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April 27, 2004

Building Attraction Through Tension Loops…

By Swinggcat - author of Real World Seduction


One of my maxims for ATRACTING women is to make them ABC…to make them ALWAYS BE CHASING me.

In my book I call this PRIZING.

PRIZING women is important because when you do things to make women chase you they will begin to see you as a PRIZE they want to win over.

One technique for PRIZING I talk about in my book is Open Loop.

An Open Loop is an unfinished thought or story. So, within the context of ATTRACTING women, some examples of open loops are:

When a man tells a woman a really juicy story and just at the point that she really starts to get into the story, he intentionally withholds the conclusion from her.

Or…

When a man acts as if he knows something about a woman but when she asks him what it is he refuses to tell her.

Are you guys starting to get why open loops are so powerful?

They are powerful because they leave women wanting and reaching for more.

And when women are wanting and reaching for more, they are CHASING us.

I have noticed a few of the guys who have recently purchased my book have spawned quite a few online discussions on open loops.

This is great because it tells me that guys are really getting out there and using the ideas in my book.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the psychological mechanism behind open loops: What is it about ‘open loops’ that cause women to want and reach for more?

And about a month ago it dawned on me while watching TV. I was watching a television show that I did not find terribly interesting, and out of nowhere the power went out. The weird thing was that inside I felt this emotional “want” to find out the conclusion to a TV show I did not even find interesting. But the more I thought about this the more I realized that I did not really want to find out what happened, but wanted closure and resolution.

Even though the show was not very good, it had created some unresolved emotional tension in me. The power going out made me aware of my need to release, resolve, and bring closure to this tension.

So, what I have discovered is that the psychological mechanism behind open loops is in creating unresolved emotional tension.

What I have realized is that besides using open loops, there are literally hundreds of ways of creating, and increasing unresolved emotional tension.

Doing this is what I call a “Tension Loop”. The structure of a Tension Loop is to first do something that creates unresolved emotional tension.

For example, you could do this by using an open loop: an unfinished story or thought.

Or you could do this by creating a barrier between you and a woman. If you have chemistry with a woman you might want to hint that there is already a woman in your life, planting the seed in her mind that even though you and her like each other, it probably will not work out between the both of you because you are already taken.

Or you could feign being really offended by something a woman does or says. If she asks you, “What do you do for a living?” you could hasten back with, “I am not the guy who used to work with you at Mc. Donald’s, and if we ever hang out there is to be no talk about your career path at McDonalds…I wouldn’t want you to embarrass me in front of my friends”.

Or you could do something to invalidate a woman, such as, acting unimpressed with her or even hinting at not liking her.

Now once you have created this tension loop inside a woman, you can keep going with it: you can build it larger and more intense.

For example, if you create a tension loop by acting offended by something a woman says or does, you can make that tension loop larger and more intense by continuing to act offended.

But at a certain point, you need to close the tension loop-bring some resolution, release, or closure to it.

I have found that people who are effective at using tension loops-for example, auspicious writers and marketers - all follow a similar structure:

1) They do or say something to create the tension loop
2) They keep going with what they said or did, making the “tension loop” larger
3) They do something to close the tension loop; bring some release or resolution to it
4) They open it back up, but just a little bit.

Also, have you ever noticed that this is the structure of many great movies? Think about it: many great movies start off with a tension loop by introducing some kind of conflict or drama. Then, the tension loop increases up until the point of the climax. Then the tension loop is closed by bringing some resolution to the conflict or drama. And, finally, the movie ends by either the tension loop being opened back up or a new tension loop opening up. This makes the movie watcher want to see the sequel.

Lets now look at an example of sparking a tension loop, building it, closing it, and then opening up a new tension loop - but just a little bit.

A few days ago, after exchanging some light banter with a woman, I said to her, “You know…I don’t like you…”

She gave me a flabbergasted look and panted, “What!” (Being the attractive woman that she was, she had probably never had anyone say this to her before).

I had sparked a tension loop in her.

Next I made the tension loop bigger by saying, “I’m sorry, that probably came off wrong. Let me be more specific: I really don’t like you.”

Here I was making the tension loop larger: intensifying all of that unresolved emotional tension inside her. Now although this is very powerful, you do not want to create so much tension that she snaps -you do not want to PUSH her away completely. So the idea is to take her to the edge - or close to it. It is similar to kids blowing bubbles. They want to blow as much air into the bubble to ensure that it is as big as possible, but if they blow too much air into the bubble it will pop. This takes practice, and you really have to learn to observe how much emotional tension she is experiencing at any given moment.

Then I said to her, “And the reason I don’t like you is that you remind me of this girl Miranda whom I hated in the second grade. I hated her because she used to always beat me at hot hands (BTW, “hot hands” is a game that children play.).

Then I challenged her to a game of hot hands, defeated her quickly, and gloated, “Yes…I am the winner, and, actually, I like you now…since you really stink at hot hands”.

So here I closed the tension loop by bringing resolution and release to her emotional tension. And then I opened a new loop - just a little bit - by telling her that she stinks at hot hands.

There is a lot of psychologically going on here. And in this newsletter I am only scratching the surface of what I am doing. I am going to do another newsletter soon, where I will go a lot deeper into the psychological mechanisms of tension loops.

But if you are really interested in mastering the techniques for triggering these underlying psychological mechanisms in women come visit me at:

http://www.realworldseduction.com

P.S.-If you have a question for me, please email me at: swinggcat@realworldseduction.com

_____________________________________________
Copyright 2004© Superior Living Inc. All rights reserved. Swinggcat and RealWorldSeduction are trademarks of Superior Living Inc.
Posted by LC at 11:58 AM

April 21, 2004

Free Personals Site – 0Dating – Rebirth

LoveCompass Personals launched this great free personals site several months ago as an experiment. Starting from today 0Dating Free Personals will work with new, advanced system, renewed design and more features or all members. The most exciting part is that all features still remain absolutely free!

Most “free online dating” sites are not in fact free – your possibilities are very limited until you pay for subscription or contact “stamps”. On the contrary, 0Dating is a completely free online personals website, making living from Google’s contextual ads showing on all pages of the site. Although most of the ads are originating from competing sites, 0Dating still makes perfect sense both for users and founders – it is a well known fact that singles generally use 3-4 dating sites simultaneously, so why not show some advertisements?

With new look and feel and with improved functionality 0Dating is believed to grow much faster and provide better options for all its free members.

Posted by LC at 07:58 AM

April 01, 2004

AMERICANS SEEK FRIENDLY COMPANIONSHIP FROM ONLINE DATING SITES

AMERICANS SEEK FRIENDLY COMPANIONSHIP, NOT MARRIAGE,
FROM ONLINE DATING SITES, NEW USERPLANE SURVEY REVEALS


Casual Fling is the Thing Only for the Wired 18-24 Set

LOS ANGELES (March 31, 2004) – As the definition of marriage and its place in American life are being hotly debated across the nation, the popularity of online dating sites continues to surge. But that begs the question: what kind of relationships are Americans looking for online?

In a new nationwide survey conducted by market research firm Synovate for Userplane (www.userplane.com), Americans say they believe people who use dating Web sites to meet others are primarily looking for good times and steady companionship – not marriage. Userplane is a pioneer in applying video and audio instant messaging to support live communications for Web-based communities, including some 40 online dating sites.

In fact, regardless of race, gender, household income, marital status or region – in all but the key 18-24 demographic – Americans believe people are mostly looking for non-romantic companionship online. For that Net-savvy 18-24 age group, however, the casual fling’s the thing (36 percent, versus 32 percent for steady companionship, 20 percent for a committed relationship and only 3 percent for marriage). Overall, only 5.5 percent of those surveyed see marriage as a likely outcome of matches made online. Conducted in March, the survey asked 1,000 Americans, “Whether or not you have ever used an online dating site, what do you think people are looking for most online?” Overall, 37 percent believe people are looking for good times and companionship. Slightly more than 23 percent of all respondents believe people are looking online for a committed relationship, with only a mere 5.5 percent believing marriage is the ultimate goal. By contrast, some 27 percent of respondents believe people who use online dating sites are simply looking for a fling.

“We’ve begun an interesting conversation in this country about marriage and relationships – at a time when the Internet has revolutionized the way we meet people and has expanded our community beyond our own backyard to include the entire wired world,” said Michael Jones, president, Userplane. “More and more people are using online dating Web sites and other types of online communities to meet people. This survey clearly shows that Americans see the value the Internet can offer in helping them meet people who share their interests, develop friendships and find companionship.”

Mars and Venus: Fling or Long-Term Relationship?

In the survey, the classic battle lines in the war of the sexes are drawn yet again; on a gender basis, men are more likely to select flings over romantic relationships as the reason to try online dating sites. Nearly 35 percent of males believe people are looking for flings on dating sites, compared with 19 percent of women. In contrast, 27 percent of women said a committed relationship is the goal, while only 19 percent of men agree. While for both groups the expectation of marriage ranks low, women are still almost twice as likely as men to say that it’s the reason people visit dating sites (7 percent versus 3.7 percent, respectively).

White males 18 to 24 with a high school education or less are most likely to view the Internet as a place to find a fling. Non-whites, women and those with post-graduate degrees prefer to see online dating sites as potential sources for a committed relationship -- or, to a lesser extent, marriage.

Perhaps predictably, the younger you are, the more you see the Internet as a place to find a fling. While more than 36 percent of 18-24 year olds say a fling is the reason people use Internet dating sites, just 22 of those over 65 agree. Those between 55 and 64 are more likely than any other age segment to look for a committed relationship (27 percent), where those 35 to 44 cited marriage more than any other age group.

Those who live in the West were less likely than those in other regions of the country to believe people are online to find committed relationships (19 percent, compared with 26 percent in the Northeast, 25.5 percent in the Midwest and 23 percent in the South), but they were more likely to say people are looking for marriage (7 percent, compared with 5 percent for the rest of the country).

Other key findings:
  • Wandering eyes? Married respondents were slightly more likely than their non-married counterparts to believe that people are primarily looking for flings online (28.4 percent and 24.7 percent, respectively).
  • Friendship reigns. Interestingly, those 65 and over share something in common with part-time workers, whatever their age. More than the other demographic groups, seniors and part-timers are most likely to value making friendships online, with an identical 43.5 percent saying people visit online dating sites for good times and steady companionship.
  • A racial split. Whites are twice as likely as non-whites to regard the Internet as a place to find a fling (28 percent and 14 percent, respectively), where non-whites are more than twice as likely as whites to seek a marriage partner online (12 percent versus 5 percent).
    A copy of the survey results may be obtained on request by sending an email to info@edgepress.com.


    About Userplane

    Userplane (www.userplane.com) is a pioneer in offering Flash-based Web applications that support live text and audio/video communication. Based in Los Angeles, the company is an innovator in enterprise community messaging that enables a broad range of Web sites to run branded communication applications. Using Macromedia's Flash Communication Server MX technology, Userplane Apps are deployed internationally on sites ranging from online communities to intranets. The application suite reaches tens of millions of users and supports more than one million live conversations each month. Userplane continues to provide forward-thinking Web and software development for industry-leading clients including Red Bull, Honda, 1-800 Flowers and Juicy Couture.


    Posted by LC at 06:36 AM