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Online Personals & Dating Services Network
All about dating services business, online personals websites, changes in overall e-commerce world affecting dating, matchmaking, mail-order brides and online personals websites. Most recent LoveCompass announcements, reports, and plans. 

January 31, 2005

7 Secrets to Winning the One You Want!

Have you ever felt frustrated trying to get the one you want to want you back? Have you ever felt like the cause was hopeless and there's just nothing you can do to win their heart'

Such frustrations are common. All human beings are subject to them and while there is no way to completely avoid them there is a way through them to success. The way requires a basic understanding of those principles that motivate the human heart in the first place, and a patient application of those principles in the second.

If you will systematically apply those principles in a rationally thought out strategy which has been determined ahead of time, you will ultimately reap the rewards of your efforts.

Applying the principles is up to you, but today I would to share with you a few truths relating to love and romance:

"In Love" is a form of dependency. Therefore, if you want someone to be in love with you, you will have to make up your mind to meet their emotional needs so that they can grow dependent upon you. This includes hundreds of hours of listening to them while they talk and you, for the most part, are just attentively silent.

People are attracted to independence and repulsed by those who seem to cling. Therefore, to avoid scaring off a potential love you must throw in a lot of apparent aloofness while trying to win them. If you think this may confuse the one your want about your real intentions, you're right. Sorry, but that's just the way it needs to be in the early stages of romance.

People want what they can't have.

Therefore, you have to hold back form giving yourself completely to the one you want at the first indications they're starting to become attracted to you. Instead of giving the dog the whole steak at once, feed it to him/her one bite at a time, over an extended period of time.
I'm speaking here of deeply shared feeling and your valuable time. These should be rationed out. As to sexual involvement, that should be withheld until after the marriage vows, or you'll reduce their incentive to get there. Why buy the cow when the milk is free'

People's conscious decisions are really subconsciously motivated. Therefore, don't be too concerned by what the one you want says they think they want, or acts like they think they want. You just determine to act on principle and eventually they'll realize that what they really want is you.

People are most drawn to a person with a positive and confident self-image. Therefore, resist the temptation to spill your feeling of self-doubt. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than somebody who insists on bursting your bubble and destroying the image they want to have of you.

People's attitudes are really a reflection of what you think of them. Therefore, while not wearing your heart on your sleeve, you must still prove though your actions that your friendship to them is a committed one. This takes time.

The longer a relationship grows, the stronger it becomes. Therefore, if you mess up along the way, take comfort in the fact that tomorrow is another day, and the fact that you prove you have lasted and learned from yesterday's hardship, will in itself add to their feelings of commitment to you in the long run.
Posted by LC at 10:33 AM | TrackBack

Getting Noticed

It's all about getting noticed! Here are a few tips to get the most out of flirting or dating online:
Your Profile
Think about it - if you were going out to hoping to meet someone, chances are you'd take a bit of time to dress up or down depending on your style and the type of person you'll be looking to meet. The same goes for your online profile.

The old saying about first impressions was never truer than now online; you may only have a few seconds to make the right impression. So take a while to get it right. Most importantly, be honest. If you claim to be Arnie in The Terminator and turn out to be a stand-in for Mr Bean, chances are you'll not be off to a great start.

Let's look at the basics:

Your Screen Name and Profile Headline
Choose something that says something about you and possibly the type of person you'd hope to get in touch with. If you call yourself JacuzziBabe, don't be surprised when you get hundreds of messages from guys not interested in 2.4 kids, a dog and station wagon. However, if you're after a bit of bubbly fun, then you're spot on.

Your Profile Content
You'll notice that most questions have the option of not being answered. Think about those that you leave blank. You may prefer not to answer a specific question (your religion, for example) but leaving some others (say, eye-colour) tends to just look like a sloppy profile. When it comes to the 'narrative' section, take some time over it. We can't all be Oscar Wilde, but a few well-written lines will go along way to getting noticed.

It's a fact: profiles with photos get much more attention. Choose photos that are clear and uncluttered. Ideally, use photos that have you as the only person in the picture to avoid confusion. Besides, your friends and family might not want to be published online, so respect their privacy.

Update Your Profile
Not getting the attention or responses you'd like? Review your profile regularly and update it every now and then. Keep it fresh!

A few simple ideas and you should be off to a flying start.
Posted by LC at 08:36 AM | TrackBack

Online Dating Safety

So you've taken the plunge and set up a profile online... (If you haven't, what are you waiting for!) What now? Sit back and wait for the messages to flow in, or go looking, the choice is yours. Whatever you choose to do, here are a few practical guidelines to think about.

Flirting and dating on-line is no different to doing it off-line, just a lot safer and easier if you do it right. Most of the 'rules' are common sense. Your mother was most probably right - you just don't have to admit it.

Create The Right Impression Make sure your profile is not misleading. Give the wrong idea and you'll be sure to get the wrong response or no responses at all.

Think About What You Say When contacting another member for the first time or responding to a message, think about it. As tempting as it may be to walk up to a stranger at a party and place a hand on their sexy butt, chances are you wouldn't. So don't do it online, unless of course there is a large sign that says 'Touch Me!'

Personal Details The greatest thing about being online is the safety and privacy it affords you. Just be careful! When you start corresponding with people don't give out your personal details too early. Build up a sense of mutual trust first. Keep your last name, telephone number, email address, place of work and exact family details private until you are ready to share them.

Don't be Pushed Watch out for people pressing you for your personal details too early and too often. Also, hang back on meeting off-line until you are ready.

Inconsistencies Keep an eye out for changes in content and style in the messages you receive. If Mr Loving Kindness suddenly starts sounding like Carlos the Jackal on testosterone it may be an idea to back off or move on.

Meeting Off-Line This is the big one! You mailed each other, chatted and are ready to take the plunge and meet for real. Whilst taking your brother from the commandos with you may ensure your safety, chances are your date may get nervous, or prefer him to you!

Make your first few meetings in public places, ideally at lunchtime if you can. If you have a mobile phone take it with you and possibly take a pre-arranged call. Tell someone where you are going and try to have plans for after your date - don't be caught out with "so what are you doing after dinner?". Have your answer ready. Don't give out your home or work address and don't give in to pressure.

And guys, all this applies to you to. The chances of being taken for a ride by women may be less, but don't discount it.

Most importantly, relax, have fun and keep things safe.
Posted by LC at 08:25 AM | TrackBack

January 29, 2005

Dating After a Divorce or Break Up...


Will I Learn To Date Again?
After a divorce, many people are worried about starting to date again. It is common for individuals to feel like starting over is helpless. Others ask themselves, "would someone really want me?" To this I suggest that you take some time to make yourself the best you can be. Work on improving your own self and self-esteem. Do things that lift you up and make you feel more confident. Once you have done this you will be more prepared to start dating. Dating requires confidence in self.

Dating During A Divorce
Q: How long should I wait to date someone who is going through a divorce?

A: Going through a divorce is a difficult thing to do. Often people who quickly jump into relationships--during a divorce are not ready for to deal with a new relationship. They will try to, because they want to feel wanted and needed. However, it is important for them to deal with their past, and resolve any issues before moving on. I don't think there should be a time frame on healing from a divorce. However, I do think that a relationship after dating should be taken slowly and carefully.

One caution I would offer is that you don't get caught between the person you are wanting to date and their soon to be ex-spouse. In general, it is not wise to date someone until their divorce is over. This can prevent you from unknown issues and problems with ex-spouses, children, potential in-laws, etc.--

It is also to watch out for someone who wants to date you and is pressuring you into a quick marriage or relationship. This is a "red flag." It is always wise to take your time and get to know someone in many situations before you get too serious in a relationship.

Take Your Time
After going through a divorce many people feel lonely and desire the companionship of someone. All too often individuals in this situation find someone who will give them a little attention and loving. Unfortunately, this type of relationship is built on a weak foundation. Therefore, I suggest to people who are just ending a marriage to take their time. Rushing into a new relationship, all to often leads to the same kind of a marriage that was just ended.

Will Anyone Ever Find Me Attractive?
Sometimes after we have been through a divorce we feel like no one could find us attractive. Often this occurs because our previous spouse was abusive and told us that we weren't attractive. If you have bought such a line, I suggest that you step back and look at what you have to offer. An ex-spouse may have told you that you would never find someone, but don't believe it. If you work to make yourself the best you can be, then you can go forward with confidence in who you are.

These after divorce dating tips provided by:
Posted by LC at 10:35 AM | TrackBack

Have Fun on your Date, don't just

10 Tips For Frugal Daters

You have found a possible soul mate, but now you are worried of the cost of the whole wooing process because you’re on a thrifty budget. Well, do not fret over it because there are alternative ideas. It is possible to date with little or no cash flow and it can allow you to be creative while having a frugally fun time.

1.Do some star gazing at a local college observatory. It is open to the public during the school year and it’s absolutely free.

2.Feel one with nature. Have a picnic and explore a state or national park (admission is typically under $10 or free).

3.See a music laser show at a planetarium for around $6.00.

4.Check out a poetry reading or other events at a bookstore. Sometimes snacks or beverages are provided.

5.Create a food themes night and cook each other a dinner and appetizer at home.

6.Check out local arts festivals, craft fairs, flea markets or antiques fairs. Admission is typically under $10.

7.Attend a beer or wine tasting. At less than $10 each, you get more buzz for your buck!

8.Swing is back. Take a dance lesson and tear up the dance floor with the hottest moves. Often, the first lesson is free.

9.Attend a student art show. Often the shows are free and refreshments follow.

10.Rent your favorite movies or see a Pay Per View movie for under $10.

Posted by LC at 10:25 AM | TrackBack

Dating expert Carolyn McKline trawls through the oodles of dating tips available and compiles her practical advice for real people


Speed Dating can be a great and easy way of meeting available people in your area, but the nature of this beast requires a little extra attention to detail. From the goodness of my heart (plus a paltry commission) I’ve compiled some guidelines to help you get the most from your evening. I even put it in a nice easy to read list so no excuses!
  • 1. Use your flirting techniques- if you’re interested let them know! Eye contact, the occasional friendly touch and using the date’s name often are useful tools. Unless you really want them probably best to stay clear of licking your lips suggestively!
  • 2. Have a number of stock questions ready. Five minutes may not seem a lot but there is nothing worse than drying up.
  • 3. Dress well (and this applies to men too!) Speed Dating tends to attract the fashionable and well groomed.
  • 4. Observe basic safety guidelines when meeting matches. Meet in a public place, tell a friend where you are going, don’t give out your home address to easily. In other words, USE YOUR COMMON SENSE!
  • 5. Use the break and “after dating” times to chat and meet. If you fluffed your lines during your scheduled date, don’t be scared to make an approach later for a second chance.
  • 6. Be careful what you eat, particularly if food is served during the dating. Is your date likely to enjoy the sight of you gorging on noodles? Probably not. Stick to simple, non-spicy food you can share.
  • 7. Relax. Research has proven that over anxiety in potential partners is one of the 3rd biggest turn off for women and the 5th for men.
Do not:
  • 1. Tell lies! Might seem like a good idea at the time, but how long could you pretend to be a brain surgeon/dolphin trainer/ballerina for if you met again?
  • 2. Have unrealistic expectations. Speed Dating can be a great way of meeting available people in a short space of time but it may be unrealistic to expect a string of dates on the back of the evening.
  • 3. Forget to fill out the Speed Dating cards after each rotation. There is nothing worse than getting to the end of the night and pondering that special person with the wonderful eyes and thinking: “Now what was their name?”
  • 4. Use excessive swearing. This is often a big turn off for both sexes.
  • 5. Talk overtly on controversial topics. Of course you don’t want to be completely bland, but think about it- would you really like to listen to your rant on Israel’s conduct in Palestine ?
  • 6. Be tempted to give your personal contact details on the evening. Might seem like the most natural thing in the world at the time but email contact is safer, and more fun, to start with.
  • 7. Get blind drunk. You can imagine it- the music pumping, the lights down low, meeting a string of attractive, unattached strangers…and you flat out on the floor telling the nearest person: “I love you, I’ve always loved you…” Watch those matches fly in. Not.
Posted by LC at 10:04 AM | TrackBack

Do you Want to be a Good Guy or a Bad Guy ?

Listen, it all depends on what you want, if you want sex than you need to be a bad guy and never be emotional, but if you want love and if you want a girl to be honest with you when she tell's you how much she loves you, than you need to be a good guy!

Bad Guy's = Get Sex, and nothing more... they are being used.... and after sometime these popular bad guy's with all the chicks become alcoholics or addicted to drugs, do to the depression that naturally comes when being used by chicks without feelings... ( Believe me I've seen this happen many times to the most popular men! )

Good Guy's = Get less sex, but are more happy... because they know that someone somewhere is thinking of them everyday... Also having sex with someone you love, feels like you're having sex with 100 women alltogether you get maximum orgasm!

Our life on earth is a journey, where we are allways in the search of the questions we cannot seem to answer and all the unanswered questions keeps making us feel as if we only exist and die into nothingness, it can feel at times as if we were never born and only dream this life, which can make our stay on earth very lonely!

There has only been one thing proven to mankind which can beat the lonelyness forever, and it is LOVE my friend, just find it and you will feel it!

So how do you know if you have found "TRUE LOVE" well if you date a girl and the tears from your eyes starts to fall as soon as you look deep inside her eyes or as soon as her gentle skin touches you, then this is love and when you're not with her you will see her beautiful eyes where ever you look, and you will be so afraid, afraid that you might someday loose the one you love, so all you will be wanting to do will be to hold on tight to her and keep whispering in her ears how much you love her!

This feeling is what I call = To Feel Heaven here on earth!

But be warned my friend....
Before you jump into true love, make sure you can survive if something goes wrong...

If the one you love someday tells you that she doesn't love you anymore or she goes away, you will feel the greatest of all pains, it will feel as if you had to die to survive....

The Joy Love brings is the greatest joy of all, and the sadness is the worst you can feel....

If you ask me this is a risk I would take, after all do you really know how much time you got left here on earth ?

Thankyou for reading my friend I'm allways here to help my fellow human beings, may God Bless.

Women Will No Longer Be a Mystery!

For most women, it seems we hit a soft spot. In taking on this project our purpose wasn't to put women down, or to put them in check; instead it was to explain in-depth the fronts that many women unconsciously put up, the emotional processes that motivate their actions towards you, how to play off their emotional processes to make them think you're the man, how to recognize the signs of a girl that's leading you on, and then how to make her fall for you when you do.

This is absolutely THE DATING GUIDE TO END ALL DATING GUIDES. Women nowadays have a lot of attitude, and if you're a single guy there's a lot you need to know if you want a relationship, or just a one night affair. The truth is, women like the attention they get from guys, and that's why many of them go from one to the next. You have probably seen this for yourself. Susie Homemaker is a thing of the past. Many of today's young women are manipulative and scandalous and most guys have found out the hard way.

Make Your Dreams Come True!
Posted by LC at 08:18 AM | TrackBack

January 28, 2005

Dating Tips

... A Date

Two people organizing to meet, and partake in some sort of activity together. Such as going to dinner, having drinks, going to a dance club, going to the movies or a theatre production, going to a sports event.


To go on a date with someone more than once can be considered dating. Not limited to just one person, some people will be dating a couple of people at the same time.

Seeing someone

Same as dating. Usually you have gone on dates, met a few times just to talk to each other, and possibly even spent the night at each others houses.

Dating Exclusively

Dating only one person exclusively. A more serious relationship then just casual dating, becoming an official couple.

Blind date

Two people meeting for a date, who have never met before. Usually organised by mutual friends. Also known as a "Set Up".

Long Distance Relationship

When two people seeing each other exclusively live in different towns, cities, states, or even countries. The LDR can work if both parties are both extremely devoted to each other, and are willing to make sacrifices for the relationship.

Dating Rules - Do's

  • Always try to look your best and be on time for your dates.
  • Remember to have fun! Although finding Mr or Miss Right may be a serious issue for you, dating is suppose to be fun.
  • Flatter or compliment your date. Chances are they spent just as much time getting ready as you did, and its nice to hear praise for your efforts.
  • Be interested in what your date has to say.
  • Be honest with your date if you are not interested in seeing them again. Keeping their hopes up is a horrible thing, and you would hate to be lied to, so just tell them. In the nicest way possible.
  • Date the kind of people that you like and are attracted to, and forget about what type of person your friends like. Their approval proves nothing.
  • Stay positive even if your dates don't end well. We all have to date a few frogs before we find our prince, and who knows, you might make some great friends and contacts along the way.
  • Be proactive in the search for a date. You can't expect people to come knocking on your door, so get out there and meet some people. Be friendly to everyone and practice your flirting.
  • Surround yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Good friends assist each other in dating and romantic matters. Negative friends who disapprove of the dating scene or are not part of it, will only bring you down.

Dating Rules - Don'ts

  • Don't call someone more than once a day, unless they reply. Desperation is a huge turn off.
  • Don't repeat the same mistakes and date the same kind of people.
  • Men should never ever be late for a date, as chivalry is NOT dead and a woman should not be kept waiting and have to seat herself.
  • Don't lie to your date, or pretend to be something you are not. If things work out, having to confess a lie down the track could ruin things.
  • Never be available all the time. Keep a little mystery about yourself, and be interesting and not always available.
  • Don't tell everything about yourself from the start. Keep a little mystery about yourself, and your date will be left hanging for more.
  • Don't check out other people when you are on a date. No matter how subtle you think you are, chances are they will notice and it is just plain rude.
  • Don't get drunk on a date. You'll end up saying something you shouldn't.
  • Don't trust anyone until you get to know them. Think about your safety. Carry a mobile phone with you, tell your friends where you will be, and have your first dates in public places.
  • Don't give out too much personal information on the first date. Wait until you are sure of you date before giving your phone number and home address.
  • Don't have sex on the first date if you want to continue dating them.
  • Don't date a married person. If they are serious, they will leave their partner before pursuing another person. If you are married, separate first. If you are single, remember you deserve much better.
Posted by LC at 03:00 PM | TrackBack

Online Dating - 8 Sizzling Tips To Make Your Profile Standout!

We know one of the hardest part of creating your profile is describing yourself to others.

Following are some time tested nuggets that can assist you in creating a compelling & attention grabbing profile.

Honesty is the Best Policy

As the saying goes, honesty is the best policy. Honesty is taken seriously at Dating and it's the single most important thing to remember when writing a great profile. It's much easier to write about yourself if you are honest about who you are. It prevents you from having to spin ways to best sell yourself or guess at what you think other people want to read.

A major part of being honest is not misleading people down the road. People will assume that what you write is true � and you don't want to set people up for a surprise later by stretching the truth in your profile. For example, if you hate mountain climbing, don't say you love it just to grab the eye of an outdoorsy type.

Give Some Thought Of What Sets You Apart.

How are you different? What gives you your unique character? If your friends were describing you, what would be the three things they would all say about you? These are good questions to ask yourself as you get ready to write your profile.

Put Your Negativity Aside

Often times, people start their ad off with, �I�m sick of � !�, � I�m tired of�!� or � I hate Brunette�!� etc. It�s advisable not to include this as the first thing that you want to express in your profile ad. It just gives the impression of too many unhealthy relationships in the past. Instead, try to be more positive & upbeat in your profile. Soon enough you will notice a leap in the response rate.

Stay Open & Be Conversational.

Leave formality at the door and write your profile like you are talking to a good friend. Of course, there are some things you might tell a good friend that you probably don't want to include in your profile. It's a good idea to avoid mentioning past relationships and exes, or discoursing on being lonely or desperate. Be optimistic!

Show How, Don't Tell.

The best profiles show, don't tell, who you are at your best. If you are known for being funny, try explaining how or why you are funny - such as, "I've been known to show up to a party in a wig", instead of "I have a good sense of humor." Paint a picture in their minds of the kind of person you are.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

The importance of this point can�t be emphasized more. Your smile, the background that you're photographed in, what you're wearing; they all paint a picture of what you're truly like. And including a recent photo will get you 800% the attention.

Updating Your Profile Often.

Keep your profile fresh. Every now and then, go back to your profile and update it to let people know you're still out there.

Go Through Your Spelling & Grammar.

Check your profile for typos and spelling mistakes before you submit it. Show that you spent time thinking about them while writing your profile. Always proofread your ad & run it through a word processor, such as Microsoft Word so that you can have your spelling & grammar checked.

by: Amanda Lee
Posted by LC at 02:51 PM | TrackBack

Nice Guys Finish Last


Besides being the title of a catchy 90’s pop song, the phrase “nice guys finish last” is invariably proven on a regular basis by jerks like me. You may not know me, but I’m sure you know someone like me- loud, aggressive, and wholly unfit to hold a relationship. However, I still seem to get my fair share of attention from the ladies, and you are left scratching your head in bewilderment. Don’t worry you nice guys, it really isn’t your fault.

Back in the day, and I’m talking when we humans were hunter gatherers hunting wooly mammoths, relationships were a lot like what you’d see on Animal Planet. If two of us males were out hunting, and we came across a beautiful woman, whoever got her first would sling her over his shoulder and lumber off into the sunset, even if it meant beating you in the head with my club. Once I had impressed them with my ability to protect them, I had immediately sealed the deal.

Ok, so you don’t live in a cave (Unless you live in the basement) but you can still learn a valuable lesson here. People, not just women are attracted to power, and to status. While you may lack bulging biceps, you might still have a stunning intellect, or a fat trust fund. Every person has a unique angle they can use to show that they are capable of being the provider for a woman, so make sure you play to your individual strengths. Also, remember we are talking long term strengths here, so don’t go bragging about how much you can bench press. No one cares, trust me. What you should do, is tell her you are planning to be the best bodybuilder in the world, or whatever line you can come up with.

I am living proof that you really don’t need money, good looks, or much else to successfully meet women. What I am very good at, and I do mean talented and super skilled, is being able to convey a message clearly. (Ok, my car and what not don’t hurt, but I keep that on the DL as much as possible). Be like the ape on Animal Planet, beat your chest and show off what you got, because if you don’t every other ape in the jungle is going to anyways so get in the game.
Posted by LC at 02:46 PM | TrackBack

January 27, 2005

7 Tips for a perfect first date.

Going into the world of dating and “first dates” can be intimidating, especially if you are coming off of a long single hiatus. Most likely, you were in a long term relationship that ended abruptly, and now you are lonely, tired of looking at internet porn, and lacking the confidence to get back out there and meet someone new. Even if you can’t even recall your last first date, if you follow these simple rules, you should come out on top. (Subtle?)

The 7 Steps that make for a great first date.

1. Don’t be stinky. No one likes either of the two extremes, so make sure you take it easy on the perfume and or cologne, and avoid aftershave- not only will it dry out your skin, but you’ll also smell like her Grandpa.

2. Be on time. I’m not suggesting you order up an atomic clock or anything, but be respectful of your time and your dates as well. The night before a big date, I’ll lay out what I’m going to wear, and plan the entire date out on a post it note, which really cuts down on the stress of the big evening. If you are running late, take the 38 seconds it takes to make a phone call- saving yourself an embarrassing moment.

3. Avoid talking about other people you’ve dated like it was Ebola. Look, everyone knows you are hurting, but that is why God invented Prozac and whiskey. No one cares about your heartache except for you, and by talking about your ex all the time, you will make it clear to your new hopeful that you aren’t over them yet. If you really want to dwell in the past, do it alone.

4. Look Presentable. “Yes Captain Obvious everyone knows you should dress up for a date.” Unfortunately for your unmatching ass, you can’t tell the difference between wool and tweed. (Ha fashion joke!) As Allah says, there is no second chance at a first impression, so make sure your socks match, you have a belt on, and your underwear is clean. As a fashion retard, I just go to the mall, see what everyone else is wearing, and copy it. You aren’t in school anymore, so cheat away. Besides, she may start thinking of you as arm candy, and want a little treat for later.0000.jpg

5. Be yourself. The NO-SHIT alert is going off, because this little rule is often overlooked. Don’t try to suddenly become and expert in Tibetan cave painting just because she is. Instead take the time to appreciate your dates depth of knowledge, and try to learn a thing or two. Also, you are not me, so don’t try to pull the same shit I do. When it comes to dating, I’m like Lebron James- tons of talent, developing my skills. So why you may lack my crossover tomahawk jam, you probably posses a fundamentally sound bank shot that I may never take the time to learn.

6. Shut up and listen. No one likes a date that rambles on to fill dead space in a conversation, so take some time out to catch your breath and listen for a minute. This rule is especially important if your date is shy, as they tend to be easily overwhelmed, and may end up having an awful time because of your verbosity. As another reminder, try and avoid highly controversial topics, unless you are a spokesman for PETA or something.

7. Don’t get nervous. If you find yourself feeling a little on edge, order a drink and sink into the lovely haze that is intoxication. While you are at it, order the same for your date, but make it a double. Just remember- both of you are on a first date, and most likely will be nervous and apprehensive. If you want to break the nervous barrier, maintain eye contact when you are talking as long as possible, even to the point of absurdity. If someone were to observe you from across a room, they ought to think you are engaged in some form of hypnosis. Without explaining the science, remember to maintain eye contact, and thank me later.

The final tip to remember is please- don’t try to close the deal on the first date. Consider the first date an interview for a second date, at which time you can get your nasty on.
Posted by LC at 12:03 PM | TrackBack

10 Key Things Every Person Must Know About Dating

Dating, both online or off, can be scary and frustrating. Before jumping into some crazy fling with Pepe’ the gardener, follow these ten tips to help get you off (hehe get you off) to a good start.

1. Be Confident
Confidence, confidence, confidence! And then, repeat it about 10 more times. Nothing is more attractive than a person who is confident in their own skin. Once you are happy in your own skin and self-fulfilled, you will attract the matches you deserve, not just the ones you settle for. So relax and be your genuine self. If not, tell them you are “Dan O’Leary” and hope for the best.

2. Be Interesting
Read the newspaper and know what’s going on in the world. Current events are great conversation starters. Interesting conversation will attract others to start talking to you. I would recommend steering clear of the weather, sports, and politics however. Remember- Paris Hilton good, Israel and Palestine- bad.

3. Increase Your Chances
Don’t limit yourself by dating and approaching only one type of person. I like to pick up on plus size married Nascar fans, you know I’m just trying to keep life exciting. Seriously though, don’t pass on someone until you get to know them. Love happens at the most unexpected times with the most unexpected people- just ask Pepe’ the gardener.

4. Use Great Props
Never leave your home without a prop -a fluffy dog, kids (Should be your own), some cologne, a sweatshirt from your college, an interesting tie, or an interesting book. Whenever I go out, I have pictures on my cell phone of my dogs, my office, and places I’ve recently visited, making me seem significantly less likely to pull a Hannibal the Cannibal. When you meet someone, props can break the ice and help in starting up a conversation. On a related note, leave the dildo at home.

5. Network
Just as you network with your friends, colleagues and family for work, you can call on them to network for you on your dating quest. One of my favorite ways to network online is

6. Be Honest
Be yourself from the start. If you can’t be yourself, at least pretend to have a giant cock or something. However, most people can sense when you are not being 100% honest and it is a turn off and leaves people feeling weary of you.

7. Be Proactive
Go after what you want. You have nothing to lose by trying, so get out there. Let me say this one more time- nothing ventured, nothing gained.

8. Stay Positive and Have Fun
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Life can be a serious ordeal, and dating can often leave you feeling wornout and tired. (Yeah, boning all night can do that to you). My friend Mike always says, “A smile is the most attractive thing a person can wear”… idealist.

9. Start a Conversation
The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, or state an opinion. The worst opening line is, “I just got out of jail- wanna see my wiener?”

10. Be Patient
The first person (or second or third) you connect with may not be the right one for you (Ok, about 50 in my case). Have patience and realize that you may need to go home with a lot of fat uglies before you meet the person of your (wet) dreams.
Posted by LC at 11:36 AM | TrackBack

Why has internet dating become a great way to meet people from your town ?


ou live in Sydney ; you work in Sydney , but darned if you can meet a decent gal in Sydney that you’ve really hit it off with. Isn’t it funny how you just know there’s a city full of wonderful people out there just beyond the horizon that you’re never going to meet?

The sad fact is, most of the great people out there have run up against the same stumbling blocks to dating that you have. They’ve probably tried the bar scene and gotten tired of it or decided it just wasn’t all that safe. Maybe they’ve suffered through a few awful blind dates, too. So what is there left? You could keep your fingers crossed and hope you bump into someone special at the coffee shop on the corner, but the odds are against you.

That’s why internet dating is perfect – you can search for someone special right in your town and find out a little bit about them right from the beginning. With detailed profiles and criteria you can specify, internet dating can help you find people in Sydney (or Toowoomba or Melbourne…) who have lots of interests in common with you – and they could be just around the corner or across town.

In fact, you might have passed them on the street and never known it, but with internet dating you can safely email them and strike up a correspondence, chat, and get to know one another to see if you really click before you eventually meet. All without having to go to a bar or slog through another blind date!

Posted by LC at 11:30 AM | TrackBack

January 26, 2005


While Internet dating can open many doors for daters, you need to be smart and safe when meeting people online. Use these 5 Net SMART safety tips to protect your privacy.

In addition to these interviews, I personally tested 7 online dating sites, ended up with 4-7 dates/week and found my guy through an online matchmaker. You can also find love online.

When you search for love online, you need to be careful because not everyone has the same value systems. Be cautious when dealing with strangers and take precautions to shield your privacy at all costs.

While the flood of emails that you will receive from Internet dating can be a great ego boost, let these safety tips guide you through email, phone and live contacts.

1. Be Anonymous When Emailing

When you set up your Internet dating profile, matchmaking web sites will give you an account that allows you to stay anonymous. Avoid using anything that could identify you when you select your username or email address.
Set up an email account that is fun and anonymous. For example, if you have an email with your name in it, then do not use this account for online dating. Just figure out any kind of fictitious name or "handle." If you'd like, you can use an email address that reveals something about yourself such as a hobby or personal trivia. For example, my email address was tied to my interest in sailing (ex. One of my male candidates used "greeneyes" as his username, which helped him stand out in the crowd.

2. Take a Second Look at the Photos

If you are suspicious about the age of a photo that you see on an Internet dating profile, you might want to ask the person for a recent photo. Check out the response and you might just be surprised by what comes back.
One of my dating coaching clients recently sent me two photos of a woman he met online with very different current versus profile photos. He was smart to ask for a recent photo.

I also interviewed a woman for SMART Man Hunting who had a surprising lunch with a guy who did not look anything like his profile photograph. The online photo made him look around 35 with dark hair, and when she went on the date, the guy was completely gray and closer to 50-years-old. You want to avoid this situation if possible.

3. SMART Phone Contact

After several safe email exchanges, you can cautiously move to the next Internet courtship level. Arrange time to speak on the phone and see if the conversation flows or is a struggle.

Because you are still dealing with a virtual stranger, you should use safety guidelines for connecting on the phone. First, if you are a woman, ask for the guy's phone number and use Caller ID blocking (*67) when you call him so that your phone number is not revealed. You can even use Caller ID blocking on most cell phones so always try using *67 when placing first calls.

If you get to the point where you are comfortable giving out your phone number, use a cell phone or alternate number to your home phone. If someone is really creepy and has your home or work phone number, they can search for your address online using

Trust your gut instincts when you talk to someone on the phone. If someone makes you feel the least bit uneasy or puts you off in any way, just say Next. It won't get better if you meet in person. Remember there are plenty of other candidates out there. Next….

4. Continue to Put "Safety First" When Making Live Contact

When you decide to meet in person, pick a public place and make sure you are familiar with the area before you agree to the location (I skipped this research step and ended up meeting a guy in a restaurant that is in a Los Angeles gang neighborhood because I did not know the area - that mistake did not happen twice).

While you want to relax and have fun on your first date, you still need to play it safe. Meet your potential match at the rendezvous location--never rely on someone you don't know for a ride. Don't even accept a ride home even when you feel as though your date is on the up and up. If you drove, you also want to avoid allowing them to walk you to your car. It's best to even keep the make, model and license plate of your car a secret.
My favorite meeting place is a local coffee shop, but not one too close to your home. If you schedule a lunch or dinner date, use valet parking when possible so that the candidate, who is primarily a stranger at this stage, cannot follow you to your car when you leave.

As a back-up plan, you may also want to give your date details (time, date and location) to a friend. If you are nervous, ask a friend to call you on your cell phone to check-in during the date.

Lastly, hold your cards close to your chest. Be careful about the amount of information you share during these first meetings and phone calls. Never give out your last name or address until you are comfortable with someone's character.

5. Consider Background Checks

If you are curious, there are many ways to find out more about your potential mates. Internet search vehicles can help you find out details about candidates prior to meetings.

By searching on someone's name online, you can easily gather information about their background. For example, if you use, you might find out about their educational degrees, work history, and personal information (I found out about someone's marriage history and read a strange Valentine online from a guy's ex-wife that made me think twice).

You can also click on the "Groups" button to learn more about their interests or check genealogy sites for family history. And if you get serious with someone you meet online, you can even go to the extreme of hiring a professional investigator to check out their history more thoroughly.

You can make love happen online and protect your privacy. You are playing the dating numbers game and the odds are in your favor that you will find your match. Be smart, safe and trust your gut instincts when dating online.

by Liz H. Kelly
Posted by LC at 12:50 PM | TrackBack

Online Personals Are Cool


The musty print classified was never a great way to find a date. Most of the time, all it ever offered was a terse mumble of data: ''SWF, 26, brown eyes and brown hair.'' The online personal is completely different. The ''profile'' of someone looking for romance on a site can overflow with tantalizing information, as when a single woman named Lovebundlenyc reveals that her favorite books include Hunter S. Thompson's ''Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,'' the ''Jeeves Omnibus'' and that children's story about Ferdinand the Bull. Some people make strange, bold proclamations: ''I'm a smooth operator with great hands.'' Others use verbal wit to play with the conventions of the form: ''Unscrupulous Man Seeks Patsy,'' writes one online lonely heart.

Americans have fallen hard for the online personal. While other Internet businesses have been sputtering, online personals are a full-throttle success.

The bigger this pool gets, the more normalized (and less geeky) the process becomes. As with other online social behavior, early adopters had to battle the scary hype: Pedophiles are out there! Liars, creeps and dweebs! But when newlyweds on the Times weddings page casually mention their ''magical'' first e-mail exchange, you know the switch has flipped.

The popularity of online personals has tossed some interesting behavioral mutations into the dating pool. Because potential dates often engage in intimate e-mail before meeting, the first date is far less blind. But the very ease and anonymity of the initial experience -- the way you can browse at 2 a.m., zap a promising profile to a friend for feedback or change your profile or photo at any time -- also encourages social experimentation. This is a particular benefit for women, for whom flirtation with strangers in the wee hours has always carried greater risk. For both men and women, Internet dating may allow singles to make contact with dates outside their social circles. Online glances go beyond the crowded room of one's own insular demographic.

Pundits have denounced the gamelike quality of pointing and clicking at online profiles. And there's some truth to this: with the eBay ease of Internet romance, it's simple to continually dip back in, looking for an improved model. But then, is it really such a crime to make dating more fun?

By: Emily Nussbaum
Posted by LC at 09:23 AM | TrackBack

First Date Tips

Dating can be tough and first dates can be painful. So what are you to do? Here is a list of dating tips to start the year out right!

· Meet your date out and drive yourself. If you want to bail out early, you won't be trapped. Also, when you have your own car. If things work out, you won't have any worries about inviting your date in or not. This helps protect you from your own impulses, because what's worse then "will he respect me in the morning?" is "How much will I hate myself when I wake up?". Also when you have your own car, no need to worry about safety, your date does not know where you live. This protects you from a date turned bad turning in to a stalking nightmare.

· Keep the date simple. You're nervous enough without making a big show, plus you don't want to lock yourself in to an evening you won't enjoy.

· Men, end the date first. You will make yourself stand out.

· Women, don't wear anything low cut or short. It sounds like an old cliché but your first date knows very little about the woman you are. He will take you at face value and you don't want to give the wrong impression.

A friend of mine went out for dinner on a blind date. She is a very conservative women, who really likes to take her time in relationships. All of us who know her know this about her. Her date didn't. She went out on the date wearing a sexy low cut cocktail dress. They went to dinner, had a wonderful evening, and when he walked her to her door, he pounced on her! She was of course surprised and upset, but her date didn't know her, he just took her at face value.

· Wear clothing that you are comfortable and confident in. First dates are uncomfortable enough without a tight belt biting you around the waist.

· Men, be specific about where you are going. This will make the date more comfortable, and will prevent her from wearing a cocktail dress when you are taking her bowling.

· Ask about your date. Each of us knows we are the most interesting subject :) But the most interesting conversationalists are people who ask about others. Great light topics are work, hobbies, sports, kids (if they have any).

· Easy on the perfume. You want to knock his socks off, but you don't want to knock him out!

· Don't forget to use mouthwash before you go out.

· Don't order sloppy food. If you are not paying for what you order, try to stay in the middle of the menu.

· Keep the conversation light! Don't talk or ask about old boyfriends, girlfriends, or ex-spouse. This is a first date, not a therapy session.

· Find out about your dates eating habits before you plan the evening. Make sure you choose a place where they will be able to find something to eat.

· Be attentive! There is nothing worse then a date peering over your shoulder making you feel as if they are looking for something better.

· If you are not paying be considerate of what you order. Try to stay in the middle of the menu.

· And last, but not least, have fun and be yourself!

By Jennifer Klein,
Posted by LC at 09:02 AM | TrackBack

January 25, 2005

Blind Date by Lu Huskey

The phone rings at 3:00 Monday afternoon and it is your best girlfriend Jenny, inviting you to dinner next weekend. What a nice thought, until she tells you there is “this guy she just knows you’ll like”.

Do these “arranged situations” ever work out; these blind dates that well meaning friends and families attempt to arrange for all of us at some point in our lives? What do we have to lose anyway? Well, let’s just look at what happened when Jenny tried to do this favor for her friend Lisa!

It had been a long Monday for Lisa, and she was ready for a friendly voice on the telephone. When she heard from Jenny, it was the bright spot in her day. Little did Lisa know what an impact this call would have on her life for the next few weeks. Jenny invited her to a restaurant they had both been anxious to try out; a new little Italian place with red checked tablecloths, a real live violinist, and a tempting selection of wonderful foods and wines. This was just what she was needed to plan for to help her get through her week!

But wait, there’s a catch, and he has a name. Jenny knows this fellow named Bob who just moved to town and is a really nice guy. She thought it would be “fun” to do a double date Saturday night with Bob and his friend from work. It sounded harmless since they’ve both wanted to try out the new place, so Lisa accepted Jenny’s invitation and they both made plans to meet at Berelli’s Saturday night.

So far, these girls are doing the right thing by meeting these guys at the restaurant and not being picked up. They don’t know them very well and if for some reason, one (or both) need to duck out, neither will be stuck without wheels.

The weekend rolled around soon enough and Jenny and Lisa had taken a little trip the mall to shop for a couple of cute dresses and matching shoes. They helped each other with their hair that Saturday afternoon, and almost felt like young schoolgirls going out on their first date. In a way it was, for Lisa, since it was her first blind date. She had never done anything like this before, and although she was looking forward to being with her friend, she was a little hesitant about meeting this guy Bob. Anyway, it was just a dinner and that would be it.

They jumped into the car and drove over to Berelli’s, making sure they were “fashionably” late (but just 10 minutes), not to appear over anxious to their gentleman waiting. Bob and William had already gotten a nice table and ordered a bottle of wine, so the scene was set for a lovely evening. What a cute place this new little restaurant was! It looked like a page right out of Italy, with the tables set so beautifully, music filling the room, and Jenny even noticed a quaint little dance floor near the violinist for those who wished to become a little romantic. This was just what she needed, and Bob looked pretty good too. He had a nice smile, good looking suit, and pulled out her chair for her when she sat down. This man is right out of a storybook! Who ever said blind dates are a mistake anyway?

As the evening progressed, the couples seemed to enjoy each other’s company and all four were convinced Berelli’s was a dining experience that they would recommend to their other friends. Lisa was so glad that she decided to take Jenny up on her offer. Actually she had never tried blind dating until that night because of all the horror stories told in the past. She had heard tales of all sorts, and although they were true, perhaps they were exaggerated a bit. They planned another date the next weekend and Jenny hoped that her first blind date would be her last. Bob very well just may be the “Mr. Right” she had been waiting for.

Now that is the way a story should always go, with a happy ending; however, girls (and guys) beware of the blind date. Make sure you handle yourself in a manner that doesn’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of in any way, especially with wine flowing freely all night long. Many times if you have “let your guard down” you can find yourself in a situation you may not be able to handle. For example, if you are really attracted to someone and let him know it, he can sometimes get the wrong impression. It just is always a good idea not to be too friendly on first dates (and sometimes second and third dates) until you really get to know the person and you are certain he respects your wishes.

When employers hire new people, they many times do reference checks, and sometimes even background checks before they hire. You can do the same type of thing by making sure someone knows this person you plan to go out with and hopefully knows something about his past. The last thing you want is to fall in love with some guy or gal who ends up with the reputation of violence or some other seedy problem. These kinds of situations happen all the time. “But they would never happen to me…” we all believe; but they can, so we much be smart about where we go and with whom we go out with.

Lisa got lucky and met the man of her dreams, but unfortunately, that isn’t always the way it works. Thinking back to her story, she originally just planned to have a nice evening and things just happened to work out much better than she expected. Meeting new people is fun; just be sure and use good common sense and keep a safe distance until you know exactly what you are getting into.
Posted by LC at 10:16 AM | TrackBack

Comparative rating of the 10 most typical complexes of men and women

Women: 1. Extra weight.Men: 1. Small penis.
Mass media has done its black deed. Not absence of a good family, not career aspirations, not even success with men tops the list of women's worst phobias. Extra weight - that is what women fear most. Psychologists note that with many ladies this fear is so strong, that it crosses the line between reasonable corresponding to existing norms of beauty, and psychosomatic changes of the body. In which case not the result, but the process of becoming a nymphet comes to the forefront. The problem is that this has provoked an unseen outburst of anorexia and bulimia suffered mostly by young women and teenagers.On the contrary, this is the case lost by mass media to common wisdom, society stereotypes and other forms of popular obscurantism. The fact that every magazine - from glossies to specialized medical ones - insists on calling micropenis an organ less than 2 sm. in a non-erected state does not lessen the number of those willing to enlarge their genitalia. Proving to men that size in sex is not important is just as meaningless as proving to women how appetizingly sexy plumpness can be.
Men: 2. Low social status.Women: 2. Cellulite.
This is men's analogue of cellulite. The second place in the rating doesn't mean that absolute majority of men are homeless people or janitors. Boys' chorus, singing "I'm a looser, baby" consists of clerks, white collars, middle-level managers, etc. Those who know - theoretically - that to be a well-to-do member of society one has to have a platinum credit card, a covergirl for a girlfriend and a small castle with turrets for a home. And who start singing when reality hits them: covergirls and castles belong to their former D-grade classmate, now an oil magnate, while all the ambitious "black coats" have is annual financial reports and long-time perspective to move out of 2-bedroom apartment into a larger one.Unlike men, who are being constantly convinced that mind - not centimeters - is of greater importance, women firmly know that even the highest IQ will not make the "orange peel" skin more attractive. Hundreds of books have been written on the problem, including the ones suggesting how to fight it, although no scientist has yet clearly explained where it comes from. The most popular version shows cellulite as a consequence of too much estrogen in the body. What a paradox - "orange peel" is an inseparable companion of femininity. And an inexhaustible source of income for beauty parlors and psychoanalysts.
Women: 3. Fear of age.Men: 3. Fear of impotence.
Beauty industry applying revolutionary know-hows, cosmetic surgeons working wonders with faces and bodies, 70-year old movie stars looking younger than their granddaughters - none of this eliminates women's fear of becoming old and faded. Mostly these are women aged 30 to 50, used to taking care of their appearance. Specialists say age dictatorship has to be defeated on a psychological level. Probably when job offers are not limited by "age of 30 and less" or when stating date of birth in passport is outlawed.Fear of non-performance in bed - that is fear of being humiliated in front of a woman - is even worse than a good dressing down from the boss. Fiasco in bed is especially dangerous because it can ruin men's self-esteem even faster than a brick coming down from a skyscraper. Searching for the origins of the problem should start in the past. In most cases the reason is one of the very first unlucky sexual experiences, which pops up in the head at a most inappropriate moment. The fear of loosing one's masculine power is subconscious - the nature must once have decided that only extremely self-assured species with nerves of rope are worthy of leaving their genes in posterity.
Men: 4. Insufficient material well-being.Women: 4. Absence of success with men.
Money at present period of time has become the main symbol of one's virility, having ruled out even such values as intelligence and physical strength. Unfortunately, women are mostly very tactless in this matter, proving by their behavior that "rich can never be small". And although sociologists note constant growth of families where wife earns more than husband, this does not mean that all those husbands easily accept it. Men nowadays can afford living at the expense of their women, but to great detriment of their self-esteem.Flirting, love affairs and sex are the greatest entertainment presented to humankind by Providence. Being left out of this never-ending holiday is painful, hurting and humiliating. When lack of adoring fans reaches its critical level, woman's organism turns on every "defensive mechanism" existing in it: extreme diffidence, anguish and disgust for life finally turn into desire to change something. That means going to a boutique, beauty parlor or plastic surgeon for a different nose. The most advanced ones get rid of the "bluestocking" complex in a psychoanalyst's chair, also not unsuccessfully.
Women: 5. Frigidity.Men: 5. Fears about one's health.
Feminists have declared women's right to enjoy such creature comforts as suffrage, ability to be elected member of Parliament and cunnilingus. And sexologists proclaimed that women not only can, but must derive real pleasure from sexual games. Those who can't they call frigid, thus introducing into women's souls permanent disarray. In reality, cases of true frigidity are very rare. More often inability to derive pleasure from sex is just auto-suggestion or result of incongruity with one's partner.Who always suffers migraines, gets crazy about whitening one's teeth and spends every spare minute in a SPA-center? That's right. And who never ever goes to any doctor, but in one's heart of hearts constantly fears falling ill with something terrifying like St. Vitus's dance or stomatitis? Such fears are rather frequent visitors of the most healthy and reasonable males. Men are far less tolerant to pain. It might be connected with their much more fertile imagination
Men: 6. Getting bald.Women: 6. Fear of being "worse than others".
Although of course getting bald cannot compare with women's pangs about "follicular insufficiency" of cellulite, they still can gloat over this misfortune. How pleasant it must be to think about pathetic line of bald men in the hair transplant clinic, waiting to transplant hair from undue places! And television doesn't express its usual delicate approach - "baldness is so attractively aesthetic". Hair transplantation lobby must be much more influential than one could presume.Men are more interested in real achievements and victories, while women are more inclined to "seem" rather than "be". Women are more prone to suggestion, so they are more often guided by "public opinion". It can be stated that a woman's success is only seen in comparison. Even if her family life is a total mess, she will still dye gray hair every week and accept guests as a model mother and wife.
Women: 7. Fear of being alone.Men: 7. Impossibility of self-realization.
A megalopolis civilization - that is the actual name for the ugliness most of us are forced to live in - cultivates individuality and dissociation. Loneliness in a big city has long been declared a neurosis, subject to treatment. And women suffer of it much more frequently then men, and more painfully. For women - even if they are quite successful in business - can fully realize their potential only in the family, while men have other ways of realization. Lack of people a woman can care about, lack of family can provoke not only a neurotic dissonance, but consequences of a more harmful nature.As a rule hits a man at the age of about 40-45 and called "middle-age crisis". Women are more lucky - by this time most of them have already had one or more children. And men start soul-searching, and not only that. All achievements in life are scrupulously counted up and discounted as unsatisfactory. It seems that none of them correspond to the grandeur of starting possibilities. These calculations have nothing to do with real life. The most typical result of such "self-inventory" is desire to have a younger woman for a partner.
Men: 8. Femininity in behavior.Women: 8. Inability to reach orgasm.
Psychologists proclaim existence of double standard in social treatment of men and women. Men's behavioral model is considered to be a priori positive, that is why to be masculine for a woman is acceptable, while to be feminine for a man is disgraceful. Men conform to the situation and dread any display of femininity, the worst of them being tears (the supreme manifestation of womanhood) and habit of living at someone other's expense.According to statistical research, about 30% of women do not ever reach orgasm, which came to be considered a disease. In reality such data seems doubtful as research doesn't reveal the reasons for anorgasmic sex. The nature of the recently discovered phenomenon of women's orgasm is not so thoroughly explored as to be able to say why some women cannot reach it. So it is just as unclear why this phobia is at all in the rating of women's fears. It must again be the fault of the patriarchal society with its habit of accusing women of all vices.
Women: 9. Low intellect.Men: 9. Being short.
"I know only that I don't know anything" is the phrase once said by Socrates, still considered one of the brightest intellects of all times. So the ladies who think that their IQ level is not very high are not in the worst company in the world.It is common knowledge that being a short man has always been a most powerful stimulus for historical progress and life achievements. But it is also true that the height of most losers does not exceed 1,6 meters. So it must be the lack of brain, not centimeters ...
Men: 10. No sense of humor.Women: 10. Unsuccessful career.
Men are funny creatures. To suffer from not being able to make a good joke is almost as unreasonable as to suffer from not being able to reach orgasm. But only funnier.Women are interested in home, family and "what neighbors will say". Successful career is only a newcomer in the list of the successful woman's phobias - fear of not achieving anything career-wise in only about a decade old.

Posted by LC at 09:35 AM | TrackBack

How to make a good photo?


The main thing is to be natural and look relaxed. Your picture has to radiate openness, warmth, sexual appeal, approachability, but at the same time speak of confidence and self-respect. Generally speaking, to receive many letters your appearance has to be that of a "covergirl" - a bit mysterious and alluring. On the contrary, the most beautiful girls who look haughty don't get any correspondence at all. So you have to look amiable and friendly.

Almost all men using the services of marriage agencies experience certain difficulties in communicating with the opposite sex. This doesn't imply any psychological deviations, it is just that these men are more diffident than others. If a girl looks haughty and hard to approach, they will not even try to contact her.

An open and unrestrained gaze is vitally important for a good photo. Opened just a bit lips will impart your look with the necessary sexuality.

Another way to receive many responses to your ad is to show the brightest of your smiles. If your face is far from the generally accepted standards of beauty, a bright smile will make it more attractive. Ordinary girls with open smiles and quality make-up can look outright gorgeous in the picture.

Some women say that "smile doesn't fit them". That's untrue! Smile fits any face, the only thing that it has to be sincere and open, not forced. Think of something nice and funny, or someone you like - your kid, mother, or your friends. If you can't manage "Hollywood" smile, try semi-smile (so-called "Mona Lisa" smile). Try to avoid "crooked" smiles, they are very unattractive and scare potential partners away.

Relax, the photographer will not eat you. Tell him about the aim of your photo session - this will help you. You might feel a bit awkward telling about it, but he'll guess anyway. Knowing about the ultimate aim of the session will make it easier for him to "catch" the right moment when you look your best.

Remember that looking on the photo men try to guess your character. If you look amiable and friendly they decide that you are just like that in real life. If you look strained and detached (as most of us in front of the camera!), they decide that you are a tight-lipped pessimist.

And of course you have to look young, or at least youngish. It is common knowledge that men go crazy about 50-year old women with loose hair, taking no notice of younger women with up-done hair-dos. Your real age is no importance whatsoever. You have to look young, and that's that.

If you feel that your appearance "doesn't make it", add a little sexuality: uncover your hands and shoulders, cleavage, legs. Even if you know that you are not a beauty, looking sexy in the photo will help receive many letters.

Posted by LC at 08:24 AM | TrackBack

January 24, 2005

Dating Tips

Hints on how to make it hot...

Choose somewhere easy
Avoid crowded places on your first date so you can spot each other easily. Maybe wear something distinctive, although you'll probably want to avoid the carnations or silly hats.

Tell a friend
Always tell a friend where you are going, and meet somewhere public for your first date. It's also best to make your own way to and from the venue - don't get your date to pick you up. After your first meeting, if you don't feel comfortable, don't continue the relationship. Simple as that.

Don't break the bank
You don't have to flash your cash on a first date, so why not meet for a coffee or lunch? You can then decide if you'd like to spend more time and money on another date.

Go dutch
It's sometimes a good idea to agree to split the bill before your date, so you'll avoid any awkward situations when the plates have been cleared.

Be considerate
If you need to cancel a date, call the other person in good time.

Don't get disheartened
You might not meet the right person straight away - don't be disappointed. Relax, be yourself and most importantly, have fun. Every week we attract new advertisers and respondents.

Make it safe
Arrange meetings in public places, eg restaurants, pubs, etc, not in your home. Don't give your address until you are sure that you want to continue the relationship. Trust your instincts and don't meet again if you have any doubts. On your first meeting, it is best to make your own way to and from the venue. It is best not to accept an offer of transport. Leave details of your meeting with family or friends when seeing a respondent for the first time.These points may seem over-cautious, but if the person you meet is genuine, they will understand.
Posted by LC at 12:31 PM | TrackBack

Why Your Tribal Brain Makes You Nervous

Let me share with you a little secret about how all men's brains - including YOURS - is wired when approaching woman.

Have you ever thought to yourself, WHY do I get nervous or anxious when approaching a woman? After all, if you approach 5 or 6 new women every day, if you could be absolutely fearless and confident with women, your love and sex life would probably explode. So why would you get nervous and anxious at all -- seems like your brain isn't doing what's best for you does it?

Just take me, for example. Normally, I can approach any women, anytime, anywhere. Even if I screw an approach up, I usually feel fine about it and it doesn't stop me from making the next one.

However, last weekend I was at one of my sister's parties. The place was packed with single girls. Yet when I saw a girl I liked, I would freeze up and this little voice in my head would tell me, "What if you screw up... maybe you shouldn't do this... be careful!"

I just couldn't get that little voice out of my head and I left the party after only an hour because I was getting frustrated with myself.

So how come I could approach an anonymous woman on the street who I'll probably never see again, and yet feel anxious about approaching a woman at one of my sister's parties?

The answer lies in how humans evolved. For most of history, men and women lived in small groups of hunters and gatherers of no more than 100 individuals. If you made a move on ANY woman - and she rejected your advances - EVERYONE would know about it. And that would mean MASSIVE negative social proof with all of your potential mates. Because if one woman rejected you, you'd look like a loser to ALL of the other women you could mate with. You'd seriously jeopardize your ability to ever get laid again and have children.

So your shyness and nervousness is actually a DEFENSE to protect you from looking like a reject in the tribal setting. And that's why, when my sister and her friends were watching me that night at the party, I FROZE UP. After all, if I screwed my approach up with any girl, my sister and ALL of her friends would have seen me - and that would have looked really bad!

However, in today's world we DON'T live in small bands of hunters and gatherers. We DON'T have to worry about one rejection influencing all of the other females (potential mates) we know. In fact, in today's world, when we have the opportunity to approach a woman, we're COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. We can screw up badly and there are ABSOLUTELY NO CONSEQUENCES!

So we've spent millions of years adapting to an environment where rejection from a girl could mean disastrous consequences - and only in the last few hundred years has the situation completely changed. In other words, what was once a useful strategy for being genetically successful (i.e. being cautious when approaching women) is no longer a successful genetic strategy at all!

In today's modern society of anonymity, being nervous, shy, or cautious is DISASTROUS as far as getting laid. Shyness is a computer program in your brain, evolved over millions of years, that is meant to help you and protect you -- but now only hinders you. Times have changed, but your brain hasn't.

That's why you need advanced techniques that change the very core of your psychology from the inside out! And that's one of the reasons you need advanced seduction technology, including hypnosis and NLP... so that you won't be prisoner to millions of years of evolutionary programming like everyone else.

By Derek Vitalio
Posted by LC at 11:07 AM | TrackBack

Safe Dating Tips

You know, online dating on the web is generally extremely safe, especially friendly and great fun It is safe dating because it is distance dating - simple. You do not come into contact with others initially and this may well provide you with a comfort factor that also allows you to pace yourself and be rightly choosey.

If possible though, you should try and follow a few basic online safe dating principles before deciding to pass over personal contact information to a relative stranger or arrange to meet them. It's all too easy to get a little carried away when viewing personal ads so take things slowly and take a rain check every now and again.The tips here may appear obvious to you but we think that if you do try and follow them, it can only assist you in ensuring you have happy online dating experiences. And you never know, Mr. or Miss Right may be just round the corner. We really hope so.
  • Always trust your instinct, after all it has got you this far in life already.
  • Take your time and view plenty of personal ads first.
  • Do not publish your phone number or email address in personal ads.
  • Don't take everything at face value.
  • Do ask lots of questions when chatting.
  • Ensure you feel comfortable at all times whoever you are chatting with.
  • If someone is abusive to you, block them straight away.
  • Don't provide your home or work address to anyone you have not met.
  • Before agreeing to a date, check that you know as much as possible
Don't allow yourself to be talked into anything, whatsoever! You are the one in charge.

Also consider the following:
  • Take your time to get to know someone. Don't be rushed
  • A patient person will be happy to wait until you are ready to meet
  • Make sure you see plenty of photos if possible of the person you make friends with
  • Ask your date to leave a message in your voicemail box before hand if possible
  • Chat on the phone for a while before arranging a date, get to know each other
  • Always meet in a public place that is well known and convenient to you
  • Always tell a good friend where you are going, and who you are meeting
  • If possible phone your friend during the date to confirm all is fine
And perhaps consider these points too:
  • Always carry a cellular phone on a date if you have one
  • Lunchtimes are good for dating, convenient, and they have a time limit
  • Always make your own travel arrangements on a date initially
  • Do not accept a lift home on the first date or reveal your address
  • If travelling far, organize your own accommodation and confirm it
  • Ensure you have as much information about your date as possible
  • Keep your first date to a time limit so that you have an "exit" point
  • Don't feel you owe it to someone to meet them, you do not!
When we think of safe dating by sets of rules like this it can all get pretty silly and scary but the fact is that we are introducing ourselves to strangers without the company of friends. It will always be a wise choice to have a friend close by even if they are sitting at a nearby table. But whatever you decide is best for you, keep your wits about you and enjoy your date !!

by Ian McNeice
Posted by LC at 09:40 AM | TrackBack

January 08, 2005

Ten Ways to Keep Romance Alive

1. Don't Stockpile Anger: Deal with whatever is bothering you in the moment. Stored resentments destroy romance in two ways: 1) they cut off positive feelings; and 2) they eventually explode in words or actions that destroy the relationship. No relationship, no romance.

2. Play Together: Sharing fun times builds intimacy, the soil for romance. Make a snowman. Have a pillow fight. Play together like you did when you were young.

3. Grow Together: Trees grow until they die, so why shouldn't people. If either of you stop growing, the relationship will feel stuck in a rut. A relationship in a rut means no romance. To break out of the rut, and rekindle romance, start growing together. For example, take a course on a subject that interests you both.

4. Make a Date: A fun way to keep romance alive is to recreate one of your first dates. Dress the same as you did way back when, visit the same restaurant. Doing so will resurrect the old feelings of excitement.

5. Take a Trip Down Memory Lane: Travel together to a spot you visited when you were lovers. If you can't get there in person, then look at the photos of one of your early trips. Remember the smells, sights and sounds. Recall how you felt back then. Recreate a special moment from that trip, right in your own livingroom.

6. Take Initiative: An excellent way to rebuild and maintain romance is to take initiative. Do something for your mate that you know he or she likes (like, a candlelit massage. Or prepare a favorite dish). The point is: taking initiative, conveys your love, boosts intimacy and sparks romance.

7. Keep Listening: If you have been together for a while, you may assume that you know everything about your partner. Many long-term couples stop asking what the other partner needs, thinks or feels; this pattern leads to feelings of neglect--a major romance killer. Never assume that you know what your mate thinks, feels or wants, no matter how long you've been together. Keep asking and keep listening in order to keep romance alive.

8. Keep Sex on the Front Burner: Many couples that have been together for a while, cut back on sex. Research says that unresolved anger kills sex drive. Follow step one (don't stockpile anger) and keep on trucking in the sex department. Make sex dates, try new positions and locations. Do whatever you know turns your mate on. Good sex boosts romantic feelings.

9. Say I Love You: If you remember to say "I love you" (or other caring statements) five times a day, romance will stay. Remember five times a day and the romance will stay.

10. Isn't It Romantic?: Never assume that you know what your mate finds romantic. For one spouse, watching a football game, clutching a beer, is the height of romance. For the other, this scenario might be the height of boring. So, make sure you find out, what rings your mate's chimes. Then, don't file the information away, like an old research project. Put your information into practice and say and do what your mate finds romantic. romantic.

by Dr.Love
Posted by LC at 04:25 PM | TrackBack

January 06, 2005

Speed Dating

Speed dating has recently become a popular alternative to blind dates or going to singles bars. It’s a fun, efficient way to meet several people in one evening instead of spending lots of time and money on one date with someone you’ve just met and may not hit it off with.

Speed dating is popular because it’s so much fun and gives you so many opportunities in one evening. Generally in one evening you’ll have the chance to meet about eight different people for “mini dates” that are not longer than ten minutes each.

You have just enough time to talk to them, find out the basics and see if there’s any chemistry, then it’s on to the next date. At the end of the evening, you mark down the first name of anyone you’d like to get in touch with and if they also express interest, you are given each other’s information.

There’s an intermission when you can mingle and meet other people you weren’t matched with, and if you came with a friend the two of you can compare notes over drinks and appetizers. It’s a great girls or guys night out combined with the opportunity to safely “meet and greet” others who are interested in dating.

So for the cost of one evening out, you’ve met at least eight people you know are interested in the same things you are and are open to dating. You’ve had a few drinks and some great food, and when you leave you may be looking forward to a real date with the third speed date of the night, but the next time for the whole evening. No wonder it’s popular!
Posted by LC at 12:25 PM | TrackBack

Dating someone with kids. Straight talk to men and women about dating, when one or both have kids.

A ready-made family can be a blessing or a deal-breaker when it comes to dating. Many single parents are afraid to begin dating again, because they think their children make them less desirable. By the same token, many non-parents are put off by the idea of dating someone with kids because they don’t want to seen as a convenient surrogate parent. Yet many relationships flourish despite, or even because, of the children. In many cases, the joys of a “blended family” can be more than the sum of its parts.

We asked the experts – single parents who found love and romance through Internet dating – for their tips, cautions, and advice when it comes to dating with children.

    • Are you looking for a partner for yourself, or a parent for your child? Some of our members told us that single parents who put too much emphasis on their kids can scare off potential dates.

    • Don’t bring the kids with you on a first date. Wait until a relationship has had a chance to develop before you begin doing things together as a family.

    • You do not need to introduce every date to your children – in fact this may be disruptive and confusing for them. Then again, don’t wait until you’re ready to announce your engagement before breaking the news to the children. When a relationship starts to get serious, it’s appropriate for everyone to start getting to know each other.

    • Consider the feelings of your kids. If you’re single because of a divorce or separation, kids often feel they are somehow to blame. Bringing a new partner into the relationship can cause the kids to feel emotional confusion and even resentment. Be sure to let the kids know that your date is not meant to replace their “real” mom or dad.

    • A loving partner deserves his or her fair share of attention. You are more than just a parent – if your life revolves around your children, your adult relationships can suffer unless you consciously make time for your partner as well as for your kids.

    • Before the relationship develops too far, you should discuss and establish child discipline roles with a new partner. House rules need to be applied consistently, and both adults need to support each other’s decisions.

    • Child support, custody and relations with your ex are matters for you and your ex-spouse to deal with privately. It’s inappropriate to expect a new partner to take sides.

    • Do either or both of you want more children? This can be a big source of conflict in a relationship if one does, but the other doesn’t or can’t. Also consider the emotional effect on the children – a new baby may make the older kids feel they’ve been displaced in your affections.

    • Kids are kids, friends are friends. Your kids are not appropriate confidantes about your dating and relationship issues, unless the kids are adults themselves. Don’t add to their confusion by putting them in adult roles.

    • Although this is something nobody wants to think about, a small percentage of people seek out single parents as a way to gain access to children for potential abuse. For the safety and well-being of your family, please do the necessary background investigations before you get too involved with someone.

    • Little pitchers have big ears. Be sure that your behavior in front of the kids is appropriate. In particular, be careful about displaying physical affection when the children are around. They know more – and understand less – than you may think. Don’t do anything in front of the kids that would embarrass you if they were to report back to the other parent.

    • Children use their parents’ behavior as a model for their own lives. Though they may not express it all the time, you’re not just a parent, you’re their hero. The examples you set for your kids will influence them over a lifetime.

Remember, these are just guidelines. A lot will depend on the age of the children. Are there one, two or three? Are they 5 or 15, big difference. In talking with many of our singles who have re-entered the dating world, most agreed on these key points:

1) Don't introduce the kids to your date until the relationship has matured and you really know this person. Your kids don't need to grow an attachment only to feel the same hurt or pain when a relationship breaks off. Too many parents don't understand that their kids actually hurt for their mom or dad when they know a relationship didn't work out. They don't have the maturity to understand the dating world. Protect them, leave them out of it for the first three months, period. Yes, it's difficult, yes you have a life too, three months is still our recommendation.

2) Okay, so it's been three months, you meet her kid(s), she's cooking dinner for you. Guys, don't do sleepovers. Yes, it's tempting. Yes, I know you don't want to leave. When the kids go to bed, only to wake up and see you still there, it causes all kinds of confusion. Trust me, you’d better be seriously considering putting a ring on her finger if you're going to start doing sleepovers. Kids will not easily forget the person who shared Mom or Dad's bed. You may not understand the damage it causes until they reach 14 years of age, but by then you will.

3) Single parents need to be able to sit down with their kids before they introduce these key relationship milestones. Remember, as parents we are teachers. Our kids are our students. Think about the lessons we're teaching them, and ask yourself, "Do they understand?". If not, you need to work harder.

Until the relationship matures into something serious, we recommend you keep the kids "out" of it. Have a date night, but don't let the kids feel threatened by it. You only have your kids living with you for a very short time, think about them first. Both of you!

Posted by LC at 12:18 PM | TrackBack

Is he married? Straight talk to women about "game players'.

It is believed around the online dating circuit that a full one-third of the men on most of the national dating sites are married. Another one-third are in a bad relationship and they're out "hunting". Some dating sites cater to the Married but Looking crowd, others ask people to pledge honesty about their marriage status and don't accept married members. So, how do you find out if he's married without hiring a private investigator? We hope this article helps:

Picture this scenario: You’re a woman on her own, with or without a relationship or two in your past. While the single life can be carefree and exciting, you also look forward to the companionship of a man who can be your best friend, your romantic partner, and, possibly, your future husband.

There’s just one catch. The last thing you want is to get involved with a married man, and not all men are forthcoming about their status. How do you find out if he’s already “taken”?

The one answer we heard from everyone we asked was "Be direct". Before you go to the trouble of typing his name into a search engine such as or, or even paying for an online background check, ask up front if he’s married or currently in a relationship. Remind him "married" means not legally divorced - some guys think separated is divorced, go figure!

We also learned from dating experts that married men often give clues about their real lives, whether they mean to or not. Here are some tips on what to look for:

  • Where do you typically go for dates? Does he avoid places near where he lives or works? Have you been to his home? Met his family? Is he nervous about being seen with you in public?

  • Does he give you a cell phone number or a work number, but never a home phone number? Does he tell you only to call him at work because he’s never home?

  • Does he call off dates with frequent tales of bad luck? A car that breaks down, a forgotten appointment, a sudden change in work schedule? Bad luck happens to everyone now and then, but people with something to hide seem to have more than their fair share of it.

  • Not all married men wear a wedding band, and not all rings are wedding rings, but if you see a tan line or a groove where he would ordinarily be wearing a ring, that may be cause for suspicion.

  • Ask him what he likes to eat. Single men either cook for themselves, or they go out to eat. If he looks well nourished but is vague about his dining-in preferences, someone, probably his wife, is feeding him.

  • Does he use the words “we” or “I” when he talks about vacations, adventures, or day to day activities? If he unconsciously refers to himself in the plural, there may well be a wife and family involved.

  • Does he keep an odd schedule? If he works regular daytime hours but can never seem to meet you for dinner during the week, or if he’s oddly strict about when you can call, he may be trying to coordinate his home life and his extracurricular activities.

What's his attitude about relationships? Does he admit to, or mention previous infidelities? Does he think monogamy is boring, stifling, or impossible to achieve?

Romance and excitement are wonderful, but the best relationships are based on trust, friendship and fidelity. Use your best judgment in deciding whether to continue a relationship with a man you know (or suspect) is married, but give some thought to how you would feel about the “other woman” if you were his wife.
Posted by LC at 12:01 PM | TrackBack

After the break-up, your "first love" never really leaves you, according to student research at UC Berkeley

... Berkeley - Whether your heart belongs to anyone this Valentine's Day may depend on what happened the first time you fell in love.

This new finding, by University of California, Berkeley, graduate student Jennifer Beer, challenges the notion commonly held since Freud that the stability of the parent-child relationship sets the stage for attachment later in life.

With romance, said Beer, "Some of the problems you have in the romantic domain may have more to do with your first love than with your parents." She based her work on the first-love stories of 303 UC Berkeley undergraduates, mostly juniors, collected in 1997.

By "first love," Beer doesn't mean a childhood crush on a teacher or movie star, but the first real relationship of a romantic nature between two individuals, often experienced in adolescence or early adult years. Those who remember the experience positively are more likely to consider themselves securely attached to their current romantic partners, she said, and to perceive their romantic partners as securely attached to them.

She now is looking at how such recent and distant "vivid" representations of self and partner are stored in different memory systems in the brain and what this might reveal about self-perception.

"Vivid memories are very detailed, self-defining, something you recall a lot, stories and anecdotes you dwell on or tell all the time," Beer said.

In the case of first love, such memories often range from bittersweet but fond - perhaps recollections of a poignant puppy love tinged with regard or regret for a long-ago sweetheart - to deeply painful, soul-crushing experiences.

Whatever happened, "it can set you up as thinking, 'This is what I am like as a relationship partner,' " Beer said.

People who recollect their first romantic experience as involving good feelings, for instance, citing memories of happiness, excitement, strength, inspiration, pride and enthusiasm, were more likely to be in stable relationships years later than those recalling hostility, upset, stress, guilt, fright or shame, Beer found.

"First love relationships often break up. So people say, 'What do you mean, good feelings? It was a breakup,' " she said. "But even though the relationship ended, which seems like it might be negative, the vivid memories surrounding the experience can be good or bad."

As an example of a good experience, Beer cited one respondent who suffered greatly because her former boyfriend dated other women immediately after their relationship ended. But, prior to that, the experience had been a positive taste of what love could be, and the woman learned what made her happy in a relationship.

Alternatively, Beer described a stormier experience that left the respondent years later with the unshakeable suspicion that all men were untrustworthy.

"This is wrong, but I cannot help myself," the respondent commented. "One negative experience has been enough to change my entire outlook on men."

Beer identified four patterns of perception surrounding relationships:

  • Secure - A secure, positive sense of both self and partner in a relationship.

  • Dismissive -A positive sense of self, but not of partner.

  • Preoccupied - A positive sense of partner, but not of self.

  • Fearful - Negative recollections of both.

Those with memories of positive emotion and outcomes from their first relationship "were more likely to have positive views of self and others in romantic relationships," Beer said. "Those with more negative emotions and outcome were more likely to show one of the other three patterns."

By Kathleen Scalis e, Media Relations
Posted by LC at 11:47 AM | TrackBack

January 05, 2005

10 ways to attract a man

Once your loser boyfriend left your life, you figured it was time to celebrate. Go out with the girls, live it up, have some “me” time.

Well, it’s been about six months, and if you have to read one more article called “I Will Survive,” you’re going to scream. If you’re ready to get out there again, you’re gonna need some ammo. Here are 10 tips to get you going:

1. Work it
You know what I mean: I’m talking about you and your fear of skin. Show a little. I don’t mean Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich, but maybe something from her Mystic Pizza days. 2. Work out
Did I mention that Tip #1 is contingent upon the success of Tip #2? If you don’t work out, you can’t work it. Get yourself on the elliptical a few times a week, and not only will you look better in your new, revealing wardrobe, but you’ll feel better and exude confidence.

3. Shut up
Enough with the long stories already. First meetings call for shallow conversation, not your memoirs.

4. Be mysterious
This is the 21st century version of playing hard to get. Girls in the 20th century took this too far — never acting interested, never calling back ... You know who you are. These days, hold back some information. Don’t divulge the details of your brief stint as Tori Spelling’s personal assistant; just allude to it. He’ll be begging for more.

5. No scowling
My gorgeous friend Miranda is a scowler. Scowls at everyone in the place. When she asks, “Why can’t I get a guy?” our friends tell her she intimidates men. She looks like a bitch. No one will tell her, so I’m telling you.

6. Show your smarts
Acting ditzy is like so 1996. You watch CNN. Dazzle him with your knowledge of the Nasdaq, not Nickelodeon.

7. Be seen
You’ve got a VCR, so you can tape "Buffy." Just get out there and let the world know you’re available ... without looking available. Make him say, “Who’s that girl I keep seeing around? She certainly looks mysterious and smart.”

8. Network
You may think your best friend’s boyfriend is a waste of time, but don’t count him out. No, I don’t mean steal him — talk to him. Talk to all guys even if they’re taken. They have friends, co-workers and second cousins.

9. Graduate from seventh grade
Hey, you’re an adult. Don’t giggle with your friends and send one of them over to tell the guy you think he’s fine. I don’t care how many tequila shots you’ve had. You wouldn’t write his name on your book covers, would you?

10. If all else fails, girl ... make the move
Why should we always leave it up to them? If you’ve followed the first nine tips, then you just may have the confidence to approach the guy yourself. What’s the worst that could happen? Wait, don’t answer that.

By:Elsa Weidman
Posted by LC at 03:14 PM | TrackBack

The Girl Next Door

When you think about the girl next door, usually it brings pleasant thoughts. She is a lady we have seen around, exchanged greetings and smiles – walked away feeling good. The part about feeling good has a lot to do with the calm atmosphere and the casual meeting. There was no crowd, no expectations of trying to be picked up, and you were not concerned about being rejected. Instead, it was you and a lady exchanging some small talk with no pressure or competition. Over time as you get to know each other the conversation may get a little more personal and you may decide to get together for dinner or drinks. It seems to come natural.

In a club, the atmosphere is completely different. There is competition and much more intensity in the air. The women don’t know who you are and if they seen you around, they can only judge you by your actions – which may be effected by alcohol. When you do walk up to one of these ladies in a club, right away you are inviting her to go out, have a drink, etc., without her really knowing who you are. No wonder this type of atmosphere is ripe with rejection. Granted a lady may get to know you in a club over time, but there always seems to be another guy around the corner trying to take your place. Probably this competition is the reason for the hurried invite for a personal connection. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I bet, must guys have had more then their share of rejections in a club and really don’t care for the feeling.

Meeting a girl online is similar to the girl next door concept. She may not be next door, but the atmosphere of little pressure, casual conversation and getting to know each other by online exchange (email, online chatting, etc.), make it a more pleasant feeling. In time, this exchange may blossom into more then friendship. If sparks connect, you will find yourself in love with the girl next door though she may be miles even oceans away.

A lady in a bar who doesn’t know who you are, may say no for that reason alone. She may get to know you in time, but more then likely you have asked her out before she got the chance to know who you are. After a guy has been rejected, more then likely he won’t return to the scene of the accident. You may tell yourself you will let the lady get to know you before making any advances, which is not a bad idea, but by the time she gets to know you, three other guys have asked her out. The girl next door concept in a bar could work, but the competition and the odds are stacked against you.

With the girl next door concept on the internet, you get to know each other before asking intimate questions. And when the time comes to invite the lady into a romantic encounter, she knows who you are and rejection is less likely. Granted, there are jerks on the net whose first email may say “baby, I want to make love to you all night,” but that line seems out of place for a first email. Yet that same line may not seem so out of place the first time you meet a lady in a club. See the difference? I doubt if you would say “baby, I want to make love to you all night” the first time you meet your new lady neighbor. Yet in a club, after a few drinks, you will say just that and it is almost expected.

You can see why the girl next door concept works well with online dating. Ladies get to know the guys, rejection is less, and finding love is more likely. I can’t imagine a better way to get to know the girl next door then from the comfort of your home and computer. The girl next door is as close as your fingers on the keyboard – you just got to go out and find her. With so many online dating services, finding the girl next door should be as easy as ringing her door bell.

sub-title: Online Dating for Guys
Posted by LC at 02:55 PM | TrackBack

"It’s a Gut Feeling – Finding love"

Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings, afternoons and evenings have a routine they are comfortable with and rarely will they go beyond the boundaries of that routine. Even a single guy’s loneliness can become his norm and if someone crosses his path that interest him, he rationalizes instead of trying to adapt. Many times this leads to confusion – he just isn’t sure if she is the one. He over thinks, he pauses, rewinds, goes forward until nothing makes sense about being involved. Soon he is back to his comfortable routine of drinking beer and watching football on Sunday. The loneliness he feels won’t go away and after many beer drinking Sundays, he may try to fill that emptiness again. But just like before, he soon feels he is out of his comfort zone and the story repeats itself. After awhile, he is asking himself, how do I find love?

This problem persist because he wants the girl to instantly fit into his comfort zone. At first, when he sees her, he is excited and this is enough to keep the relationship alive. In time the lady’s personality and feelings make him over think the relationship and the excitement dissipates. At one time it was exciting, but it loses its luster as the relationship moves forward – especially when the lady’s discussion involves changes in his life. He feels the pressure and wants out. Soon, he is back to filling his emptiness with beer and Sunday afternoon football.

You see ladies, guys don’t have the same type of instinct as you do and don’t easily trust intuitive feelings. He’ll over think what’s in his heart, especially if he feels the only way he can love you is for him to make major changes in his life (they may not be major to you, but to him missing a Sunday afternoon of football may seem worse than going through hurricane Ivan). The gap will widen until it is beyond closing, no matter how he may truly feel about you. Whatever he felt at first now rest in a place that has no understanding of intuition. It may still be there, but buried in a cluster of confusion. What can you do ladies? Not much, except maybe back off a little. What can you do guys? Don’t think about it – trust your gut feeling.

I just got done saying that a guy’s feelings may be buried in confusion. What a man doesn’t realize that this is what separate men from women’s intuition. What we interrupt as confusion, a lady calls intuition and has complete trust in those feelings no matter how chaotic it may seem. In other words, guys, they go with the flow. We will fight it, we will rationalize it, we will try to hide it with alcohol, cover it with masculine bravo, but instead, we should listen to it. Don’t run, don’t hide, just let it be and let it take its course. Scary, thought, isn’t it, guys? But if you are tired of the merry-go-round of emptiness you may want to give it a chance.

I know some of you guys are still looking for clarity, so here goes. Our visual instincts are in tune when we first see a lady. All she needs to do is give us a little sign of encouragement and our hormones are in high gear. We don’t think beyond the moment, care about house payments or closet space, our eyes see what we like, a signal says it is ok to like what we see and we are in heaven. Simple! Now let’s move ahead where the lady starts thinking about how life would be beyond the weekend movie, sexual encounters and the occasional dinner together. She wants more. If you fight it, she is gone, so you let the door open. She is in with some feelings – you thought you could handle it, but now you seem to be reacting to her feelings. Is this bad, guys, that you are reacting to her feelings? We seem to interrupt a reaction, even if it is a positive one, as being bad. At this stage we begin the debate between what we feel and what we know. We know we like to watch foot ball, but how will my feelings change me being able to watch football on Sunday? (I know ladies, you just can’t believe it’s that hard to decide between football and love, but for guys, it can be). When there is a debate between our head and our heart, ladies, the head usually wins. What I’m telling guys, if what you feel inside is positive, don’t cloud it with other possible scenarios. Let it flow – trust that what you feel inside can be a positive in all aspects of your life. But for now, don’t think, just be.

Guys, I’m not saying that in time you may realize that she is not right for you and shouldn’t get out, but what I am saying is we usually kill the chance to find out before we let time take its course. Usually, we over think our reactions until the only reaction left is we feel she is an intrusion in our life. Than she’s gone and the loneliness comes back – another Sunday, another 6 pack or two of beer and you are getting older, lonelier and maybe, just maybe, wiser.

I say wiser because I think younger guys fit the above sort better than an older gent. As a guy gets older, he may realize not to react so quickly, but trust that what he feels may actually enhance other aspects of his life. This is why a lot of younger Filipina ladies like older men. To them, older men are more settled, accepting and willing.

Obviously, guys have met a lady and after the first date knew she wasn’t the one. Even then a guy will call it a mistake rather than a gut feeling. He’ll say something like, “I don’t know what I saw in her, but man she isn’t for me.” It is when it goes beyond the first date and his gut has already said, “man she is the one” that he will start to talk himself out of any involvement when the lady wants a little more than the two of them getting together on Friday and Saturday nights. I”m telling you guys, trust that initial feeling, let the confusion in, don’t fight it and give it time. You may find that you can still watch your football game on Sundays while she is nibbling on your ear.

That’s it, short and sweet. Guys, if you feel she is the one after a date or two, trust your gut feeling and don’t talk yourself out of it. There is more to life than Sunday afternoon football. There is Monday night football also. Just kidding, smile, let what you feel be your guide and forget thinking too hard about how those feelings may change your life. Let it flow and let her love you.
Posted by LC at 02:35 PM | TrackBack

Sex Between Older Men and Much Younger Women

The reality is that sexual desire does not stop once a man reaches the age of fifty. Most of these men are very happy to have a sex partner their own age or close to it. But, there is a percentage of these men, who are looking for sex and possibly a life partner who is much younger than them. This is especially true when men are trying to meet, then date, through the Internet.

In the every day world it is very difficult to start a relationship between older men and much younger women but for some reason that barrier appears greatly diminished if the relationship starts through the Internet. People seem less likely to be concerned about the age difference and love begins to flourish, which often times leads to marriage. Only after they physically get together or are married, that problems begin to crop up.

There is no doubt that the younger woman always makes her partner feel younger. During the first months of the relationship or marriage, it seems as though the man can beat all sexual records. The question is, how long will he stay in the same sexual peak once the honeymoon is over and life returns to a normal routine?

With age a variety of physical and emotional changes happen to the human body. A fact of nature that has nothing to do with our wishes. Unfortunately we cannot cheat mother nature but that does not mean the sex drive disappears. What it does suggest is the approach to sex will often change.

The successful sex life of these couples is enhanced by the manner of approach. Successful couples have taken the time to learn the secrets and tricks that allows them to survive the difficult moments. If both partners really love each other they will develop their own form of Karma Sutra. But in doing so, they have to trust each other and share their problems and sexual desires, openly.

Older men need to understand that although they probably cannot maintain the same fast and furious pace as they did in their twenties, their life experiences should more than make up for the physical aspect of love making.

Older men usually have more control over the physical and mental state of their being and a much greater knowledge of what elicits pleasure for a woman. This “experience factor” grants them the ability of understanding the female body to stimulate and satisfy a woman which in turn should culminate in prolonged sexual stimulation prior to orgasm

It can be a very exciting surprise for a young woman, whose only sexual experience may have been young men her own age. Women often complain that they need more foreplay in their love making and not all of them get it from young men.

Most men after 50 also need some kind of foreplay to achieve an erection. So, they turn this kind of situation into win-win arena for both! For older men, this foreplay can be very exiting as well and helps him to prepare his body for sex. Surprisingly, he can do it much quicker then he can expect , because playing and touching a young woman’s body will arouse his ability to perform sex, dramatically!

by: Marina Smiley
Posted by LC at 12:56 PM | TrackBack

January 04, 2005

The Art of Flirting

Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of the opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick outline on how you should go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It all beings with your approach.

The Approach

One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of initiating contact. You must approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you approach, you begin looking for the signs.

The Signs

The person who has been approached will always signal the other’s presence in some way…a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle, however, more a subtle body language which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply may look up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal with a glancing eye contact.
A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching generally indicates lack of interest altogether. Don’t be discouraged. But if the one you approached shows absolutely no interest, then it’s time to re-group and try again. But let’s say the approach works. You have your positive acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk

The Verbal Exchange

The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around them. The key word here is MILD.
This is the classic place for the clever “line,” but cleverness is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not for the purpose of sharing valuable insights about life or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further the developing contact.
Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from “please pass the pickles” to “your looking great tonight”, to “have you seen the waitress?”. Without some form of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will occur. Let’s say all is going as planned. Time for body language.

Body Language

Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin to orient themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one another until, if all is goes well, they are fully facing one another. This is your goal.
This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very much can ever happen, so give up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods of time! But if they don’t…


The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their hands against one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the casual affections shown by couples who are dating. If you’ve reached this point, then flirting has now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out there and flirt.
The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact. You only have one shot at making a great first impression. By following some of the guidelines we’ve established in this article, you should now be equipped to locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting relationship.

by Joe Vetromile
Posted by LC at 05:28 PM | TrackBack

Why are Russian women so popular in the West?

This question is constantly asked by Russian women willing to marry a foreign man…

They all have their reasons to search for a husband abroad, which nevertheless can be counted down to just three.

First and most important - lack of men in Russia (according to the last census data, the number of women exceeds that of men by 10 million, and for the age of 40 and over the ratio goes up to terrifying 1:10!). Secondly, those few who are still available are simply not competitive, suffering from alcoholism, unable to provide for the family, etc. And the last basic reason is unstable economic situation in Russia, while it is only natural that people always look for better place to live… So it is all clear with Russian ladies.

The more interesting question is what the men want! What do they lack so much that they, being quite well-off and financially secure, are going overseas to search a wife, who is more often than not is unsettled, with lots of problems, totally different mentality and no language skills? Don't they have their own women? That's right! According to statistics, in all economically advanced countries number of men significantly exceeds number of women. What are the reasons? There is quite a number of them, but they also can be counted down to just two. First is high level of medical service, which facilitates successful birth of male babies and prolongs their life in declining years (in Russia too there are more baby boys than girls, but grown men live much shorter life than women).

Another reason is a great number of immigrants enlarging male population of well-to-do countries. For example, USA accepts about 1 million official immigrants every year. Who are they? Mostly single young men, or families. It is very hard to imagine a young woman changing her life so drastically. We don't say that there are no such women, we just say that there are very few of them. What does it lead to? It leads to the fact that the United States have 8 million more men than women. That's where your potential husbands live! And I don't even mention the point of American men being pitifully disappointed in their women, that is old news now.

The suffrage, that is, feminist movement of the 50s has done its black deed - American women have gained full equality of rights, and lost just as much. Men see them as way too calculating and unattractive (which is not altogether untrue. Due to the infamous sexual harassment law many women have stopped taking care of their appearance, wear only jeans, eat too much junk food and have turned into manlike sexless creatures).

Believe me, I don't think so - there are just as many sexually appealing and well-groomed American ladies - this is just the common opinion of men going East looking for a wife. Yeah, about East… When the whole territory of the Soviet Union was hidden behind the iron curtain, many Americans have turned their gazes to the very open Philippines, Thailand and other exotic oriental countries. They brought narrow-eyed beauties back home, had their babies and now worry from time to time about white population of America being rapidly assimilated by the yellow race. Especially taking into consideration all Chinese, who had promptly left their country during Mao dze Dun reign, and neighbors-Mexicans constantly flooding USA in search of better job and better life, and who are not all that white either.

Frank Colleman has very well expressed this idea in his book To Russia for Love. He went to Russia several times, starting from the first so-called "socials" in the early 90s, until he found a great Russian woman Tatiana and brought her back to his native Oklahoma. He wrote simply "I want my kid to look like my kid." J And that's it. Russian sexuality is already legendary in the West, beauty of our women is valued all over the world and for good reason! Talking about this could take ages, but I don't want to bore you. I hope something got clearer now, at least a bit? Good luck in searching for your love and happiness!

Posted by LC at 05:16 PM | TrackBack

Where is YOUR place in global markets? Internet dating and globalization

Internet has changed our world fast and forever.

The whole world is watching �American Idol�, �Survivor� and �Friends�, listening to Eminem and Britney Spears, admiring �The Lord Of The Rings� and �Titanic�, and reading the latest New York bestsellers.

We wear Malaysian-made jeans, Korean-made running shoes and our kids play with Chinese-made toys.

When you call to a tall-free number, someone in India, via Internet, handles your call.

Jobs are increasingly shipped overseas where companies can save thousands of $$$ using discrepancies in the income level. Why pay someone $100 per hour for a programming job when you can pay $20 per hour to someone in Eastern Europe and have the job done just as well?

Whether you like it or not, you are a part of global markets!

You can either be the object of globalization, the passive element of the world growing smaller -- or you can jump on the opportunity and become the subject and the user.

Those opportunities are everywhere!

You might be astounded to find an offshore company that can handle your website needs for a fraction of the money you are paying to your current employees!

Even if you do most of the work yourself, you might be in better off paying somebody overseas to save your valuable time for something that no one but you can perform.

And not only business-like!

Your business may be run by other people but there are certain things in your life that only YOU can do; one of them is finding a love partner.

Global markets are on this one, too!

International romance is no longer something people or newspapers are interested in talking about; it�s kind of ordinary. Every day thousands people are chatting to somebody overseas via online dating sites. If you ever grow tired of your local dating market, you can always explore new global markets where you can score more!

The demographics of a particular country may provide an exciting opportunity for you to meet a partner of better quality than is available for you at home.

Men to women ratios differ dramatically between the countries.

For example, the latest figures from The Economist show that in United Arab Emirates there are 186 males for 100 females! It�s clear the competition for eligible females should be stiff there. If you are a single guy, getting a woman would be hard in Emirates!

The lowest men to women ratios are in Eastern Europe, with countries like Russia and Ukraine having only 88 males for 100 females. There the situation is exactly the opposite way around: eligible bachelors are more precious than gold.

The latest Russian census provided astounding figures of 10 million more women than men! No wonders modern Russian women utilize global markets and seek love and romance elsewhere!

So if you were a single male, exploring your dating options in Russia would make the perfect sense.

Global markets not only influence the economy on a wide scale; they also affect people�s personal lives. One can choose to be a passive element of globalization, or an active user of the new exciting opportunities offered by it.

What is YOUR place in global markets?

By Elena Petrova
Posted by LC at 05:10 PM | TrackBack

Sexy, beautiful, intelligent and educated women� Mail Order Brides!

There is no single man who would not want to meet a woman who is beautiful, intelligent, educated, fit, stylish and sexy.

All men want a girlfriend like this!

The problem is there are not many girls possessing those qualities that are unattached and available. Girls like this usually have a string of admirers and an attitude. You might even think they are out of your league.

Think again!

In your country, this may be true� But the world is so much bigger than that! In some countries, things are exactly the opposite way around: there is a huge shortage of nice, intelligent and stable single men!

Take Eastern Europe for example: the latest statistics from The Economist show that in places like Russia and Ukraine there are only 88 men for 100 women! In Russia alone, there are 10 million more women than men!

It means there are TEN MILLION WOMEN that will NEVER find a partner!

Historically, during 20th century, women in Russia always outnumbered men, with World War 2 that took lives of 20 million Soviet people, and other 20 million people that died in Stalin�s concentration camps. 90% of them were men.

At that time, for a Russian woman, simply having a man was a blessing!

This created a unique situation between the genders where women were forced to perfect their looks in order to find and keep a mate.

Check Russian dating sites: you will find there thousands beautiful girls that are looking for a partner: well groomed, fashionable and stylish, they will leave you breathless.

Read about their education and you will be stunned: most of them possess advanced university degrees.

Don�t be surprised: about 60% of people in Russia have college or university degrees, others have completed at least 2-year professional training. The system of professional education was inherited from the Soviet times, where young people were required to attend professional training after completing the mandatory high school qualification. They don�t have equivalents of associate or honors degrees, and the person has to complete at least 4-year degree, or they don�t receive ANY qualification. This is how the state convinces young people to complete their studies. (By the way, education and medical are still f*r*e*e in Russia.)

On Russian dating sites, you will find thousands women that are beautiful, intelligent, educated, fit, stylish and sexy � and at the same time unattached and available.

And they are looking for nice, intelligent and stable guys - just like you!

The bad news is, you will never be able to meet them�


Because you never look at Russian dating sites. You have this attitude that �mail order brides� are something a decent man will never consider: it is only desperate losers that would look for a partner at such sites. You read in press horror stories about �mail order brides� and this phrase is strongly connected in your mind with such topics as violence, abuse, sexual exploitation, trafficking in women and immigration scams. You believe that men that seek wives abroad simply cannot find anybody in their own country and seek obedient, submissive wives. Do you?

Well, then you are for a wake up call. There is no such a thing as �Russian mail order brides� � no more than there is Santa Claus!

There are Russian women seeking suitable partners. Those women are not desperate to leave their country and are proud of their inheritance and culture. They are educated, intelligent, and smart. They are not going to become intimate submissives or maids. They will not tolerate infidelity or abuse. They truly seek SUITABLE partners and will not jump on anybody, just to get out of their misery.

In fact, they do NOT consider their life miserable! On her average salary, a Russian woman can afford to attend live performances and beauty saloons a few times a month, buy best-selling books, latest fashion and Italian shoes.

Actually, I used to have much more exciting life in Russia with overseas vacations and quality entertainment than I have now, living in the west!

The same is applicable to many Russian women seeking partners abroad. They are articulate, sophisticated, well read and well traveled.

P.S. Personally, I hate this label �mail order brides�. I believe it is a disgrace to imply a human being can be ordered as an item, and the sacred companionship of marriage may be purchased as an electrical toothbrush from mail order catalog.

C�mon guys! So called �mail order brides� services do not sell women. They sell access to contact information of their members, that�s it � just like you join a local singles club and they give you contact details of people that may be interested in meeting you. Russian dating agencies also have socials like speed dating services where interested men and women can meet each other. Only men and women, themselves, decide whom they want to date. You cannot buy a bride!

It is 21st century, pals!

Wake up � and smell the roses! :-))

By Elena Petrova
Posted by LC at 04:52 PM | TrackBack

January 03, 2005

Find a Date

Find a date so your friends say Join us for dinner and find a date to bring this weekend they ask you. Where do I begin finding a date? And then you panic! Maybe you just want to find someone for yourself, and it has nothing to do with a social situation. Well done, I am glad. Now that you are in a positive frame of mind, finding a date should not be as daunting as it first sounds. You can perhaps think of seeking out a date as a military campaign, as your life work, or just as part of your everyday relaxed social life routine. You never know, one of these days they may well turn into something more than a date. Well, that’s if that’s what you want of course. In the meantime let us concentrate on the task in hand. Finding any date is never easy that’s true, but it can be relatively easy or hard depending on your attitude to it.

First of all, why are you trying to find a date? Are you looking for a date to fulfill a social function? If you are why not just borrow a friend to help you out. Why not even hire a date from one of the many outlets if you can afford it. Now there is a huge difference between hiring a social companion for an event and, well, you know what. Yes I am not in anyway condoning the other. I am simply suggesting that there are professional agencies who can help you pay for a good looking date if that’s the situation. That aside we are concentrating here on those who are looking for a date with the purpose of romance.

Well this is presupposing that you don’t usually meet people and there are not too many of us who never meet anyone. What is true though is that we often believe we don’t meet anyone suitable. Maybe we are a single parent with home responsibilities, or someone who works from home. Perhaps we work unsociable hours and never meet anyone to date. Maybe we work with people much younger or older, or perhaps we really don’t have finely honed social skills. It could be that we are shy, private, quiet in a group or just unwilling to make the first move.

Well whatever the situation you need to take action. The first thing you want to do is top ensure your self esteem is at an all time high. You want to find a date you are going to have a great time with so make them feel special by looking good yourself

Give yourself a makeover
Buy some new clothes and update your image
Get a new haircut or hairstyle
Get a full beauty treatment and makeover
Visit your dentist and get those teeth looking pearl white
Get a tan and freshen your skin
Get to grips with latest styles and fashions
Treat yourself to a rejuvenating break
Read some new magazines and go shopping just to get the feel
Join a health club and get into a new health routine
Go on a diet and lose a few pounds or kilos if needed.
Take up a martial art or self defense classes
Have an increased positive mental attitude

The next thing you need to do in preparation to find a date is to think long and hard as to what you really hope to achieve and whether you have any fixed aims and timescales. Have a clear idea of the person you are kind of looking for, but do not be too specific. Keep your aim as broad as you can and finding a date will be easier. The other thing I want to point out is to be realistic when looking to find a date. Don’t aim to date a Hollywood superstar if it’s not likely to happen. Keep your feet on the ground and take a long hard look at your own life before walking into someone else’s. If you are a multimillionaire then keep that detail to yourself for now.

Here are things you can do to help yourself find a date...

Dating Close to Home

Begin by looking close to home. Is there anyone in your neighborhood or family circle who is single with who you get on great. Often, people stay single simply because they are not asked out on a date by anyone, not because they themselves are lonely. It’s time to do the asking. And yes, that includes the good looking people in this world. There are lots of local clubs and activity places including evening classes. It is often the best place to introduce yourself to people of the opposite sex in your local community. Try to choose something that involves both sexes. I once met a fantastic date due to being involved in pottery classes which I greatly enjoyed.

Dating At Work

It is claimed that 87% of people working in London who are attached, met through work or started dating at work. This doesn’t mean that they work together, but that in some way, work brought them into contact. Indeed one of my best friends met his wife through a work related phone call. I do not think personally that dating at work or dating someone within your own office is a good idea due to the possibilities of fallout and neither do I think it is constructive to your career. Relationship tensions within an office can cause problems with other workers and can antagonize work related issues. So on that score I recommend you steer well clear.

However most organization are linked to other firms, there are many offices with many groups of working. If you don’t attend the office parties, then maybe begin. Try joining in after work or attending after work social events, from bowling to trips to the bar or comedy store. It is all about making new friends as much as finding a date.

If you really don’t have many people you work with or work from home like me then you are going to need to look at other ways of extending your social circle.

Get Physical

That’s right, join the gym. To find a date you should look your best. After all if you have set your sights high then doesn’t your potential date deserve the best too? Good, so get down to the local health club and look at the possibilities of getting involved in a regular health regime. If you do so already, expand your horizons and make sure you are not just at a unisex gym. Try other sports and healthy activities from yachting to running to baseball to anything you may not have tried before. You will make fabulous new friends as well as finding a date. And you will be fit.

Ask Your Friends

The most common complaint amongst people who are in their late 20’s and thirties is that all their friends are married. In which case my friends, it is time to adapt. Married friends will not help you find a date. They tell you they will when they can and they may if you are lucky even introduce you in a well meaning way to people who happen to be single. This can work. Double dating can sometimes do the trick. After all you should trust your friends. But more often that not it doesn’t help you find a date because your friends do not necessarily know who you are looking to meet. Really you need to be taking control and finding a date yourself.

In which case you need some single friends. Flash - its easier finding a date with a group of like-minded people. Oh yes. I know your married friends are your longest companions and I know that they may not approve of a group of new single friends, but trying to fond a date alone can be a lot harder than seeing a date with a group of like minded friends. In other words, there is confidence and safety when socializing in numbers. This will in turn open up new places and venues for you to visit. Your confidence levels may well increase exponentially too.

You can find new single friends everywhere. They are at work, close to home, at your clubs in your gym. You simply need to make some new friends and then join in. It is not as hard as you think. If you sat at home you will not find them, if you go out you will. When was the last time you phoned your old friends to catch up? Go do it now.

Join a Club

Activities really do bring people together and create new friends. If you are involved in something like a craft, or hobby, or sport then you are with like minded people already. You have something in common and it is a great icebreaker. If you are not a member of any club then consider what you are interested in and then consider if such an activity will introduce you to others. In most cases it will do. And consider this, there are many people also looking for a date who are also joining clubs for the same reason.

Join a Dating Agency

Dating agencies used to have a stigma attached but not anymore. Now its extremely fashionable finding a date online. Well your friends may suggest this is crazy but why is it? What do they know about it anyway? Nothing, exactly! Dating and finding a date is fun and very enjoyable. After all dating is about meeting new people and searching for a special connection. Dating agencies fall into two camps; traditional and Internet. The first are those traditional dating agencies which help you find a date but charge many hundreds of dollars to offer you the chance of meeting a few people they have manually matched you with in their database. They will then offer you the chance of meeting that person if both agree. It’s slow and long winded but it does work sometimes, though rarely are there guarantees of any kind. The main thing about such dating agencies is that they are often specialized in a certain area, maybe profession or financial level etc. Some may concentrate on the medical or legal profession; others may focus on say, executives in a certain region.

Internet Dating Agencies

The second kind of agency is the professional Internet dating and friendship agency accessible from your home PC. Most often they are free to register with so that you can see who is in their database. The beauty of Internet dating agencies is that they are instantly accessible and you can search people you match with in private and comfort without spending a penny. You can view online photo Personals to help you find a date and you can take your time.

It is important when seeking a date to choose a reputable Internet dating agency which can provide you not just with personal ads but also a safe and secure environment with advice and articles to read. When you are ready you can make contact with a database member anonymously through onsite email, chat rooms and private instant messaging. Companies like LoveBrowser now even include voicemail services so you can listen to a prospective date’s voice.

After paying a small fee, you can communicate with as many members as you wish , safely and securely and very soon you may find that you have arranged not just one date but you have found dates for whenever you like. It is down to you. No standing in singles bars or being hit upon by strangers, or having to think up opening lines. Just convenient and relaxed dating whenever you choose.

If you aim to find a date, you should begin straight away. It is not always easy to take a step like this if you have been out of the dating arena for years. Maybe you have separated or divorce or been bereaved. In which case, do try and lift your spirits and take your romantic life back into your grasp. Think through the ideas I suggest and add some yourself also and maybe now take the initiative. Life is meant for living, but even more importantly, I believe its means for sharing with someone special. Find a date for yourself this week but more importantly, feel good about yourself.

by Ian McNeice
Posted by LC at 09:48 AM | TrackBack

Dating Tips For Being Romantic

Romance is at the heart of any dating experience. If you don't consider yourself romantic then you are wrong. I don't know of anyone on this planet who doesn't have the ability to fall in love. Therefore if you can fall in love, you can be romantic too. Romance is not in the grand gestures , it is in the small details. Women will often say that it is the small things that matter. The small gestures but it is down to both men and women to start being romantic. It is a two-way process and both parties get an immense amount of pleasure from showing they care about someone. Yes we would all love to have a romantic picnic on a deserted Caribbean beach with the person of our dreams but romance begins closer to home with tips such as these:

  • Understand what romance means and why it is important and learn what romantic aspects there are to your own character. No one has a heart made of stone, however tough their exterior.
  • Understand that romance is not the sole domain of women and that men who are romantic are far more successful when dating
  • Romance has nothing whatsoever to do with masculinity. In fact, being romantic can enhance your masculinity and reputation with girls.
  • Not all women are naturally romantic either but that doesn't have to be the case.
  • The key to being romantic is thoughtfulness. So start being a little less thoughtless and selfish.
  • Communicate with your partner on every level and anticipate their desires and needs.
  • Look at your partner when they are talking and hold their gaze
  • Learn that mood, location, situation and ambience can heighten romance with dramatic effect
  • Phone just to say hello, I love you and surprise your partner
  • Learn to say, I love you and mean it. Don't say it ever, if you don't mean it
  • Send them notes and small cards telling them you are thinking of them
  • Be spontaneous and do little deeds that show you are thinking about them
  • Start going for walks together, whatever the weather
  • Put your partner first, particularly as a surprise with a spontaneous trip away
  • Think creatively and plan a surprise weekend away
  • Buy flowers any time of the year, nice ones not just roses
  • Remember birthdays, anniversaries and landmark days such as the day you first met and plan something
  • Listen to the clues your partner gives you, such as things they like and books they read and buy little gifts
  • Keep being romantic. In a good relationship, romance never ends
  • Compromise. Putting yourself first is not romantic.
  • Write him/her a letter and let them know that you love them and you mean it. People send far few letters these days. Use good quality stationery too.
  • Watch romantic movies together and invest quality time doing the things you share and both enjoy
  • Make cards rather than buying them. It shows thought and inspiration.
  • Take your partner on a picnic to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving them. Initiative illustrates romance nicely
  • Don't be a cold fish. Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Touching without sex is far more romantic but don't always hug without kissing!
  • Kiss your date and learn to appreciate the finer qualities of kissing for its own sake
  • Dance together when the occasion arises and show them special attention
  • Hold hands and do anything make your partner feel close to you
  • Hold and hug your partner in bed, especially after sex
  • Talk chat and converse about anything and everything
  • Allow your partner to breathe and do separate things to heighten the sense of romance when you are together
  • If you don't cook dinner for your date, start learning my friend. A surprise dinner with candles is romantic
  • Buy small gifts spontaneously that show great thought in what they enjoy. But not too many otherwise it has the opposite effect
  • Remember that romance is often about giving of yourself, even if it is simply your precious time when you could have had other plans. Making your partner a priority is vital
  • Do things that make you both laugh. Laughter and romance go hand in hand
  • Remember that romance is in the small details and does not need to be expensive in any way. I'd rather receive a handmade card any day than an expensive gift
  • Anticipate your partner's wishes and desires to show them you are listening to them and that you care
  • Expect rightfully that romance is a two-way process though the romance you provide is simply giving of yourself
by Ian McNeice
Posted by LC at 09:33 AM | TrackBack

Using Photos in Your Personal Ads

Photo personals are now extremely popular on the web. When using top internet dating agencies like you will get the opportunity to post maybe four different photos of yourself along with your profile for people to see. If you choose not to post any photos then generally you will not get many replies to your ad and you won't be making the most of your membership.

When you first meet some you look at their face, you look into their eyes, you hold their gaze and within a single second you may have stored 2 million separate pieces of information about that face. Instinctively you will either be drawn to its appearance or not. Much research tells us that we like symmetrical faces most of all, but we also take great notice of hair colour, length, nose, lips, smile and anything else of key initial importance in judging attraction.

Why then do people find if so hard to post photos of themselves on their profile? Believe me when I say, photo personals work! I cannot stress this enough. If you want to be successful when internet dating then begin by adding at least a single photo. Research varies on actual statistics but generally you can expect to get up to eight times more replies with a photo than without. This is because people can see what you look like and all those who are attracted to you will feel able to form a link with you and make contact.

It certainly appears to make sense to add a profile photo but many don't. The reason is often that people don't view themselves as photogenic. What they mean is that they don't look attractive in film. Maybe the camera adds weight to their features or they just don't like to see themselves as others do. its a self confidence issue. The argument goes that they don't have any nice photos available or the scanner is broken or they should really get round to scanning some in. The truth is that they don't like seeing themselves. This can be rectified by having some nice photos taken by a professional photographer which can then be scanned in later.

Another way of solving the problem and keeping the cost down is to buy a digital camera which you can then use to take thousands of photos of yourself time after time until you get the image you like the best. However if you do that you should only select the photos that actually resemble you. I have seen many disasters of people using internet dating services and misleading other members by suing photos that were taken 10 years ago or that aren't a true reflection of them day to day. This in turn leads to instant disappointment on meeting.

Don't fool yourselves, when internet dating someone may indeed fall in love with you online and get to know your personality in depth but the moment you meet, if you don't look like your photograph it will mean nothing. People do NOT understand when they feel they have been misled so capturing someone by using no photo or a photo that is not a truthful representation is a complete waste of time. You are underestimating the power of physical attraction. Now I don't know how many countless times I have heard it said by people that they have learned to look deeper, beyond the outer shell and I am impressed. But its not entirely true. If someone likes the look of you, they like the look of you. If they don't, they won't be interested.

So it is crucial therefore that you use a realistic and recent photo of yourself that is an accurate and in focus portrayal of who you are. Don't even think of using a photo of someone else because its fake and it convinces no one. I often see photos of models on the internet and I know instantly that they are of models. This means that I am unlikely to contact them. A nice natural photo of a real girl will attract me to write. A glamour studio shot won't.

Smiling is critical to the photo you use in your personal ad and you should always try to present a happy face. Smouldering and sultry can work too as can moody, windswept and interesting. But do give some thought to the image you want to portray. You are promoting yourself online so take some care and time to get your image right. Any old photo to hand may not help you much.

The photo you post should be a JPG or a BMP file. Commonly known as a JPEG or Bitmap. Both are easily created through standard window camera software and they don't take up a large file size. However do ensure for most dating websites that you keep the final resolution down so that the file is accepted on the website. for example allows 4 photos of 100kb each. If you don't know much about cameras and photo images, recruit a friend to assist and they can take some nice shots of you too.

Begin by posting a couple of your favourite photos (no more than a year old) and see what kind of reaction you get. If you don't get the reaction you like, change your photo profile in your personal ad until things change. Try not to use fuzzy web cam shots if possible and definitely do not post sexually explicit photos as you come across in a terrible light - you will look like a tramp or sleaze merchant. Also be aware that some web cam images are of a different standard and although they are listed as JPG files they will not post onto dating websites.

Look at the photo personals of other people on the dating site you joined and see if you can match their style of shot. It will be immediately obvious which ones work best because you will like to look at them more than others. I like side profiles with head turned towards the camera in close up with a nice smile. It tells me everything I need to know. As they say - every picture tells a story.

Here are some tips to remember when using photo personals and internet dating services:

Always add a photo to your profile

Take a lot of photos and use the best

Buy a digital camera for its versatility and it helps reduce the cost in the long run. Its fun too.

Ensure the photos are recent

Ensure you are smiling in them or at least presenting the best image

Try and keep the photo file size down

Ensure the photo is bright and clear

Ensure it is an accurate portrait of you now

Add more than one photo if possible and swap periodically

Don't add revealing sexy shots

Try and avoid web cam shots which are grainy

If you don't want to use a photo start to think about your levels of self confidence and appearance and how things can be altered

Remember that photo personals are very popular

by Ian McNeice
Posted by LC at 09:15 AM | TrackBack

Commitment - essentials of long-lasting relationships

I think I've nailed down the important things in any relationship (whether friendship or more...).
(1) Commitment

Needs no explanation.

Well, I think it's one of those things you may not understand until it's tested. Seeing what people do rather than what they say best discovers character things. Perhaps it might help to have a commitment to continuous renewal of the relationship.

(2) Communication

We talk about our feelings and our opinions, including about problems we might have--we know we aren't mind readers.

I believe a lot of this is being willing and able to understand the other person's perspective.

(3) Compatibility

We got to have *some* things in common, esp. the major things, like values, kids, etc.

The more deep rooted it is, the more it should be compatible. For instance, the fundamental values of people's lives (the things that make it worthwhile, the things they wake up for in the morning) should be compatible.

(4) Cooperation

Translation: Give-and-take.

I think each person should be willing to give in about 80% of the time, because during various years, that's what each person will be doing.

(5) Sex

Sex is the superglue of marriage!

There is nothing that replaces it for expressing total love and also for making up with someone that is driving you crazy. Sometimes sitting around "talking about THE RELATIONSHIP" is a crashing bore.

Doing something about it in a non-verbal form is never boring.

Posted by LC at 08:50 AM | TrackBack