Online Dating and Personals Network - LoveCompass - Weblog

7 Secrets to Winning the One You Want!

Have you ever felt frustrated trying to get the one you want to want you back? Have you ever felt like the cause was hopeless and there's just nothing you can do to win their heart'

Such frustrations are common. All human beings are subject to them and while there is no way to completely avoid them there is a way through them to success. The way requires a basic understanding of those principles that motivate the human heart in the first place, and a patient application of those principles in the second.

If you will systematically apply those principles in a rationally thought out strategy which has been determined ahead of time, you will ultimately reap the rewards of your efforts.

Applying the principles is up to you, but today I would to share with you a few truths relating to love and romance:

"In Love" is a form of dependency. Therefore, if you want someone to be in love with you, you will have to make up your mind to meet their emotional needs so that they can grow dependent upon you. This includes hundreds of hours of listening to them while they talk and you, for the most part, are just attentively silent.

People are attracted to independence and repulsed by those who seem to cling. Therefore, to avoid scaring off a potential love you must throw in a lot of apparent aloofness while trying to win them. If you think this may confuse the one your want about your real intentions, you're right. Sorry, but that's just the way it needs to be in the early stages of romance.

People want what they can't have.

Therefore, you have to hold back form giving yourself completely to the one you want at the first indications they're starting to become attracted to you. Instead of giving the dog the whole steak at once, feed it to him/her one bite at a time, over an extended period of time.
I'm speaking here of deeply shared feeling and your valuable time. These should be rationed out. As to sexual involvement, that should be withheld until after the marriage vows, or you'll reduce their incentive to get there. Why buy the cow when the milk is free'

People's conscious decisions are really subconsciously motivated. Therefore, don't be too concerned by what the one you want says they think they want, or acts like they think they want. You just determine to act on principle and eventually they'll realize that what they really want is you.

People are most drawn to a person with a positive and confident self-image. Therefore, resist the temptation to spill your feeling of self-doubt. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than somebody who insists on bursting your bubble and destroying the image they want to have of you.

People's attitudes are really a reflection of what you think of them. Therefore, while not wearing your heart on your sleeve, you must still prove though your actions that your friendship to them is a committed one. This takes time.

The longer a relationship grows, the stronger it becomes. Therefore, if you mess up along the way, take comfort in the fact that tomorrow is another day, and the fact that you prove you have lasted and learned from yesterday's hardship, will in itself add to their feelings of commitment to you in the long run.


From:www.adultdatefind.com

Getting Noticed

It's all about getting noticed! Here are a few tips to get the most out of flirting or dating online:
Your Profile
Think about it - if you were going out to hoping to meet someone, chances are you'd take a bit of time to dress up or down depending on your style and the type of person you'll be looking to meet. The same goes for your online profile.

The old saying about first impressions was never truer than now online; you may only have a few seconds to make the right impression. So take a while to get it right. Most importantly, be honest. If you claim to be Arnie in The Terminator and turn out to be a stand-in for Mr Bean, chances are you'll not be off to a great start.

Let's look at the basics:

Your Screen Name and Profile Headline
Choose something that says something about you and possibly the type of person you'd hope to get in touch with. If you call yourself JacuzziBabe, don't be surprised when you get hundreds of messages from guys not interested in 2.4 kids, a dog and station wagon. However, if you're after a bit of bubbly fun, then you're spot on.

Your Profile Content
You'll notice that most questions have the option of not being answered. Think about those that you leave blank. You may prefer not to answer a specific question (your religion, for example) but leaving some others (say, eye-colour) tends to just look like a sloppy profile. When it comes to the 'narrative' section, take some time over it. We can't all be Oscar Wilde, but a few well-written lines will go along way to getting noticed.

Photos
It's a fact: profiles with photos get much more attention. Choose photos that are clear and uncluttered. Ideally, use photos that have you as the only person in the picture to avoid confusion. Besides, your friends and family might not want to be published online, so respect their privacy.

Update Your Profile
Not getting the attention or responses you'd like? Review your profile regularly and update it every now and then. Keep it fresh!

A few simple ideas and you should be off to a flying start.

Posted by LC at 08:36 AM | TrackBack

Online Dating Safety

So you've taken the plunge and set up a profile online... (If you haven't, what are you waiting for!) What now? Sit back and wait for the messages to flow in, or go looking, the choice is yours. Whatever you choose to do, here are a few practical guidelines to think about.

Flirting and dating on-line is no different to doing it off-line, just a lot safer and easier if you do it right. Most of the 'rules' are common sense. Your mother was most probably right - you just don't have to admit it.

Create The Right Impression Make sure your profile is not misleading. Give the wrong idea and you'll be sure to get the wrong response or no responses at all.

Think About What You Say When contacting another member for the first time or responding to a message, think about it. As tempting as it may be to walk up to a stranger at a party and place a hand on their sexy butt, chances are you wouldn't. So don't do it online, unless of course there is a large sign that says 'Touch Me!'

Personal Details The greatest thing about being online is the safety and privacy it affords you. Just be careful! When you start corresponding with people don't give out your personal details too early. Build up a sense of mutual trust first. Keep your last name, telephone number, email address, place of work and exact family details private until you are ready to share them.

Don't be Pushed Watch out for people pressing you for your personal details too early and too often. Also, hang back on meeting off-line until you are ready.

Inconsistencies Keep an eye out for changes in content and style in the messages you receive. If Mr Loving Kindness suddenly starts sounding like Carlos the Jackal on testosterone it may be an idea to back off or move on.

Meeting Off-Line This is the big one! You mailed each other, chatted and are ready to take the plunge and meet for real. Whilst taking your brother from the commandos with you may ensure your safety, chances are your date may get nervous, or prefer him to you!

Make your first few meetings in public places, ideally at lunchtime if you can. If you have a mobile phone take it with you and possibly take a pre-arranged call. Tell someone where you are going and try to have plans for after your date - don't be caught out with "so what are you doing after dinner?". Have your answer ready. Don't give out your home or work address and don't give in to pressure.

And guys, all this applies to you to. The chances of being taken for a ride by women may be less, but don't discount it.

Most importantly, relax, have fun and keep things safe.

From:sareunited.datingbuzz.com

Dating After a Divorce or Break Up...

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Will I Learn To Date Again?

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After a divorce, many people are worried about starting to date again. It is common for individuals to feel like starting over is helpless. Others ask themselves, "would someone really want me?" To this I suggest that you take some time to make yourself the best you can be. Work on improving your own self and self-esteem. Do things that lift you up and make you feel more confident. Once you have done this you will be more prepared to start dating. Dating requires confidence in self.

Dating During A Divorce

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Q: How long should I wait to date someone who is going through a divorce?

A: Going through a divorce is a difficult thing to do. Often people who quickly jump into relationships--during a divorce are not ready for to deal with a new relationship. They will try to, because they want to feel wanted and needed. However, it is important for them to deal with their past, and resolve any issues before moving on. I don't think there should be a time frame on healing from a divorce. However, I do think that a relationship after dating should be taken slowly and carefully.

One caution I would offer is that you don't get caught between the person you are wanting to date and their soon to be ex-spouse. In general, it is not wise to date someone until their divorce is over. This can prevent you from unknown issues and problems with ex-spouses, children, potential in-laws, etc.--

It is also to watch out for someone who wants to date you and is pressuring you into a quick marriage or relationship. This is a "red flag." It is always wise to take your time and get to know someone in many situations before you get too serious in a relationship.

Take Your Time

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After going through a divorce many people feel lonely and desire the companionship of someone. All too often individuals in this situation find someone who will give them a little attention and loving. Unfortunately, this type of relationship is built on a weak foundation. Therefore, I suggest to people who are just ending a marriage to take their time. Rushing into a new relationship, all to often leads to the same kind of a marriage that was just ended.

Will Anyone Ever Find Me Attractive?

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Sometimes after we have been through a divorce we feel like no one could find us attractive. Often this occurs because our previous spouse was abusive and told us that we weren't attractive. If you have bought such a line, I suggest that you step back and look at what you have to offer. An ex-spouse may have told you that you would never find someone, but don't believe it. If you work to make yourself the best you can be, then you can go forward with confidence in who you are.


These after divorce dating tips provided by: lifetips.com

Have Fun on your Date, don't just

10 Tips For Frugal Daters

You have found a possible soul mate, but now you are worried of the cost of the whole wooing process because you’re on a thrifty budget. Well, do not fret over it because there are alternative ideas. It is possible to date with little or no cash flow and it can allow you to be creative while having a frugally fun time.

1.Do some star gazing at a local college observatory. It is open to the public during the school year and it’s absolutely free.

2.Feel one with nature. Have a picnic and explore a state or national park (admission is typically under $10 or free).

3.See a music laser show at a planetarium for around $6.00.

4.Check out a poetry reading or other events at a bookstore. Sometimes snacks or beverages are provided.

5.Create a food themes night and cook each other a dinner and appetizer at home.

6.Check out local arts festivals, craft fairs, flea markets or antiques fairs. Admission is typically under $10.

7.Attend a beer or wine tasting. At less than $10 each, you get more buzz for your buck!

8.Swing is back. Take a dance lesson and tear up the dance floor with the hottest moves. Often, the first lesson is free.

9.Attend a student art show. Often the shows are free and refreshments follow.

10.Rent your favorite movies or see a Pay Per View movie for under $10.



By Dateable.com

Dating expert Carolyn McKline trawls through the oodles of dating tips available and compiles her practical advice for real people

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Speed Dating can be a great and easy way of meeting available people in your area, but the nature of this beast requires a little extra attention to detail. From the goodness of my heart (plus a paltry commission) I’ve compiled some guidelines to help you get the most from your evening. I even put it in a nice easy to read list so no excuses!
Do:

• 1. Use your flirting techniques- if you’re interested let them know! Eye contact, the occasional friendly touch and using the date’s name often are useful tools. Unless you really want them probably best to stay clear of licking your lips suggestively!
• 2. Have a number of stock questions ready. Five minutes may not seem a lot but there is nothing worse than drying up.
• 3. Dress well (and this applies to men too!) Speed Dating tends to attract the fashionable and well groomed.
• 4. Observe basic safety guidelines when meeting matches. Meet in a public place, tell a friend where you are going, don’t give out your home address to easily. In other words, USE YOUR COMMON SENSE!
• 5. Use the break and “after dating” times to chat and meet. If you fluffed your lines during your scheduled date, don’t be scared to make an approach later for a second chance.
• 6. Be careful what you eat, particularly if food is served during the dating. Is your date likely to enjoy the sight of you gorging on noodles? Probably not. Stick to simple, non-spicy food you can share.
• 7. Relax. Research has proven that over anxiety in potential partners is one of the 3rd biggest turn off for women and the 5th for men.

Do not:

• 1. Tell lies! Might seem like a good idea at the time, but how long could you pretend to be a brain surgeon/dolphin trainer/ballerina for if you met again?
• 2. Have unrealistic expectations. Speed Dating can be a great way of meeting available people in a short space of time but it may be unrealistic to expect a string of dates on the back of the evening.
• 3. Forget to fill out the Speed Dating cards after each rotation. There is nothing worse than getting to the end of the night and pondering that special person with the wonderful eyes and thinking: “Now what was their name?”
• 4. Use excessive swearing. This is often a big turn off for both sexes.
• 5. Talk overtly on controversial topics. Of course you don’t want to be completely bland, but think about it- would you really like to listen to your rant on Israel’s conduct in Palestine ?
• 6. Be tempted to give your personal contact details on the evening. Might seem like the most natural thing in the world at the time but email contact is safer, and more fun, to start with.
• 7. Get blind drunk. You can imagine it- the music pumping, the lights down low, meeting a string of attractive, unattached strangers…and you flat out on the floor telling the nearest person: “I love you, I’ve always loved you…” Watch those matches fly in. Not.

From:www.originaldating.com

Do you Want to be a Good Guy or a Bad Guy ?

Listen, it all depends on what you want, if you want sex than you need to be a bad guy and never be emotional, but if you want love and if you want a girl to be honest with you when she tell's you how much she loves you, than you need to be a good guy!

Bad Guy's = Get Sex, and nothing more... they are being used.... and after sometime these popular bad guy's with all the chicks become alcoholics or addicted to drugs, do to the depression that naturally comes when being used by chicks without feelings... ( Believe me I've seen this happen many times to the most popular men! )

Good Guy's = Get less sex, but are more happy... because they know that someone somewhere is thinking of them everyday... Also having sex with someone you love, feels like you're having sex with 100 women alltogether you get maximum orgasm!

Our life on earth is a journey, where we are allways in the search of the questions we cannot seem to answer and all the unanswered questions keeps making us feel as if we only exist and die into nothingness, it can feel at times as if we were never born and only dream this life, which can make our stay on earth very lonely!

There has only been one thing proven to mankind which can beat the lonelyness forever, and it is LOVE my friend, just find it and you will feel it!

So how do you know if you have found "TRUE LOVE" well if you date a girl and the tears from your eyes starts to fall as soon as you look deep inside her eyes or as soon as her gentle skin touches you, then this is love and when you're not with her you will see her beautiful eyes where ever you look, and you will be so afraid, afraid that you might someday loose the one you love, so all you will be wanting to do will be to hold on tight to her and keep whispering in her ears how much you love her!

This feeling is what I call = To Feel Heaven here on earth!

But be warned my friend....
Before you jump into true love, make sure you can survive if something goes wrong...

If the one you love someday tells you that she doesn't love you anymore or she goes away, you will feel the greatest of all pains, it will feel as if you had to die to survive....

The Joy Love brings is the greatest joy of all, and the sadness is the worst you can feel....

If you ask me this is a risk I would take, after all do you really know how much time you got left here on earth ?

Thankyou for reading my friend I'm allways here to help my fellow human beings, may God Bless.

Women Will No Longer Be a Mystery!

For most women, it seems we hit a soft spot. In taking on this project our purpose wasn't to put women down, or to put them in check; instead it was to explain in-depth the fronts that many women unconsciously put up, the emotional processes that motivate their actions towards you, how to play off their emotional processes to make them think you're the man, how to recognize the signs of a girl that's leading you on, and then how to make her fall for you when you do.

This is absolutely THE DATING GUIDE TO END ALL DATING GUIDES. Women nowadays have a lot of attitude, and if you're a single guy there's a lot you need to know if you want a relationship, or just a one night affair. The truth is, women like the attention they get from guys, and that's why many of them go from one to the next. You have probably seen this for yourself. Susie Homemaker is a thing of the past. Many of today's young women are manipulative and scandalous and most guys have found out the hard way.

Make Your Dreams Come True!



From:dating-websites.net

Dating Tips

... A Date

Two people organizing to meet, and partake in some sort of activity together. Such as going to dinner, having drinks, going to a dance club, going to the movies or a theatre production, going to a sports event.

Dating

To go on a date with someone more than once can be considered dating. Not limited to just one person, some people will be dating a couple of people at the same time.

Seeing someone

Same as dating. Usually you have gone on dates, met a few times just to talk to each other, and possibly even spent the night at each others houses.

Dating Exclusively

Dating only one person exclusively. A more serious relationship then just casual dating, becoming an official couple.

Blind date

Two people meeting for a date, who have never met before. Usually organised by mutual friends. Also known as a "Set Up".

Long Distance Relationship

When two people seeing each other exclusively live in different towns, cities, states, or even countries. The LDR can work if both parties are both extremely devoted to each other, and are willing to make sacrifices for the relationship.

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Dating Rules - Do's

• Always try to look your best and be on time for your dates.
• Remember to have fun! Although finding Mr or Miss Right may be a serious issue for you, dating is suppose to be fun.
• Flatter or compliment your date. Chances are they spent just as much time getting ready as you did, and its nice to hear praise for your efforts.
• Be interested in what your date has to say.
• Be honest with your date if you are not interested in seeing them again. Keeping their hopes up is a horrible thing, and you would hate to be lied to, so just tell them. In the nicest way possible.
• Date the kind of people that you like and are attracted to, and forget about what type of person your friends like. Their approval proves nothing.
• Stay positive even if your dates don't end well. We all have to date a few frogs before we find our prince, and who knows, you might make some great friends and contacts along the way.
• Be proactive in the search for a date. You can't expect people to come knocking on your door, so get out there and meet some people. Be friendly to everyone and practice your flirting.
• Surround yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Good friends assist each other in dating and romantic matters. Negative friends who disapprove of the dating scene or are not part of it, will only bring you down.

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Dating Rules - Don'ts

• Don't call someone more than once a day, unless they reply. Desperation is a huge turn off.
• Don't repeat the same mistakes and date the same kind of people.
• Men should never ever be late for a date, as chivalry is NOT dead and a woman should not be kept waiting and have to seat herself.
• Don't lie to your date, or pretend to be something you are not. If things work out, having to confess a lie down the track could ruin things.
• Never be available all the time. Keep a little mystery about yourself, and be interesting and not always available.
• Don't tell everything about yourself from the start. Keep a little mystery about yourself, and your date will be left hanging for more.
• Don't check out other people when you are on a date. No matter how subtle you think you are, chances are they will notice and it is just plain rude.
• Don't get drunk on a date. You'll end up saying something you shouldn't.
• Don't trust anyone until you get to know them. Think about your safety. Carry a mobile phone with you, tell your friends where you will be, and have your first dates in public places.
• Don't give out too much personal information on the first date. Wait until you are sure of you date before giving your phone number and home address.
• Don't have sex on the first date if you want to continue dating them.
• Don't date a married person. If they are serious, they will leave their partner before pursuing another person. If you are married, separate first. If you are single, remember you deserve much better.

From:www.crush.com

Online Dating - 8 Sizzling Tips To Make Your Profile Standout!

We know one of the hardest part of creating your profile is describing yourself to others.

Following are some time tested nuggets that can assist you in creating a compelling & attention grabbing profile.

Honesty is the Best Policy

As the saying goes, honesty is the best policy. Honesty is taken seriously at Dating pearl.com and it's the single most important thing to remember when writing a great profile. It's much easier to write about yourself if you are honest about who you are. It prevents you from having to spin ways to best sell yourself or guess at what you think other people want to read.

A major part of being honest is not misleading people down the road. People will assume that what you write is true � and you don't want to set people up for a surprise later by stretching the truth in your profile. For example, if you hate mountain climbing, don't say you love it just to grab the eye of an outdoorsy type.

Give Some Thought Of What Sets You Apart.

How are you different? What gives you your unique character? If your friends were describing you, what would be the three things they would all say about you? These are good questions to ask yourself as you get ready to write your profile.

Put Your Negativity Aside

Often times, people start their ad off with, �I�m sick of � !�, � I�m tired of�!� or � I hate Brunette�!� etc. It�s advisable not to include this as the first thing that you want to express in your profile ad. It just gives the impression of too many unhealthy relationships in the past. Instead, try to be more positive & upbeat in your profile. Soon enough you will notice a leap in the response rate.

Stay Open & Be Conversational.

Leave formality at the door and write your profile like you are talking to a good friend. Of course, there are some things you might tell a good friend that you probably don't want to include in your profile. It's a good idea to avoid mentioning past relationships and exes, or discoursing on being lonely or desperate. Be optimistic!

Show How, Don't Tell.

The best profiles show, don't tell, who you are at your best. If you are known for being funny, try explaining how or why you are funny - such as, "I've been known to show up to a party in a wig", instead of "I have a good sense of humor." Paint a picture in their minds of the kind of person you are.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

The importance of this point can�t be emphasized more. Your smile, the background that you're photographed in, what you're wearing; they all paint a picture of what you're truly like. And including a recent photo will get you 800% the attention.

Updating Your Profile Often.

Keep your profile fresh. Every now and then, go back to your profile and update it to let people know you're still out there.

Go Through Your Spelling & Grammar.

Check your profile for typos and spelling mistakes before you submit it. Show that you spent time thinking about them while writing your profile. Always proofread your ad & run it through a word processor, such as Microsoft Word so that you can have your spelling & grammar checked.


by: Amanda Lee

Nice Guys Finish Last

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Besides being the title of a catchy 90’s pop song, the phrase “nice guys finish last” is invariably proven on a regular basis by jerks like me. You may not know me, but I’m sure you know someone like me- loud, aggressive, and wholly unfit to hold a relationship. However, I still seem to get my fair share of attention from the ladies, and you are left scratching your head in bewilderment. Don’t worry you nice guys, it really isn’t your fault.

Back in the day, and I’m talking when we humans were hunter gatherers hunting wooly mammoths, relationships were a lot like what you’d see on Animal Planet. If two of us males were out hunting, and we came across a beautiful woman, whoever got her first would sling her over his shoulder and lumber off into the sunset, even if it meant beating you in the head with my club. Once I had impressed them with my ability to protect them, I had immediately sealed the deal.

Ok, so you don’t live in a cave (Unless you live in the basement) but you can still learn a valuable lesson here. People, not just women are attracted to power, and to status. While you may lack bulging biceps, you might still have a stunning intellect, or a fat trust fund. Every person has a unique angle they can use to show that they are capable of being the provider for a woman, so make sure you play to your individual strengths. Also, remember we are talking long term strengths here, so don’t go bragging about how much you can bench press. No one cares, trust me. What you should do, is tell her you are planning to be the best bodybuilder in the world, or whatever line you can come up with.

I am living proof that you really don’t need money, good looks, or much else to successfully meet women. What I am very good at, and I do mean talented and super skilled, is being able to convey a message clearly. (Ok, my car and what not don’t hurt, but I keep that on the DL as much as possible). Be like the ape on Animal Planet, beat your chest and show off what you got, because if you don’t every other ape in the jungle is going to anyways so get in the game.


From:dankoleary.squarespace.com

7 Tips for a perfect first date.

Going into the world of dating and “first dates” can be intimidating, especially if you are coming off of a long single hiatus. Most likely, you were in a long term relationship that ended abruptly, and now you are lonely, tired of looking at internet porn, and lacking the confidence to get back out there and meet someone new. Even if you can’t even recall your last first date, if you follow these simple rules, you should come out on top. (Subtle?)

The 7 Steps that make for a great first date.

1. Don’t be stinky. No one likes either of the two extremes, so make sure you take it easy on the perfume and or cologne, and avoid aftershave- not only will it dry out your skin, but you’ll also smell like her Grandpa.

2. Be on time. I’m not suggesting you order up an atomic clock or anything, but be respectful of your time and your dates as well. The night before a big date, I’ll lay out what I’m going to wear, and plan the entire date out on a post it note, which really cuts down on the stress of the big evening. If you are running late, take the 38 seconds it takes to make a phone call- saving yourself an embarrassing moment.

3. Avoid talking about other people you’ve dated like it was Ebola. Look, everyone knows you are hurting, but that is why God invented Prozac and whiskey. No one cares about your heartache except for you, and by talking about your ex all the time, you will make it clear to your new hopeful that you aren’t over them yet. If you really want to dwell in the past, do it alone.

4. Look Presentable. “Yes Captain Obvious everyone knows you should dress up for a date.” Unfortunately for your unmatching ass, you can’t tell the difference between wool and tweed. (Ha fashion joke!) As Allah says, there is no second chance at a first impression, so make sure your socks match, you have a belt on, and your underwear is clean. As a fashion retard, I just go to the mall, see what everyone else is wearing, and copy it. You aren’t in school anymore, so cheat away. Besides, she may start thinking of you as arm candy, and want a little treat for later.0000.jpg

5. Be yourself. The NO-SHIT alert is going off, because this little rule is often overlooked. Don’t try to suddenly become and expert in Tibetan cave painting just because she is. Instead take the time to appreciate your dates depth of knowledge, and try to learn a thing or two. Also, you are not me, so don’t try to pull the same shit I do. When it comes to dating, I’m like Lebron James- tons of talent, developing my skills. So why you may lack my crossover tomahawk jam, you probably posses a fundamentally sound bank shot that I may never take the time to learn.

6. Shut up and listen. No one likes a date that rambles on to fill dead space in a conversation, so take some time out to catch your breath and listen for a minute. This rule is especially important if your date is shy, as they tend to be easily overwhelmed, and may end up having an awful time because of your verbosity. As another reminder, try and avoid highly controversial topics, unless you are a spokesman for PETA or something.

7. Don’t get nervous. If you find yourself feeling a little on edge, order a drink and sink into the lovely haze that is intoxication. While you are at it, order the same for your date, but make it a double. Just remember- both of you are on a first date, and most likely will be nervous and apprehensive. If you want to break the nervous barrier, maintain eye contact when you are talking as long as possible, even to the point of absurdity. If someone were to observe you from across a room, they ought to think you are engaged in some form of hypnosis. Without explaining the science, remember to maintain eye contact, and thank me later.

The final tip to remember is please- don’t try to close the deal on the first date. Consider the first date an interview for a second date, at which time you can get your nasty on.


From:dankoleary.squarespace.com

10 Key Things Every Person Must Know About Dating

Dating, both online or off, can be scary and frustrating. Before jumping into some crazy fling with Pepe’ the gardener, follow these ten tips to help get you off (hehe get you off) to a good start.

1. Be Confident
Confidence, confidence, confidence! And then, repeat it about 10 more times. Nothing is more attractive than a person who is confident in their own skin. Once you are happy in your own skin and self-fulfilled, you will attract the matches you deserve, not just the ones you settle for. So relax and be your genuine self. If not, tell them you are “Dan O’Leary” and hope for the best.

2. Be Interesting
Read the newspaper and know what’s going on in the world. Current events are great conversation starters. Interesting conversation will attract others to start talking to you. I would recommend steering clear of the weather, sports, and politics however. Remember- Paris Hilton good, Israel and Palestine- bad.

3. Increase Your Chances
Don’t limit yourself by dating and approaching only one type of person. I like to pick up on plus size married Nascar fans, you know I’m just trying to keep life exciting. Seriously though, don’t pass on someone until you get to know them. Love happens at the most unexpected times with the most unexpected people- just ask Pepe’ the gardener.

4. Use Great Props
Never leave your home without a prop -a fluffy dog, kids (Should be your own), some cologne, a sweatshirt from your college, an interesting tie, or an interesting book. Whenever I go out, I have pictures on my cell phone of my dogs, my office, and places I’ve recently visited, making me seem significantly less likely to pull a Hannibal the Cannibal. When you meet someone, props can break the ice and help in starting up a conversation. On a related note, leave the dildo at home.

5. Network
Just as you network with your friends, colleagues and family for work, you can call on them to network for you on your dating quest. One of my favorite ways to network online is Myspace.com.

6. Be Honest
Be yourself from the start. If you can’t be yourself, at least pretend to have a giant cock or something. However, most people can sense when you are not being 100% honest and it is a turn off and leaves people feeling weary of you.

7. Be Proactive
Go after what you want. You have nothing to lose by trying, so get out there. Let me say this one more time- nothing ventured, nothing gained.

8. Stay Positive and Have Fun
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Life can be a serious ordeal, and dating can often leave you feeling wornout and tired. (Yeah, boning all night can do that to you). My friend Mike always says, “A smile is the most attractive thing a person can wear”… idealist.

9. Start a Conversation
The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, or state an opinion. The worst opening line is, “I just got out of jail- wanna see my wiener?”

10. Be Patient
The first person (or second or third) you connect with may not be the right one for you (Ok, about 50 in my case). Have patience and realize that you may need to go home with a lot of fat uglies before you meet the person of your (wet) dreams.


From:dankoleary.squarespace.com

Why has internet dating become a great way to meet people from your town ?

...

ou live in Sydney ; you work in Sydney , but darned if you can meet a decent gal in Sydney that you’ve really hit it off with. Isn’t it funny how you just know there’s a city full of wonderful people out there just beyond the horizon that you’re never going to meet?

The sad fact is, most of the great people out there have run up against the same stumbling blocks to dating that you have. They’ve probably tried the bar scene and gotten tired of it or decided it just wasn’t all that safe. Maybe they’ve suffered through a few awful blind dates, too. So what is there left? You could keep your fingers crossed and hope you bump into someone special at the coffee shop on the corner, but the odds are against you.

That’s why internet dating is perfect – you can search for someone special right in your town and find out a little bit about them right from the beginning. With detailed profiles and criteria you can specify, internet dating can help you find people in Sydney (or Toowoomba or Melbourne…) who have lots of interests in common with you – and they could be just around the corner or across town.

In fact, you might have passed them on the street and never known it, but with internet dating you can safely email them and strike up a correspondence, chat, and get to know one another to see if you really click before you eventually meet. All without having to go to a bar or slog through another blind date!



From: www.adamanddrew.com

5 INTERNET SAFETY TIPS

While Internet dating can open many doors for daters, you need to be smart and safe when meeting people online. Use these 5 Net SMART safety tips to protect your privacy.

In addition to these interviews, I personally tested 7 online dating sites, ended up with 4-7 dates/week and found my guy through an online matchmaker. You can also find love online.

When you search for love online, you need to be careful because not everyone has the same value systems. Be cautious when dealing with strangers and take precautions to shield your privacy at all costs.

While the flood of emails that you will receive from Internet dating can be a great ego boost, let these safety tips guide you through email, phone and live contacts.

1. Be Anonymous When Emailing

When you set up your Internet dating profile, matchmaking web sites will give you an account that allows you to stay anonymous. Avoid using anything that could identify you when you select your username or email address.
Set up an email account that is fun and anonymous. For example, if you have an email with your name in it, then do not use this account for online dating. Just figure out any kind of fictitious name or "handle." If you'd like, you can use an email address that reveals something about yourself such as a hobby or personal trivia. For example, my email address was tied to my interest in sailing (ex. pacificsails@hotmail.com). One of my male candidates used "greeneyes" as his username, which helped him stand out in the crowd.

2. Take a Second Look at the Photos

If you are suspicious about the age of a photo that you see on an Internet dating profile, you might want to ask the person for a recent photo. Check out the response and you might just be surprised by what comes back.
One of my dating coaching clients recently sent me two photos of a woman he met online with very different current versus profile photos. He was smart to ask for a recent photo.

I also interviewed a woman for SMART Man Hunting who had a surprising lunch with a guy who did not look anything like his profile photograph. The online photo made him look around 35 with dark hair, and when she went on the date, the guy was completely gray and closer to 50-years-old. You want to avoid this situation if possible.

3. SMART Phone Contact

After several safe email exchanges, you can cautiously move to the next Internet courtship level. Arrange time to speak on the phone and see if the conversation flows or is a struggle.

Because you are still dealing with a virtual stranger, you should use safety guidelines for connecting on the phone. First, if you are a woman, ask for the guy's phone number and use Caller ID blocking (*67) when you call him so that your phone number is not revealed. You can even use Caller ID blocking on most cell phones so always try using *67 when placing first calls.

If you get to the point where you are comfortable giving out your phone number, use a cell phone or alternate number to your home phone. If someone is really creepy and has your home or work phone number, they can search for your address online using whitepages.com.

Trust your gut instincts when you talk to someone on the phone. If someone makes you feel the least bit uneasy or puts you off in any way, just say Next. It won't get better if you meet in person. Remember there are plenty of other candidates out there. Next….

4. Continue to Put "Safety First" When Making Live Contact

When you decide to meet in person, pick a public place and make sure you are familiar with the area before you agree to the location (I skipped this research step and ended up meeting a guy in a restaurant that is in a Los Angeles gang neighborhood because I did not know the area - that mistake did not happen twice).

While you want to relax and have fun on your first date, you still need to play it safe. Meet your potential match at the rendezvous location--never rely on someone you don't know for a ride. Don't even accept a ride home even when you feel as though your date is on the up and up. If you drove, you also want to avoid allowing them to walk you to your car. It's best to even keep the make, model and license plate of your car a secret.
My favorite meeting place is a local coffee shop, but not one too close to your home. If you schedule a lunch or dinner date, use valet parking when possible so that the candidate, who is primarily a stranger at this stage, cannot follow you to your car when you leave.

As a back-up plan, you may also want to give your date details (time, date and location) to a friend. If you are nervous, ask a friend to call you on your cell phone to check-in during the date.

Lastly, hold your cards close to your chest. Be careful about the amount of information you share during these first meetings and phone calls. Never give out your last name or address until you are comfortable with someone's character.

5. Consider Background Checks

If you are curious, there are many ways to find out more about your potential mates. Internet search vehicles can help you find out details about candidates prior to meetings.

By searching on someone's name online, you can easily gather information about their background. For example, if you use Google.com, you might find out about their educational degrees, work history, and personal information (I found out about someone's marriage history and read a strange Valentine online from a guy's ex-wife that made me think twice).

You can also click on the "Groups" button to learn more about their interests or check genealogy sites for family history. And if you get serious with someone you meet online, you can even go to the extreme of hiring a professional investigator to check out their history more thoroughly.

You can make love happen online and protect your privacy. You are playing the dating numbers game and the odds are in your favor that you will find your match. Be smart, safe and trust your gut instincts when dating online.


by Liz H. Kelly

Online Personals Are Cool

...

The musty print classified was never a great way to find a date. Most of the time, all it ever offered was a terse mumble of data: ''SWF, 26, brown eyes and brown hair.'' The online personal is completely different. The ''profile'' of someone looking for romance on a site can overflow with tantalizing information, as when a single woman named Lovebundlenyc reveals that her favorite books include Hunter S. Thompson's ''Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,'' the ''Jeeves Omnibus'' and that children's story about Ferdinand the Bull. Some people make strange, bold proclamations: ''I'm a smooth operator with great hands.'' Others use verbal wit to play with the conventions of the form: ''Unscrupulous Man Seeks Patsy,'' writes one online lonely heart.

Americans have fallen hard for the online personal. While other Internet businesses have been sputtering, online personals are a full-throttle success.

The bigger this pool gets, the more normalized (and less geeky) the process becomes. As with other online social behavior, early adopters had to battle the scary hype: Pedophiles are out there! Liars, creeps and dweebs! But when newlyweds on the Times weddings page casually mention their ''magical'' first e-mail exchange, you know the switch has flipped.

The popularity of online personals has tossed some interesting behavioral mutations into the dating pool. Because potential dates often engage in intimate e-mail before meeting, the first date is far less blind. But the very ease and anonymity of the initial experience -- the way you can browse at 2 a.m., zap a promising profile to a friend for feedback or change your profile or photo at any time -- also encourages social experimentation. This is a particular benefit for women, for whom flirtation with strangers in the wee hours has always carried greater risk. For both men and women, Internet dating may allow singles to make contact with dates outside their social circles. Online glances go beyond the crowded room of one's own insular demographic.

Pundits have denounced the gamelike quality of pointing and clicking at online profiles. And there's some truth to this: with the eBay ease of Internet romance, it's simple to continually dip back in, looking for an improved model. But then, is it really such a crime to make dating more fun?

By: Emily Nussbaum

First Date Tips

Dating can be tough and first dates can be painful. So what are you to do? Here is a list of dating tips to start the year out right!

· Meet your date out and drive yourself. If you want to bail out early, you won't be trapped. Also, when you have your own car. If things work out, you won't have any worries about inviting your date in or not. This helps protect you from your own impulses, because what's worse then "will he respect me in the morning?" is "How much will I hate myself when I wake up?". Also when you have your own car, no need to worry about safety, your date does not know where you live. This protects you from a date turned bad turning in to a stalking nightmare.

· Keep the date simple. You're nervous enough without making a big show, plus you don't want to lock yourself in to an evening you won't enjoy.

· Men, end the date first. You will make yourself stand out.

· Women, don't wear anything low cut or short. It sounds like an old cliché but your first date knows very little about the woman you are. He will take you at face value and you don't want to give the wrong impression.

A friend of mine went out for dinner on a blind date. She is a very conservative women, who really likes to take her time in relationships. All of us who know her know this about her. Her date didn't. She went out on the date wearing a sexy low cut cocktail dress. They went to dinner, had a wonderful evening, and when he walked her to her door, he pounced on her! She was of course surprised and upset, but her date didn't know her, he just took her at face value.

· Wear clothing that you are comfortable and confident in. First dates are uncomfortable enough without a tight belt biting you around the waist.

· Men, be specific about where you are going. This will make the date more comfortable, and will prevent her from wearing a cocktail dress when you are taking her bowling.

· Ask about your date. Each of us knows we are the most interesting subject :) But the most interesting conversationalists are people who ask about others. Great light topics are work, hobbies, sports, kids (if they have any).

· Easy on the perfume. You want to knock his socks off, but you don't want to knock him out!

· Don't forget to use mouthwash before you go out.

· Don't order sloppy food. If you are not paying for what you order, try to stay in the middle of the menu.

· Keep the conversation light! Don't talk or ask about old boyfriends, girlfriends, or ex-spouse. This is a first date, not a therapy session.

· Find out about your dates eating habits before you plan the evening. Make sure you choose a place where they will be able to find something to eat.

· Be attentive! There is nothing worse then a date peering over your shoulder making you feel as if they are looking for something better.

· If you are not paying be considerate of what you order. Try to stay in the middle of the menu.

· And last, but not least, have fun and be yourself!



By Jennifer Klein, Dateable.com

Blind Date by Lu Huskey

The phone rings at 3:00 Monday afternoon and it is your best girlfriend Jenny, inviting you to dinner next weekend. What a nice thought, until she tells you there is “this guy she just knows you’ll like”.

Do these “arranged situations” ever work out; these blind dates that well meaning friends and families attempt to arrange for all of us at some point in our lives? What do we have to lose anyway? Well, let’s just look at what happened when Jenny tried to do this favor for her friend Lisa!

It had been a long Monday for Lisa, and she was ready for a friendly voice on the telephone. When she heard from Jenny, it was the bright spot in her day. Little did Lisa know what an impact this call would have on her life for the next few weeks. Jenny invited her to a restaurant they had both been anxious to try out; a new little Italian place with red checked tablecloths, a real live violinist, and a tempting selection of wonderful foods and wines. This was just what she was needed to plan for to help her get through her week!

But wait, there’s a catch, and he has a name. Jenny knows this fellow named Bob who just moved to town and is a really nice guy. She thought it would be “fun” to do a double date Saturday night with Bob and his friend from work. It sounded harmless since they’ve both wanted to try out the new place, so Lisa accepted Jenny’s invitation and they both made plans to meet at Berelli’s Saturday night.

So far, these girls are doing the right thing by meeting these guys at the restaurant and not being picked up. They don’t know them very well and if for some reason, one (or both) need to duck out, neither will be stuck without wheels.

The weekend rolled around soon enough and Jenny and Lisa had taken a little trip the mall to shop for a couple of cute dresses and matching shoes. They helped each other with their hair that Saturday afternoon, and almost felt like young schoolgirls going out on their first date. In a way it was, for Lisa, since it was her first blind date. She had never done anything like this before, and although she was looking forward to being with her friend, she was a little hesitant about meeting this guy Bob. Anyway, it was just a dinner and that would be it.

They jumped into the car and drove over to Berelli’s, making sure they were “fashionably” late (but just 10 minutes), not to appear over anxious to their gentleman waiting. Bob and William had already gotten a nice table and ordered a bottle of wine, so the scene was set for a lovely evening. What a cute place this new little restaurant was! It looked like a page right out of Italy, with the tables set so beautifully, music filling the room, and Jenny even noticed a quaint little dance floor near the violinist for those who wished to become a little romantic. This was just what she needed, and Bob looked pretty good too. He had a nice smile, good looking suit, and pulled out her chair for her when she sat down. This man is right out of a storybook! Who ever said blind dates are a mistake anyway?

As the evening progressed, the couples seemed to enjoy each other’s company and all four were convinced Berelli’s was a dining experience that they would recommend to their other friends. Lisa was so glad that she decided to take Jenny up on her offer. Actually she had never tried blind dating until that night because of all the horror stories told in the past. She had heard tales of all sorts, and although they were true, perhaps they were exaggerated a bit. They planned another date the next weekend and Jenny hoped that her first blind date would be her last. Bob very well just may be the “Mr. Right” she had been waiting for.

Now that is the way a story should always go, with a happy ending; however, girls (and guys) beware of the blind date. Make sure you handle yourself in a manner that doesn’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of in any way, especially with wine flowing freely all night long. Many times if you have “let your guard down” you can find yourself in a situation you may not be able to handle. For example, if you are really attracted to someone and let him know it, he can sometimes get the wrong impression. It just is always a good idea not to be too friendly on first dates (and sometimes second and third dates) until you really get to know the person and you are certain he respects your wishes.

When employers hire new people, they many times do reference checks, and sometimes even background checks before they hire. You can do the same type of thing by making sure someone knows this person you plan to go out with and hopefully knows something about his past. The last thing you want is to fall in love with some guy or gal who ends up with the reputation of violence or some other seedy problem. These kinds of situations happen all the time. “But they would never happen to me…” we all believe; but they can, so we much be smart about where we go and with whom we go out with.

Lisa got lucky and met the man of her dreams, but unfortunately, that isn’t always the way it works. Thinking back to her story, she originally just planned to have a nice evening and things just happened to work out much better than she expected. Meeting new people is fun; just be sure and use good common sense and keep a safe distance until you know exactly what you are getting into.

Comparative rating of the 10 most typical complexes of men and women

...

Women: 1. Extra weight.	Men: 1. Small penis.
Mass media has done its black deed. Not absence of a good family, not career aspirations, not even success with men tops the list of women's worst phobias. Extra weight - that is what women fear most. Psychologists note that with many ladies this fear is so strong, that it crosses the line between reasonable corresponding to existing norms of beauty, and psychosomatic changes of the body. In which case not the result, but the process of becoming a nymphet comes to the forefront. The problem is that this has provoked an unseen outburst of anorexia and bulimia suffered mostly by young women and teenagers.	On the contrary, this is the case lost by mass media to common wisdom, society stereotypes and other forms of popular obscurantism. The fact that every magazine - from glossies to specialized medical ones - insists on calling micropenis an organ less than 2 sm. in a non-erected state does not lessen the number of those willing to enlarge their genitalia. Proving to men that size in sex is not important is just as meaningless as proving to women how appetizingly sexy plumpness can be.
Men: 2. Low social status.	Women: 2. Cellulite.
This is men's analogue of cellulite. The second place in the rating doesn't mean that absolute majority of men are homeless people or janitors. Boys' chorus, singing "I'm a looser, baby" consists of clerks, white collars, middle-level managers, etc. Those who know - theoretically - that to be a well-to-do member of society one has to have a platinum credit card, a covergirl for a girlfriend and a small castle with turrets for a home. And who start singing when reality hits them: covergirls and castles belong to their former D-grade classmate, now an oil magnate, while all the ambitious "black coats" have is annual financial reports and long-time perspective to move out of 2-bedroom apartment into a larger one.	Unlike men, who are being constantly convinced that mind - not centimeters - is of greater importance, women firmly know that even the highest IQ will not make the "orange peel" skin more attractive. Hundreds of books have been written on the problem, including the ones suggesting how to fight it, although no scientist has yet clearly explained where it comes from. The most popular version shows cellulite as a consequence of too much estrogen in the body. What a paradox - "orange peel" is an inseparable companion of femininity. And an inexhaustible source of income for beauty parlors and psychoanalysts.
Women: 3. Fear of age.	Men: 3. Fear of impotence.
Beauty industry applying revolutionary know-hows, cosmetic surgeons working wonders with faces and bodies, 70-year old movie stars looking younger than their granddaughters - none of this eliminates women's fear of becoming old and faded. Mostly these are women aged 30 to 50, used to taking care of their appearance. Specialists say age dictatorship has to be defeated on a psychological level. Probably when job offers are not limited by "age of 30 and less" or when stating date of birth in passport is outlawed.	Fear of non-performance in bed - that is fear of being humiliated in front of a woman - is even worse than a good dressing down from the boss. Fiasco in bed is especially dangerous because it can ruin men's self-esteem even faster than a brick coming down from a skyscraper. Searching for the origins of the problem should start in the past. In most cases the reason is one of the very first unlucky sexual experiences, which pops up in the head at a most inappropriate moment. The fear of loosing one's masculine power is subconscious - the nature must once have decided that only extremely self-assured species with nerves of rope are worthy of leaving their genes in posterity.
Men: 4. Insufficient material well-being.	Women: 4. Absence of success with men.
Money at present period of time has become the main symbol of one's virility, having ruled out even such values as intelligence and physical strength. Unfortunately, women are mostly very tactless in this matter, proving by their behavior that "rich can never be small". And although sociologists note constant growth of families where wife earns more than husband, this does not mean that all those husbands easily accept it. Men nowadays can afford living at the expense of their women, but to great detriment of their self-esteem.	Flirting, love affairs and sex are the greatest entertainment presented to humankind by Providence. Being left out of this never-ending holiday is painful, hurting and humiliating. When lack of adoring fans reaches its critical level, woman's organism turns on every "defensive mechanism" existing in it: extreme diffidence, anguish and disgust for life finally turn into desire to change something. That means going to a boutique, beauty parlor or plastic surgeon for a different nose. The most advanced ones get rid of the "bluestocking" complex in a psychoanalyst's chair, also not unsuccessfully.
Women: 5. Frigidity.	Men: 5. Fears about one's health.
Feminists have declared women's right to enjoy such creature comforts as suffrage, ability to be elected member of Parliament and cunnilingus. And sexologists proclaimed that women not only can, but must derive real pleasure from sexual games. Those who can't they call frigid, thus introducing into women's souls permanent disarray. In reality, cases of true frigidity are very rare. More often inability to derive pleasure from sex is just auto-suggestion or result of incongruity with one's partner.	Who always suffers migraines, gets crazy about whitening one's teeth and spends every spare minute in a SPA-center? That's right. And who never ever goes to any doctor, but in one's heart of hearts constantly fears falling ill with something terrifying like St. Vitus's dance or stomatitis? Such fears are rather frequent visitors of the most healthy and reasonable males. Men are far less tolerant to pain. It might be connected with their much more fertile imagination
Men: 6. Getting bald.	Women: 6. Fear of being "worse than others".
Although of course getting bald cannot compare with women's pangs about "follicular insufficiency" of cellulite, they still can gloat over this misfortune. How pleasant it must be to think about pathetic line of bald men in the hair transplant clinic, waiting to transplant hair from undue places! And television doesn't express its usual delicate approach - "baldness is so attractively aesthetic". Hair transplantation lobby must be much more influential than one could presume.	Men are more interested in real achievements and victories, while women are more inclined to "seem" rather than "be". Women are more prone to suggestion, so they are more often guided by "public opinion". It can be stated that a woman's success is only seen in comparison. Even if her family life is a total mess, she will still dye gray hair every week and accept guests as a model mother and wife.
Women: 7. Fear of being alone.	Men: 7. Impossibility of self-realization.
A megalopolis civilization - that is the actual name for the ugliness most of us are forced to live in - cultivates individuality and dissociation. Loneliness in a big city has long been declared a neurosis, subject to treatment. And women suffer of it much more frequently then men, and more painfully. For women - even if they are quite successful in business - can fully realize their potential only in the family, while men have other ways of realization. Lack of people a woman can care about, lack of family can provoke not only a neurotic dissonance, but consequences of a more harmful nature.	As a rule hits a man at the age of about 40-45 and called "middle-age crisis". Women are more lucky - by this time most of them have already had one or more children. And men start soul-searching, and not only that. All achievements in life are scrupulously counted up and discounted as unsatisfactory. It seems that none of them correspond to the grandeur of starting possibilities. These calculations have nothing to do with real life. The most typical result of such "self-inventory" is desire to have a younger woman for a partner.
Men: 8. Femininity in behavior.	Women: 8. Inability to reach orgasm.
Psychologists proclaim existence of double standard in social treatment of men and women. Men's behavioral model is considered to be a priori positive, that is why to be masculine for a woman is acceptable, while to be feminine for a man is disgraceful. Men conform to the situation and dread any display of femininity, the worst of them being tears (the supreme manifestation of womanhood) and habit of living at someone other's expense.	According to statistical research, about 30% of women do not ever reach orgasm, which came to be considered a disease. In reality such data seems doubtful as research doesn't reveal the reasons for anorgasmic sex. The nature of the recently discovered phenomenon of women's orgasm is not so thoroughly explored as to be able to say why some women cannot reach it. So it is just as unclear why this phobia is at all in the rating of women's fears. It must again be the fault of the patriarchal society with its habit of accusing women of all vices.
Women: 9. Low intellect.	Men: 9. Being short.
"I know only that I don't know anything" is the phrase once said by Socrates, still considered one of the brightest intellects of all times. So the ladies who think that their IQ level is not very high are not in the worst company in the world.	It is common knowledge that being a short man has always been a most powerful stimulus for historical progress and life achievements. But it is also true that the height of most losers does not exceed 1,6 meters. So it must be the lack of brain, not centimeters ...
Men: 10. No sense of humor.	Women: 10. Unsuccessful career.
Men are funny creatures. To suffer from not being able to make a good joke is almost as unreasonable as to suffer from not being able to reach orgasm. But only funnier.	Women are interested in home, family and "what neighbors will say". Successful career is only a newcomer in the list of the successful woman's phobias - fear of not achieving anything career-wise in only about a decade old.

From: www.mydarling.ru

How to make a good photo?

...

The main thing is to be natural and look relaxed. Your picture has to radiate openness, warmth, sexual appeal, approachability, but at the same time speak of confidence and self-respect. Generally speaking, to receive many letters your appearance has to be that of a "covergirl" - a bit mysterious and alluring. On the contrary, the most beautiful girls who look haughty don't get any correspondence at all. So you have to look amiable and friendly.

Almost all men using the services of marriage agencies experience certain difficulties in communicating with the opposite sex. This doesn't imply any psychological deviations, it is just that these men are more diffident than others. If a girl looks haughty and hard to approach, they will not even try to contact her.

An open and unrestrained gaze is vitally important for a good photo. Opened just a bit lips will impart your look with the necessary sexuality.

Another way to receive many responses to your ad is to show the brightest of your smiles. If your face is far from the generally accepted standards of beauty, a bright smile will make it more attractive. Ordinary girls with open smiles and quality make-up can look outright gorgeous in the picture.

Some women say that "smile doesn't fit them". That's untrue! Smile fits any face, the only thing that it has to be sincere and open, not forced. Think of something nice and funny, or someone you like - your kid, mother, or your friends. If you can't manage "Hollywood" smile, try semi-smile (so-called "Mona Lisa" smile). Try to avoid "crooked" smiles, they are very unattractive and scare potential partners away.

Relax, the photographer will not eat you. Tell him about the aim of your photo session - this will help you. You might feel a bit awkward telling about it, but he'll guess anyway. Knowing about the ultimate aim of the session will make it easier for him to "catch" the right moment when you look your best.

Remember that looking on the photo men try to guess your character. If you look amiable and friendly they decide that you are just like that in real life. If you look strained and detached (as most of us in front of the camera!), they decide that you are a tight-lipped pessimist.

And of course you have to look young, or at least youngish. It is common knowledge that men go crazy about 50-year old women with loose hair, taking no notice of younger women with up-done hair-dos. Your real age is no importance whatsoever. You have to look young, and that's that.

If you feel that your appearance "doesn't make it", add a little sexuality: uncover your hands and shoulders, cleavage, legs. Even if you know that you are not a beauty, looking sexy in the photo will help receive many letters.


From: www.mydarling.ru

Dating Tips

Hints on how to make it hot...

Choose somewhere easy
Avoid crowded places on your first date so you can spot each other easily. Maybe wear something distinctive, although you'll probably want to avoid the carnations or silly hats.

Tell a friend
Always tell a friend where you are going, and meet somewhere public for your first date. It's also best to make your own way to and from the venue - don't get your date to pick you up. After your first meeting, if you don't feel comfortable, don't continue the relationship. Simple as that.

Don't break the bank
You don't have to flash your cash on a first date, so why not meet for a coffee or lunch? You can then decide if you'd like to spend more time and money on another date.

Go dutch
It's sometimes a good idea to agree to split the bill before your date, so you'll avoid any awkward situations when the plates have been cleared.

Be considerate
If you need to cancel a date, call the other person in good time.

Don't get disheartened
You might not meet the right person straight away - don't be disappointed. Relax, be yourself and most importantly, have fun. Every week we attract new advertisers and respondents.

Make it safe
Arrange meetings in public places, eg restaurants, pubs, etc, not in your home. Don't give your address until you are sure that you want to continue the relationship. Trust your instincts and don't meet again if you have any doubts. On your first meeting, it is best to make your own way to and from the venue. It is best not to accept an offer of transport. Leave details of your meeting with family or friends when seeing a respondent for the first time.These points may seem over-cautious, but if the person you meet is genuine, they will understand.

Why Your Tribal Brain Makes You Nervous

Let me share with you a little secret about how all men's brains - including YOURS - is wired when approaching woman.

Have you ever thought to yourself, WHY do I get nervous or anxious when approaching a woman? After all, if you approach 5 or 6 new women every day, if you could be absolutely fearless and confident with women, your love and sex life would probably explode. So why would you get nervous and anxious at all -- seems like your brain isn't doing what's best for you does it?

Just take me, for example. Normally, I can approach any women, anytime, anywhere. Even if I screw an approach up, I usually feel fine about it and it doesn't stop me from making the next one.

However, last weekend I was at one of my sister's parties. The place was packed with single girls. Yet when I saw a girl I liked, I would freeze up and this little voice in my head would tell me, "What if you screw up... maybe you shouldn't do this... be careful!"

I just couldn't get that little voice out of my head and I left the party after only an hour because I was getting frustrated with myself.

So how come I could approach an anonymous woman on the street who I'll probably never see again, and yet feel anxious about approaching a woman at one of my sister's parties?

The answer lies in how humans evolved. For most of history, men and women lived in small groups of hunters and gatherers of no more than 100 individuals. If you made a move on ANY woman - and she rejected your advances - EVERYONE would know about it. And that would mean MASSIVE negative social proof with all of your potential mates. Because if one woman rejected you, you'd look like a loser to ALL of the other women you could mate with. You'd seriously jeopardize your ability to ever get laid again and have children.

So your shyness and nervousness is actually a DEFENSE to protect you from looking like a reject in the tribal setting. And that's why, when my sister and her friends were watching me that night at the party, I FROZE UP. After all, if I screwed my approach up with any girl, my sister and ALL of her friends would have seen me - and that would have looked really bad!

However, in today's world we DON'T live in small bands of hunters and gatherers. We DON'T have to worry about one rejection influencing all of the other females (potential mates) we know. In fact, in today's world, when we have the opportunity to approach a woman, we're COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. We can screw up badly and there are ABSOLUTELY NO CONSEQUENCES!

So we've spent millions of years adapting to an environment where rejection from a girl could mean disastrous consequences - and only in the last few hundred years has the situation completely changed. In other words, what was once a useful strategy for being genetically successful (i.e. being cautious when approaching women) is no longer a successful genetic strategy at all!

In today's modern society of anonymity, being nervous, shy, or cautious is DISASTROUS as far as getting laid. Shyness is a computer program in your brain, evolved over millions of years, that is meant to help you and protect you -- but now only hinders you. Times have changed, but your brain hasn't.

That's why you need advanced techniques that change the very core of your psychology from the inside out! And that's one of the reasons you need advanced seduction technology, including hypnosis and NLP... so that you won't be prisoner to millions of years of evolutionary programming like everyone else.


By Derek Vitalio

Safe Dating Tips

You know, online dating on the web is generally extremely safe, especially friendly and great fun It is safe dating because it is distance dating - simple. You do not come into contact with others initially and this may well provide you with a comfort factor that also allows you to pace yourself and be rightly choosey.

If possible though, you should try and follow a few basic online safe dating principles before deciding to pass over personal contact information to a relative stranger or arrange to meet them. It's all too easy to get a little carried away when viewing personal ads so take things slowly and take a rain check every now and again.The tips here may appear obvious to you but we think that if you do try and follow them, it can only assist you in ensuring you have happy online dating experiences. And you never know, Mr. or Miss Right may be just round the corner. We really hope so.

• Always trust your instinct, after all it has got you this far in life already.
• Take your time and view plenty of personal ads first.
• Do not publish your phone number or email address in personal ads.
• Don't take everything at face value.
• Do ask lots of questions when chatting.
• Ensure you feel comfortable at all times whoever you are chatting with.
• If someone is abusive to you, block them straight away.
• Don't provide your home or work address to anyone you have not met.
• Before agreeing to a date, check that you know as much as possible

Don't allow yourself to be talked into anything, whatsoever! You are the one in charge.

Also consider the following:

• Take your time to get to know someone. Don't be rushed
• A patient person will be happy to wait until you are ready to meet
• Make sure you see plenty of photos if possible of the person you make friends with
• Ask your date to leave a message in your voicemail box before hand if possible
• Chat on the phone for a while before arranging a date, get to know each other
• Always meet in a public place that is well known and convenient to you
• Always tell a good friend where you are going, and who you are meeting
• If possible phone your friend during the date to confirm all is fine

And perhaps consider these points too:

• Always carry a cellular phone on a date if you have one
• Lunchtimes are good for dating, convenient, and they have a time limit
• Always make your own travel arrangements on a date initially
• Do not accept a lift home on the first date or reveal your address
• If travelling far, organize your own accommodation and confirm it
• Ensure you have as much information about your date as possible
• Keep your first date to a time limit so that you have an "exit" point
• Don't feel you owe it to someone to meet them, you do not!

When we think of safe dating by sets of rules like this it can all get pretty silly and scary but the fact is that we are introducing ourselves to strangers without the company of friends. It will always be a wise choice to have a friend close by even if they are sitting at a nearby table. But whatever you decide is best for you, keep your wits about you and enjoy your date !!



by Ian McNeice

Ten Ways to Keep Romance Alive

1. Don't Stockpile Anger: Deal with whatever is bothering you in the moment. Stored resentments destroy romance in two ways: 1) they cut off positive feelings; and 2) they eventually explode in words or actions that destroy the relationship. No relationship, no romance.

2. Play Together: Sharing fun times builds intimacy, the soil for romance. Make a snowman. Have a pillow fight. Play together like you did when you were young.

3. Grow Together: Trees grow until they die, so why shouldn't people. If either of you stop growing, the relationship will feel stuck in a rut. A relationship in a rut means no romance. To break out of the rut, and rekindle romance, start growing together. For example, take a course on a subject that interests you both.

4. Make a Date: A fun way to keep romance alive is to recreate one of your first dates. Dress the same as you did way back when, visit the same restaurant. Doing so will resurrect the old feelings of excitement.

5. Take a Trip Down Memory Lane: Travel together to a spot you visited when you were lovers. If you can't get there in person, then look at the photos of one of your early trips. Remember the smells, sights and sounds. Recall how you felt back then. Recreate a special moment from that trip, right in your own livingroom.

6. Take Initiative: An excellent way to rebuild and maintain romance is to take initiative. Do something for your mate that you know he or she likes (like, a candlelit massage. Or prepare a favorite dish). The point is: taking initiative, conveys your love, boosts intimacy and sparks romance.

7. Keep Listening: If you have been together for a while, you may assume that you know everything about your partner. Many long-term couples stop asking what the other partner needs, thinks or feels; this pattern leads to feelings of neglect--a major romance killer. Never assume that you know what your mate thinks, feels or wants, no matter how long you've been together. Keep asking and keep listening in order to keep romance alive.

8. Keep Sex on the Front Burner: Many couples that have been together for a while, cut back on sex. Research says that unresolved anger kills sex drive. Follow step one (don't stockpile anger) and keep on trucking in the sex department. Make sex dates, try new positions and locations. Do whatever you know turns your mate on. Good sex boosts romantic feelings.

9. Say I Love You: If you remember to say "I love you" (or other caring statements) five times a day, romance will stay. Remember five times a day and the romance will stay.

10. Isn't It Romantic?: Never assume that you know what your mate finds romantic. For one spouse, watching a football game, clutching a beer, is the height of romance. For the other, this scenario might be the height of boring. So, make sure you find out, what rings your mate's chimes. Then, don't file the information away, like an old research project. Put your information into practice and say and do what your mate finds romantic. romantic.



by Dr.Love

Speed Dating

Speed dating has recently become a popular alternative to blind dates or going to singles bars. It’s a fun, efficient way to meet several people in one evening instead of spending lots of time and money on one date with someone you’ve just met and may not hit it off with.

Speed dating is popular because it’s so much fun and gives you so many opportunities in one evening. Generally in one evening you’ll have the chance to meet about eight different people for “mini dates” that are not longer than ten minutes each.

You have just enough time to talk to them, find out the basics and see if there’s any chemistry, then it’s on to the next date. At the end of the evening, you mark down the first name of anyone you’d like to get in touch with and if they also express interest, you are given each other’s information.

There’s an intermission when you can mingle and meet other people you weren’t matched with, and if you came with a friend the two of you can compare notes over drinks and appetizers. It’s a great girls or guys night out combined with the opportunity to safely “meet and greet” others who are interested in dating.

So for the cost of one evening out, you’ve met at least eight people you know are interested in the same things you are and are open to dating. You’ve had a few drinks and some great food, and when you leave you may be looking forward to a real date with the third speed date of the night, but the next time for the whole evening. No wonder it’s popular!



From:adamanddrew.com

Dating someone with kids. Straight talk to men and women about dating, when one or both have kids.

A ready-made family can be a blessing or a deal-breaker when it comes to dating. Many single parents are afraid to begin dating again, because they think their children make them less desirable. By the same token, many non-parents are put off by the idea of dating someone with kids because they don’t want to seen as a convenient surrogate parent. Yet many relationships flourish despite, or even because, of the children. In many cases, the joys of a “blended family” can be more than the sum of its parts.

We asked the experts – single parents who found love and romance through Internet dating – for their tips, cautions, and advice when it comes to dating with children.

• Are you looking for a partner for yourself, or a parent for your child? Some of our members told us that single parents who put too much emphasis on their kids can scare off potential dates.

• Don’t bring the kids with you on a first date. Wait until a relationship has had a chance to develop before you begin doing things together as a family.

• You do not need to introduce every date to your children – in fact this may be disruptive and confusing for them. Then again, don’t wait until you’re ready to announce your engagement before breaking the news to the children. When a relationship starts to get serious, it’s appropriate for everyone to start getting to know each other.

• Consider the feelings of your kids. If you’re single because of a divorce or separation, kids often feel they are somehow to blame. Bringing a new partner into the relationship can cause the kids to feel emotional confusion and even resentment. Be sure to let the kids know that your date is not meant to replace their “real” mom or dad.

• A loving partner deserves his or her fair share of attention. You are more than just a parent – if your life revolves around your children, your adult relationships can suffer unless you consciously make time for your partner as well as for your kids.

• Before the relationship develops too far, you should discuss and establish child discipline roles with a new partner. House rules need to be applied consistently, and both adults need to support each other’s decisions.

• Child support, custody and relations with your ex are matters for you and your ex-spouse to deal with privately. It’s inappropriate to expect a new partner to take sides.

• Do either or both of you want more children? This can be a big source of conflict in a relationship if one does, but the other doesn’t or can’t. Also consider the emotional effect on the children – a new baby may make the older kids feel they’ve been displaced in your affections.

• Kids are kids, friends are friends. Your kids are not appropriate confidantes about your dating and relationship issues, unless the kids are adults themselves. Don’t add to their confusion by putting them in adult roles.

• Although this is something nobody wants to think about, a small percentage of people seek out single parents as a way to gain access to children for potential abuse. For the safety and well-being of your family, please do the necessary background investigations before you get too involved with someone.

• Little pitchers have big ears. Be sure that your behavior in front of the kids is appropriate. In particular, be careful about displaying physical affection when the children are around. They know more – and understand less – than you may think. Don’t do anything in front of the kids that would embarrass you if they were to report back to the other parent.

• Children use their parents’ behavior as a model for their own lives. Though they may not express it all the time, you’re not just a parent, you’re their hero. The examples you set for your kids will influence them over a lifetime.

Remember, these are just guidelines. A lot will depend on the age of the children. Are there one, two or three? Are they 5 or 15, big difference. In talking with many of our singles who have re-entered the dating world, most agreed on these key points:

1) Don't introduce the kids to your date until the relationship has matured and you really know this person. Your kids don't need to grow an attachment only to feel the same hurt or pain when a relationship breaks off. Too many parents don't understand that their kids actually hurt for their mom or dad when they know a relationship didn't work out. They don't have the maturity to understand the dating world. Protect them, leave them out of it for the first three months, period. Yes, it's difficult, yes you have a life too, three months is still our recommendation.

2) Okay, so it's been three months, you meet her kid(s), she's cooking dinner for you. Guys, don't do sleepovers. Yes, it's tempting. Yes, I know you don't want to leave. When the kids go to bed, only to wake up and see you still there, it causes all kinds of confusion. Trust me, you’d better be seriously considering putting a ring on her finger if you're going to start doing sleepovers. Kids will not easily forget the person who shared Mom or Dad's bed. You may not understand the damage it causes until they reach 14 years of age, but by then you will.

3) Single parents need to be able to sit down with their kids before they introduce these key relationship milestones. Remember, as parents we are teachers. Our kids are our students. Think about the lessons we're teaching them, and ask yourself, "Do they understand?". If not, you need to work harder.

Until the relationship matures into something serious, we recommend you keep the kids "out" of it. Have a date night, but don't let the kids feel threatened by it. You only have your kids living with you for a very short time, think about them first. Both of you!



From: www.tryinternetdating.com

Is he married? Straight talk to women about "game players'.

It is believed around the online dating circuit that a full one-third of the men on most of the national dating sites are married. Another one-third are in a bad relationship and they're out "hunting". Some dating sites cater to the Married but Looking crowd, others ask people to pledge honesty about their marriage status and don't accept married members. So, how do you find out if he's married without hiring a private investigator? We hope this article helps:

Picture this scenario: You’re a woman on her own, with or without a relationship or two in your past. While the single life can be carefree and exciting, you also look forward to the companionship of a man who can be your best friend, your romantic partner, and, possibly, your future husband.

There’s just one catch. The last thing you want is to get involved with a married man, and not all men are forthcoming about their status. How do you find out if he’s already “taken”?

The one answer we heard from everyone we asked was "Be direct". Before you go to the trouble of typing his name into a search engine such as Google.com or Yahoo.com, or even paying for an online background check, ask up front if he’s married or currently in a relationship. Remind him "married" means not legally divorced - some guys think separated is divorced, go figure!

We also learned from dating experts that married men often give clues about their real lives, whether they mean to or not. Here are some tips on what to look for:

• Where do you typically go for dates? Does he avoid places near where he lives or works? Have you been to his home? Met his family? Is he nervous about being seen with you in public?
  
  
• Does he give you a cell phone number or a work number, but never a home phone number? Does he tell you only to call him at work because he’s never home?
  
  
• Does he call off dates with frequent tales of bad luck? A car that breaks down, a forgotten appointment, a sudden change in work schedule? Bad luck happens to everyone now and then, but people with something to hide seem to have more than their fair share of it.
  
  
• Not all married men wear a wedding band, and not all rings are wedding rings, but if you see a tan line or a groove where he would ordinarily be wearing a ring, that may be cause for suspicion.
  
  
• Ask him what he likes to eat. Single men either cook for themselves, or they go out to eat. If he looks well nourished but is vague about his dining-in preferences, someone, probably his wife, is feeding him.
  
  
• Does he use the words “we” or “I” when he talks about vacations, adventures, or day to day activities? If he unconsciously refers to himself in the plural, there may well be a wife and family involved.
  
  
• Does he keep an odd schedule? If he works regular daytime hours but can never seem to meet you for dinner during the week, or if he’s oddly strict about when you can call, he may be trying to coordinate his home life and his extracurricular activities.

What's his attitude about relationships? Does he admit to, or mention previous infidelities? Does he think monogamy is boring, stifling, or impossible to achieve?

Romance and excitement are wonderful, but the best relationships are based on trust, friendship and fidelity. Use your best judgment in deciding whether to continue a relationship with a man you know (or suspect) is married, but give some thought to how you would feel about the “other woman” if you were his wife.



From:tryinternetdating.com

After the break-up, your "first love" never really leaves you, according to student research at UC Berkeley

... Berkeley - Whether your heart belongs to anyone this Valentine's Day may depend on what happened the first time you fell in love.

This new finding, by University of California, Berkeley, graduate student Jennifer Beer, challenges the notion commonly held since Freud that the stability of the parent-child relationship sets the stage for attachment later in life.

With romance, said Beer, "Some of the problems you have in the romantic domain may have more to do with your first love than with your parents." She based her work on the first-love stories of 303 UC Berkeley undergraduates, mostly juniors, collected in 1997.

By "first love," Beer doesn't mean a childhood crush on a teacher or movie star, but the first real relationship of a romantic nature between two individuals, often experienced in adolescence or early adult years. Those who remember the experience positively are more likely to consider themselves securely attached to their current romantic partners, she said, and to perceive their romantic partners as securely attached to them.

She now is looking at how such recent and distant "vivid" representations of self and partner are stored in different memory systems in the brain and what this might reveal about self-perception.

"Vivid memories are very detailed, self-defining, something you recall a lot, stories and anecdotes you dwell on or tell all the time," Beer said.

In the case of first love, such memories often range from bittersweet but fond - perhaps recollections of a poignant puppy love tinged with regard or regret for a long-ago sweetheart - to deeply painful, soul-crushing experiences.

Whatever happened, "it can set you up as thinking, 'This is what I am like as a relationship partner,' " Beer said.

People who recollect their first romantic experience as involving good feelings, for instance, citing memories of happiness, excitement, strength, inspiration, pride and enthusiasm, were more likely to be in stable relationships years later than those recalling hostility, upset, stress, guilt, fright or shame, Beer found.

"First love relationships often break up. So people say, 'What do you mean, good feelings? It was a breakup,' " she said. "But even though the relationship ended, which seems like it might be negative, the vivid memories surrounding the experience can be good or bad."

As an example of a good experience, Beer cited one respondent who suffered greatly because her former boyfriend dated other women immediately after their relationship ended. But, prior to that, the experience had been a positive taste of what love could be, and the woman learned what made her happy in a relationship.

Alternatively, Beer described a stormier experience that left the respondent years later with the unshakeable suspicion that all men were untrustworthy.

"This is wrong, but I cannot help myself," the respondent commented. "One negative experience has been enough to change my entire outlook on men."

Beer identified four patterns of perception surrounding relationships:

• Secure - A secure, positive sense of both self and partner in a relationship.
  
  
• Dismissive -A positive sense of self, but not of partner.
  
  
• Preoccupied - A positive sense of partner, but not of self.
  
  
• Fearful - Negative recollections of both.

Those with memories of positive emotion and outcomes from their first relationship "were more likely to have positive views of self and others in romantic relationships," Beer said. "Those with more negative emotions and outcome were more likely to show one of the other three patterns."



By Kathleen Scalis e, Media Relations

10 ways to attract a ma