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 March 03, 2005

Tips for Your First Date

Making the date

Make the first date a casual and short one for coffee or light lunch. Unless you are really comfortable, avoid dinner date. Set the time which you can keep. Changing the first date gives the wrong impression.

Although your objective is finding a new lover or friend, you don’t really know this person. Safety should be an important consideration. Always set up the first date at a public place where there are a lot of other people and you should be able to get away at will if you so desire. Let a friend or relative know about this date—time and place as well as whom you are meeting.

Before the Date:

You want your date to be natural, but you also want to appear interesting. Update yourself with current events, topics, new movies, books, and music, etc. If you regularly read newspapers and magazines, you are already prepared. Have some topics in mind in case you need to initiate a new conversation topic.

Wear clean and stylish cloths, and gloom yourself a bit—to show the better side of you. But do not overdress or over-gloom—you may not look natural or you may even scare your date away.

Do not accept ride to and from the meeting place from your date. You should arrange your own transportation until you become very comfortable. Do not include your children or friends in the date—you will have opportunities to do so later.

Bring some money, and offer to pay for your meal, etc. But if your date offers to pay, do not over-insist on paying for yourself.

When you meet that person:

Whether you are a man or woman, confidence makes you more attractive. Feel confident, be friendly, maintain your sense of humor and be light hearted. If you need to ease any nervousness, tell yourself “If it does not work out, it’s not the end of the world. There are thousands of others to date.” Being at ease with the situation will greatly enhance your ability to handle the date. Remember that the other side is just as anxious. You are more attractive when you are natural, honest and be yourself.

Call your date by her or his name, make frequent eye contacts and generally be warm—these gestures will make your date more comfortable and show the real her or him.

Most importantly, DO NOT TALK TOO MUCH. Usually nervous people tend to talk a lot. Let your date talk more than you do. Your date will feel it was a successful rendezvous, and you will have more opportunity to observe if this person is for you. Be honest about what you say. Listen to what he or she says with interest. Find something positive about your date, and compliment him or her. Stay away from heavy or controversial topics (politics and religion among them) at the first date. Upon completion, thank him/her for the date, but do not offer or promise to call unless you really mean it.

Posted by LC at March 3, 2005 10:00 AM | TrackBack

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