programming like everyone else.
By Derek Vitalio
Posted by LC at January 24, 2005 11:07 AM
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