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August 14, 2004

5 Myths Preventing Men From Attracting Women...

By Swinggcat – author of Real World Seduction

Myth #1: Being an Attractive Man Is Always About Appealing
To What Women Say They Want.


If you are one of those vehement supporters of this myth, you should get a noose and hang yourself - you'll be better off. Trying to get a woman to like you by attempting to live up to her ideal preferences in a man is a one way ticket to transforming your ego into a proverbial punching bag. Women prefer tall, dark, handsome, rich men, packing dogs with garden hose length and telephone pole girth. Oh, furthermore, if you don't want to fall short of their expectations you better be lumbered with chiseled abs and a copious bubble butt. If your rump isn't up to par, you could always get silicon butt cheek implants. But forewarning: Your black-and-blue rear will be so sore that you won't be able to sit down for a month.

As those of you know who have been reading my newsletters and have read my book: Attraction is not what a woman says she wants. If attraction was what women say they prefer, then I wouldn't know short, bald, fat, and broke guys experiencing massive success with women. But I do.

Attraction, contrary to this, is about you creating the emotion inside women of wanting, chasing, and reaching for more of you. Although my short, bald, fat and broke Casanova buddies don't fill the quota of the “ideal man,” they do manage to generate the emotion inside women of wanting, chasing, and reaching for more of them. And this, my friend, is why they are massively successful with women. The art of creating this emotion in women is what I call PRIZING. My book is chockfull of different techniques for PRIZING women, some of which are Open Loops, Tension Loops, Challenging & Qualifying, and Meta-Frames.

One of the best things you can do to set the groundwork for PRIZING women is to make them strive to fill the quota of your ideal female. So, when you're out with a woman, don't behave like a spineless little worm, asking her questions such as: “How am I doing with you?” Instead, when she behaves in ways that go against your standards and expectations of women, let her know that she is losing points with you - and losing points quickly!

Myth #2: If A Woman Is Of Higher Value Than You
She Is Not Allowed To Be Attracted To You.


This one actually rings some truth. Let me explain. If you see a woman and immediately, in your mind, consecrate her as a Goddess amongst Goddesses you must bow down to, you are figuratively butt ramming yourself, because you are setting the frame that she is the Prize, not you. As those of you who have read my book know, women do not feel attraction for men who are not the PRIZE. Viewing a woman you have just met as a Goddess amongst Goddesses is fine, as long as you perceive yourself as a God amongst Gods and abstain from bowing down to her.

What is the lesson to be learned? Objective value doesn't exist, only perceived value does. Although women are usually not attracted to men of lesser value than themselves, you can do a lot to increase your value. Whenever interacting with a woman, a Meta-Frame - or underlying meaning - is established, determining your value in relation to hers. When you allow a woman's perceived value to intimidate you, or make you feel of lesser value than her, you are unknowingly establishing the Meta-Frame that she is the PRIZE, not you. So the key is to stop fretting about some aspect of her being of higher value than some aspect of you, plundering you of your self-esteem. When interacting with a woman, if you ever feel ugly to her beauty or pedestrian to her sophistication or like a retarded little spaz to her sense of cool...or whatever, change your focus of attention. See the bigger picture. Realize that when first meeting a woman you paint a picture in your mind of who you think she is, based on a few aspects you observe about her. This picture usually ends up being way off base. Learn to take control of your perceptions: If you feel intimidated by her beauty, imagine what she looks like in the morning without her makeup; if her sophistication renders you tongue-tied, consider that she might be putting on an act to impress you; if you start worrying about how much older you are than her, imagine how much worse she's going to look when she's your age...and so on.

Myth # 3: If You Want To Attract Women You Have To Act Like You
Enjoy And Are Interested In The Things That They Enjoy.


This pathetic little myth is really a product of the collective dating advice for men self-help books for sale at a bookstore near you, touting men to develop the personality of an obedient lapdog.

This myth couldn't be further from the truth. Women are attracted to men, not little puppy dogs.

Hypothetically speaking, let's say you are dating a girl who has a thing for musical kitsch: think Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera. You, however, despise this kind of music and would prefer the sound of nails on a chalkboard to this crap. What should you do: Prentend Britney's great or tell her what you really think?

Although counterintuitive, pretending to like something you don't genuinely like is unattractive to women.

Likewise, having a willingness to express what you hate can redound in women finding you very attractive.

Exceptions, of course, do exist. For example, specific activities have been deemed by our culture as having a high social value. You might, for example, prefer reading comic books over participating in these activities. There could be consequences, however, to not participating in them. In one of my upcoming products, I touch on these activities. I will probably publish a newsletter in the near future addressing these activities.

Furthermore, I am not suggesting that you jettison all of a woman's interests and tastes that you do not share. Doing this will turn you into a creepy control freak and you will probably end up becoming a very unhappy, boring person. Only being around people with the same interests and tastes as you, will stifle your growth as a human being - diversity is good. I personally love to be around people who introduce me to things I don't know a lot about. This is how I develop new interests and grow as a human being.

My gripe is with men faking an interest in something as a means to get someone to like them. Doing this is really handing your balls over on a platter to the other person. Don't do this. Don't give away your power. It is one of the most unattractive qualities you can possess.

Myth # 4: Women Don't Like Sex And Will Only Sleep With You After
You Go Through Great Lengths Courting Them.


This one really makes my skin crawl. My life experience keeps reaffirming that beyond the shadow of a doubt this myth doesn't even contain a smattering of truth. Women love sex and can be as aggressive as men when it come to obtaining it.

If you doubt this, make some female friends who are not interested in you. That way they won't be concerned with how you judge them, allowing them to shed their ladylike pretenses and talk candidly about their sexuality. Warning: This lurid peek into the female sexual psyche might frighten you - it isn't for the faint of heart. What you will find is that women are as sexual as men…if not more. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if these women told you about how much fun quickies, one-night-stands, and meaningless sex can be.

Many women hold off on sleeping with men because they lest being judged as sluts. It can be quite powerful to tease women about acting sexually forward or aggressive towards you. Acting genuinely concerned, though, about a woman's sexual promiscuity can transform a sexually adventurous woman into a frigid prude.

Most men I know who are unbelievable at quickly getting women into bed have a knack for making women feel comfortable expressing their sexual habits and promiscuity (Note: This is, of course, in the context of women you've just met. You probably wouldn't want to encourage this kind of promiscuity in your wife or girlfriend).

Myth # 5: If You Aren't Currently Good With Women You Probably
Aren't Going To Get Any Better.


Simply not true. I don't believe this myth for a second. Over the years I have known many hopeless sad-sack losers who no one believed in, transform themselves into some of the most skilled ladies men I have ever seen. In many cases these guys ended up more skilled with women than natural ladies men. This is probably because they had a burning desire to get a foothold on this area of their life.

This self sabotaging myth is disseminated primarily by shrinks, guys who've had little success with women, and ladies men.

I know a few guys who were told by their psychiatrists that if they weren't good with women, they probably weren't going to get any better. And that they'd be better off compromising by settling for a less than desirable woman. One of these guys stopped seeing his therapist and is now doing fantastic with women. He gets a gold star for firing the bastard.

Some guys down on their success with women will try to feed you all sorts of negative rhetoric, such as: “if you are not already successful with women, you are not going to get any better.” These guys will infect your mind. Avoid them like the plague.

Some ladies men will try to mystify their abilities by making you think that they are blessed with some unattainable God-given talent. Often times this is an attempt to exalt their abilities at the expense of your self-esteem. Don't take that crap. You're better than that.

All of the disseminators of this myth are thought viruses that will infect your mind, sabotaging your self-esteem and future opportunities with women. If you currently have any of these people in your life, KICK 'EM TO THE CURB.

It is an understatement to say that I believe in you; I am convinced that you can succeed with women. I have met and taught men of all walks of life who have successfully turned their lives around with women. No matter what your current level of success with women is, I know you strive to get to a higher level. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this. I know you are capable of achieving your goals with women and I am going to help you get there. And if you haven't already picked up a copy of my book, do so. It's not written for losers looking to cope with their unfortunate situation. It's written for winners: People who are ready to take the bull by the horns and start achieving and living the success they dream about. At the end of the day, $39.95 is a small price to pay to be fully equipped with the tools you need to start experiencing massive success with women. So if you haven't already picked up my book, do so now.

http://www.realworldseduction.com

'Till next time,

Swinggcat


P.S.-If you have a success story you would like to share, or a question you would like to ask, or a comment you would like to make, please email me at:

swinggcat@realworldseduction.com

Include the fist initial of your first and last name. And include the country, state/province, and city you live in.

This whole "learning" thing goes both ways, you know! Oh, and be sure not to just hit "reply" to this email, because I won't get it!

Thanks!

______________________________________________
Copyright 2004 Superior Living Inc. All rights reserved.
Swinggcat and RealWorldSeduction are trademarks of Superior Living Inc.
Posted by LC at 10:18 AM

Having Women In Your Life…

By Swinggcat – author of Real World Seduction

Hey Guys,

Today I’m going to share with you something that I talk about in my book. If you aren’t currently doing what I am about to tell you, DOING IT could increase your success with women a hundred and fifty percent…if not more.

Whether you are looking for one-night-stands, threesomes, an awesome girlfriend…or whatever, implementing what you’re about to learn will redound in a giant step towards your goal.

Whether you consider yourself to be a slithering lounge lizard, a prodigious Casanova, a stand up guy, or a dilapidated ejaculate, if you are not yet doing what I am about to tell you, doing it will turbo charge your current success with women.

NOT DOING what I’m about to tell you is one of the biggest roadblocks preventing men from ATTRACTING women.

What you are about to learn is probably nothing you haven’t already heard. It, however, is one of the most neglected skills – especially by guys learning how to ATTRACT and be more successful with women.

Before I tell you what this secret is, I am going to share a little story with you. When I first became serious about mastering, what I used to perceive as, the ego bruising “social minefields,” in order to succeed with the women I desired, I befriended many guys trying, as well, to get this area of their life out of the way.

Some of these guys considered themselves to be spineless little worms. Others thought of themselves as full blown Casanovas. And a few felt like Average Joes. Some were amazing at quickly getting women into bed; while a few, alas, couldn’t, even if their life depended on it, talk to a woman.

All of us became really close and formed a taskforce with one goal in mind: To become more successful with women. I made a lot of good friends, and witnessed a few of them do some amazing things, ranging from making out with women in bars to occasionally having sex with a woman they had just met.

Despite what looked to be great success, there was a dark, depressing cloud brooding over us: None of us had any female friends. Some of the group had female friends, but got rid of them, thinking that they would take away time from attracting women. A few had never had a female friend. When we went out we never were just hanging out. Our only goal was to generate attraction in women. We did not have a single morsel of interest interacting with women we felt weren’t ATTRACTED to us. When entering a bar, women could feel our hunter energy, a pack wolves waiting to attack. Even if one of us made out with a woman, the night would usually end with just us guys.

Are you starting to get what’s wrong with this picture?

Good.

In my book, Real World Seduction, I talk about the importance of making five female friends that fit the archetype of the sort of woman you strive to ATTRACT.

Before breaking down the reasons for making at least five female friends, I’m going to get crystal clear about what I mean by “making friends with women.”

If you’re someone who sits around with their female friends, giving each other hot pink manicures and pedicures, listening to their problems with men, you’re in big trouble. Being friends with women is not about you playing the big passive bottom in their “bitter at men” gang bang. The only exception to this is if you are gay. My point: Being friends with women is about treating them exactly how you treat your guy friends. Women know you are not their girlfriends. When you act like you are their girlfriend, they interpret it as an unconvincing pretense used to get into their pants.

To reiterate: Being friends with women is about acting the way you would around your guy friends.

Let’s discuss the reasons for making friends with women.


Reason # 1:
You Will Be More Comfortable Around Women In General:


Men who don’t have female friends are usually nervous and uncomfortable around women, causing women to feel uncomfortable around them. When a woman picks this sort of man up by the proverbial scruff of his neck, and mercilessly tears him apart, like a cheaply wrought rag doll, he becomes nervous and uncomfortable in his own skin. This results in her becoming nervous and uncomfortable. In her book, this will take you straight to the top of the Creep-O-Meter.

Trying to make women feel comfortable around you when you are uncomfortable in your own skin is usually a losing battle – and often times leads to them feeling even more uncomfortable.

The best way I know to make women feel comfortable is to become comfortable in your own skin and around women. The quickest road I know to becoming comfortable in your own skin and around women is to make female friends.

Reason # 2:
You Will No Longer Need An Endless Supply Of Pick Up Lines
And Memorized Material To Be Successful With Women:


I know some guys who are amazing at approaching women and initially getting women attracted to them but as soon as they run out of rehearsed material, things take a floundering turn for the awkward as they buckle completely. One common scenario is that a guy will meet a woman and succeed in generating the emotion inside her of wanting, chasing, and reaching for more of him through using memorized material. She willingly gives him her number. When he calls she has jamais vu (jamais vu is the opposite of déjà vu: it is the illusion that you are encountering something you have already experienced for the first time). It is like she is talking to a total stranger and the emotion of her feeling attraction towards him is long gone. Since he doesn’t know what to do outside the realm of using memorized material, she treats him like a random telemarketer trying to solicit her, cutting the phone call abnormally short and hanging up. The problem is that this guy neither understands women nor knows how to act around them. One of the best ways for developing these skills is by being friends with women – especially the type you strive to succeed with. Once you have taken the time to implement the skills you learned from my book in the real world and have made a few female friends, you’ll start to notice something cool happening in your interactions with women: After talking to a woman for a few minutes you’ll know exactly how to generate attraction with her, without having to use rehearsed material. I’m not against using memorized material – in fact, I’m a fan of it. But if you can only interact with women using memorized material, you are in big trouble.

Reason # 3:
Women Know When A Man Is Not Frequently Around Other Women:


Women are clairvoyant when comes to knowing whether or not a man is frequently around women. Women assume that if other females hang around you, then you must be a cool guy. They assume, likewise, that if no females hang around you, something might be wrong with you – bad thing! This is pretty much herd mentality – go figure!

One of the big problems with a lot of the material on how to attract women is that it only focuses on making you feel more confident about yourself. As, alas, you might know, you can do all the affirmations in the world, but if you don’t have the social skills to attract women, your out of luck.

Another blunder guys make when learning how to attract women is only memorizing material to say to women. Only memorizing material without understanding why you are doing it is a makeshift solution to attracting and succeeding with women. By just memorizing a few pick up lines, you’re cheating yourself out of really learning how to attract women. My book has hundreds of powerful things to say to women. But these are only examples to help you learn the skills needed for attracting women. My belief is that people learn from a combination of explanation and examples. If you ever purchase a product on attracting women that only gives you explanations but no examples or examples – think pick up lines – but no explanations, you are being cheated – big time!

My book takes you through hundreds of real world examples and painstakingly breaks down the structure and purpose of these examples. If you put forth the effort studying my book, you will never have to memorize another person’s pick up lines or material again. Because you will understand the underlying structure behind generating attraction with women, allowing you to come up with your own material and lines. So if you haven’t picked up my book, do today!

http://www.realworldseduction.com

**********************************************

Swinggcat responds to your emails:

Comment:

Hi Swinggcat,

Just to say BIG "thank you" for the amazing stuff you write – your posts, your book, the ideas….
I’m still using your challenging and qualifying stuff without any significant changes and it works like a CHARM.

I think that you invented the formula all we need. Your system is really something completely new – as you say it is “swinggcat”. And now my request: If you supply us with MORE of this kind of REAL-LIFE examples/stories you will PUSH the things much, much further in the right direction. I think what the guys really need is more of REAL seduction examples and less theory. (Please don’t think that I’m an advocate of the Outer Game thus ignoring the Inner one).

If I try to explain the principles of the internal combustion engine by the laws of physics and chemistry it will take me a lot of time to draw the picture…however if I show you a short movie how it works without much explanation …you will get the picture almost instantly…

And this is how your stuff works with women - INSTANTLY. When I run your method on a woman she starts looking amazed and in disbelieve, looses control and composure…and after awhile has no choice but surrender…

It’s Very similar with the seduction process provided that you have some basic understanding…

The guys need the connection between something real in their mind(your real-life stories) and the reality in which they operate and they want to shape.

I have collected almost everything. I'm very well acquainted with all the seduction theories, methods systems...etc currently existing and have to admit that your system looks like mount Everest compared to the rest ..

I consider it like a new religion and keep in mind that thousands and thousands of guys out there are awaiting your new fantastic real-life stuff… so please keep up the good work and God bless you, MAN…

- A From California

My Comments:

Wow! – I’m glad you are having success using the material from my book. I know what I teach works because it has worked for me amongst many others.

You were successful because you took the time to master the techniques in my book – and I applaud you for that. I think the success you are starting to taste is something that is attainable to many other guys, if they only took the time to master these techniques.

About Real World Seduction/Swinggcat Method being a Religion: Well, in no way do I consider what I teach a religion. I am just some guy who has a lot of experience with women. And, at least I feel, has figured some things out about them that others haven’t.

Then again – maybe if I turn it into a religion I can get a nice tax break!

Comment:

Maybe I'm being a bit premature here, since I have not had a chance to use your stuff yet (I just received it less than 24 hours ago and spent my nightshift at work reading the bulk of it), but your SH -T is SWEEET!!!

I was skeptical about ordering your eBook because I've ordered a few seduction manuals in the past (3 to 5 especially over the past 21/2 months) and I've gotten very minimal results.

Now don't get me wrong...some of the other manuals that I've ordered I think have some merit to them; They have their own terminology which is pretty much equivalent to your stages of Attraction. But, where I have failed in the past in getting these women over these past several months is, I think, at the attraction and close stage.

I have consistently had all the girls that I've set up a date – sorry, meeting with - flake on me (A few of them whom I’ve been acquainted with for a few months or so, and one which I thought was in the bag, as early as yesterday…Can you believe that mutherf – ckin’ SH -T!!!). A lot of the other manuals, in my opinion do not give great concrete examples or examples to work with.

My problem is with the Attraction stage. I can never get them to follow through on their commitment to meet up with me. If I could do that, then I think I could fumble my way through a successful close or non-successful close; but I need the experience of getting past that Attraction stage so I will eventually, no doubt in my mind, become successful at closing these women; My efforts are always frustrated coming out of the starting block.

Reading your examples of Prizing, with the Sub-Headings consisting of:

1. Open Loops
2. Pushing & Pulling
3. Revealing & Concealing
4. Undermining

And then following up with Qualifying & Challenging, is wicked to the point of Evil!!! I feel a sense of renewed hope in succeeding at the Attraction Stage (My personal weak point), and I can’t wait to try them out!
Whether It’s your system by itself, or using it in conjunction with other systems (which I aforementioned earlier, is meritorious in their own way), I am confident that I, and any other User will kick ASS!!!
Sorry for the long email. I felt inspired at this moment to write it, and anything less than what is presented would do you, the reader, and me any injustice if the full background story was presented.
Anyway, Thanks again, and I will keep you updated on my future successes.

- Ray from Canada


My Comments:

Thank you for the compliments. Now go out and start getting the success you deserve.

Question:

First off I just want to say I have been reading your book, and although I am not finished yet, the information in it so far has been awesome. Your book fills in the holes that others left out. Instead of giving vague references on what to do, you spell it all out in detail. I have come to a point where I am no longer taking things personally; but now that I can get a number fairly easily I have come to another stumbling block. I find that even though I may ask for an email the woman will say, "no, here take my number instead", so now I'm thinking cool. But, when I call these women they don't return phone calls or act cold and standoffish, the opposite of how they were in person. Am I missing something? I cannot see myself as being the PRIZE if the woman already has the power because I'm calling her, and she can act rude, ignore, or not even return calls (the woman has already established the frame/meta-frame). In a way she forces a man to chase her. I know I have read books that say persistence, but when is enough enough. Is there another way?

I think this is a very important question that most men have trouble with. Thanks in advance for your help.

G in Texas

My Comments:

Your doing awesome. I really, though, need more info to answer your question. How long are you waiting to call these women? As a general rule DON’T wait too long to call her. Calling too soon can make you look needy, but waiting too long is usually worse. If, for example, you met and generated attraction with a woman five days ago, she has probably already interacted with several guys who she also was attracted to since that day. My point: Five days is an eternity in her world in which you have probably been long forgotten, my man. Since I have been doing this stuff for awhile, and I can leave quite an impression on women, I call when I feel like it. Remember: agonizing over whether or not a woman sees you as the PRIZE, is a form you chasing her – of her being the PRIZE in the interaction. Not caring what a woman thinks of you can be very powerful!

Also, as I said earlier in this newsletter, women sometimes have jamais vu. Even if when first meeting them you manage to generate the emotion in them of wanting, chasing, and reaching for more of you, by the time you talk to them on the phone this emotion might be long gone and forgotten. So you have to reignite this emotion in them. I have ways of doing this. Maybe I’ll do a whole newsletter on countering jamais vu.

The other possibility is that there is plenty of attraction there, but that women don’t feel comfortable enough to take that call to action with you. There are a lot of guys who can generate attraction with women but fail to create the comfort, allowing her take action.

A caveat: Making a woman comfortable is less about using particular lines or strategies and more about feeling comfortable in your own skin and with women, believing that you deserve beautiful women, taking a strong lead, and assuming that she wants to do what you want her to – be it having sex with you, having a threesome with you, going on a date with you…or whatever. In fact, most of the available lines and strategies used to make women feel comfortable taking action either end up making women feel more uncomfortable or kill the attraction all together if you have not mastered the aforementioned things. So if you want to be more than the cheesy guy in the bar who has a couple good memorized lines and become the sort of man women not only feel attraction towards but want to be around, pick up my book today.

http://www.realworldseduction.com

'Till next time,

Swinggcat

P.S. – I recently started an affiliate program where I am giving high commissions on sales generated by my affiliates. Also, if you are approved as an affiliate, you get free products. So, if you have been enjoying my book and newsletters, and you run a website where you think your visitors would be interested in my book, sign up for my affiliate program. http://realworldseduction.directtrack.com

P.S.S.-If you have a success story you would like to share, or a question you would like to ask, or a comment you would like to make, please email me at:

swinggcat@realworldseduction.com

Include the fist initial of your first and last name. And include the country, state/province, and city you live in.
This whole "learning" thing goes both ways, you know! Oh, and be sure not to just hit "reply" to this email, because I won't get it!


Thanks!

______________________________________________
Copyright 2004 Superior Living Inc. All rights reserved.
Swinggcat and RealWorldSeduction are trademarks of Superior Living Inc.
Posted by LC at 10:07 AM